


King and Lionheart

by eleinordash



Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 04:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 57,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11570361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleinordash/pseuds/eleinordash
Summary: This is of an introductory in the story. Elydir’s life in the palace, the years that passed, main characters and events are explained.Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.{ http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }





	1. A day filled with surprises

The day started as one of those days that Elydir wished for a change. The monotony of her life and the routine was not something she disliked; quite the contrary, actually. She preferred a routine more than unpleasant surprises. Yet, many surprises were to come this new day.  
Two wars, great wars, hurt the Woodland Realm. The Battle of the Five Armies took many elven lives that tried to help the Men and bring down a fearless beast. And yet, no one could predict the War of the Ring, that took even more. The forest was on fire several times, but the elves were ready. The heart was untouched and thankfully, as they managed to stop the fires from spreading fast. But the land was hurt and lives were once more lost. There was great weight on the shoulders of all leaders and especially those in the military, when those words were spoken.

 

The time passed fast, though. Evil has left the land, the Dark Lord’s darkness left the forest once and for all. The Woodland Realm was no more. Now, Eryn Lasgalen stood healthy and blooming, both the forest and the realm itself.  
The prince had left to roam the world, with his new, close friend, Lord Gimli. A very interesting fellow; Ely found herself liking his company, as she enjoyed his father’s and the rest of the dwarves’, on her time when she was with the Company of Thorin Oakenshield. After so many years, Ely was –at last- left with good memories. She came to forgive herself for the loss of her dwarf friends and she lived a rather normal life, away from the pain of the past. Mostly.

Being already 3,500 years old, everything felt so different. King Elassar had passed and so did his queen. Arwen’s loss pushed Elrond to sail, but his sons changed his mind. Seeing that there was still need of them, the Lords of Lothlorien remained, as well. The elven kingdoms of Lothlorien and Imladris were united and now all lords and the elves that chose to stay in Arda were in the ‘Deep Valley of the Cleft’.  
Everything changed as time passed but at the same time, in an unexplained way, everything was the same. Almost all the inhabitants of Mirkwood remained and more came, not wishing to leave Arda yet. The realm was here without the use and protection of a Ring of Power and so it would remain. The other two Elven realms were facing a few difficulties but they were easily getting used to this. A land free of the darkness of the past was recovering and adapting fast, Ely thought.

 

But Elydir had changed. The wars made her heart filled with sorrow and that feeling made her stone heart break. Now, she desired someone in her life. Her bed was too cold, her arms too empty. She had never felt love, or how it feels to be loved, to be safe. She was never touched by man or woman. She was alone, with only her friend Tauriel, her assistant Irindul, her uncle Sellion and her King. Thranduil. A long sigh left her lips.  
Getting ready, the half elf walked to the halls. In a royal blue tunic, with a few grey details and a matching pair of grey leggings, she held her notebook and walked to the Council Halls, where another meeting would take place.

As every day, Ely waited for everyone to arrive and took a cup of tea, as they waited and chatted for the king to arrive. She chuckled over something her assistant said and looked at the door, where a tall man walked in. Grey-blue eyes fell on hers, with hair as if the sun and the moon had given it its color. Thranduil was, as always, in perfect shape. Serving his favorite tea and getting his files in front of him, she sat on the chair on his left and the meeting began.  
It was two hours later that the doors opened and people started to exit the halls. Elydir was writing down a few last notes and Thranduil next to her spoke as she wrote, when Tauriel came in, panting.  
“Legolas is coming!” she said, ignoring all formalities and with a great smile on her face. Thranduil broke his serious expression and looked at his knight and captain before standing. The three of them walked fast to the entrance, where a few people waited already.

 

A write horse rode in and stopped, with the prince and Gimli, older than Ely remembered him. A soft sigh left her lips once more, remembering that many friends of hers had left. But she pushed away the sad thought for now.  
Without hesitation, the three took a few steps closer that the growing crowd behind them and father and son looked at each other in silence for a minute. As gently as possible, Ely pushed her king a bit forward. That was all the prince needed to ran in his father’s arms and embrace him tightly. Thranduil did not expect this, but the moment Legolas’ arms wrapped around his neck, he hugged his only son, winking at her in a silent thanking.  
As the family shared a moment, she walked to Gimli and embraced him. She asked questions about his family, the wife he had and children, who he happily showed her from a sketch in a necklace he wore. Just like his father, she thought and smiled.

 

~*~

 

A feast was in order, but not a big or fancy, as the realm was famous for. It was for the members of the court –which were quite a few- but still a close circle. Generals and commanders, lords and ladies; music and wine filled the room, along with happiness and smiles. Eryn Lasgalen welcomed its prince back.  
The White Knight was not present as a knight, but as a lady this evening. Meaning, she was in a dress rather than her armor, which she preferred in such occasions. The steel was always offering a sense of safety, that no dress would ever give her. In her good luck, the two of them returned from Imladris, so Glorfindel had accompanied them with a few guards to make sure the prince was back safely. Ely and Glorfindel had met when Ely was young and had visited the realm due to a serious injury. The blond elf had helped with her recovery and training for a time and they had grown to be good friends.  
In a sky blue, with flower details in the color of sand and long sleeves, open and airy in the same light color, the lady was happily chatting with her friends. Glorfindel, clearing his neck, stood and offered a hand to Elydir to dance with him. With a warm smile, she accepted the invitation and stood.

 

“So, how is my dear friend? Apart from being more and more beautiful with each passing day?” he complimented, making her cheeks turned into a soft shade of pink.  
“Stop it. You enjoy flirting ladies so much, don’t you?” she said and chuckled.  
“I do, that’s very true” he agreed and wrapped an arm around her waist, then took her hand in his. “You look beautiful as ever, Fin” she complimented, using the little nickname he liked; he rolled his eyes.  
“Alright, be honest” he said, getting to the point.  
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to” she said softly, as they moved, her dress making her look as if she was flying.  
The elf lord raised an eyebrow and span her around, before continuing. “Are you still in love with him?” he asked in a whisper.  
The question Elydir feared. Apart from Glorfindel who noticed and Tauriel -who Elydir felt the need to open her heart to- no one knew of the one Ely held dear in her heart. She feared the reaction of others. For a single moment, she let her disappointment and tiredness shown. “Yes”

 

Glorfindel stopped in the middle of the dance floor, frowning. He took her hand and placed it around his arm, walking towards the door and towards the gardens. Only once they were alone, he sighed and looked at her. “Ely, this is killing you” he said, concern coloring his sweet voice. “I can see it’s taking a physical toll on you”  
Letting her true emotions show once more, she sighed. “I know. But he’s my king, Fin. Not someone I could show my feelings to. He raised me, not as much as my uncle but he still did. I could be his daughter, I’l a few years older than the prince”  
“But you’re not. And feelings change, they evolve or fade, depending on the time you spend with someone. You need to speak your mind and heart to him. You owe this to yourself”  
She let her hands fall and walked to the large fountain that was in front of them. Sitting on its edge, she ran her fingers on the cold marble, before looking up and to the stars. “It’s not right. He was my father’s friend. He wouldn’t approve. And my uncle won’t approve either, he served Oropher and Thranduil his entire life. And what about Legolas? Won’t he feel betrayed? I’m not even talking about the court, that will never approve or all the attempts either on my life or his. I will put him in danger. And this is not what I want”

 

The elf lord followed and sat next to her. “Ely, I’m your friend. And as one, I want to see you happy. All the silly flirting and the teasing are nothing but that; a game, something to make you smile even a little. I care for you, as I know you care for me as well” he said, taking her hand and pressing a gentle kiss on it. “I’m worried about you”  
She smiled and looked in his blue eyes. “Thank you, *mellon nin, truly. It’s just not meant to be, with Thranduil and I. And if not with him, then it’s simply not meant to be with another. The nature of my work, my own nature.. I’m destined to be alone”  
He rolled his eyes and hugged her tightly, something that always surprised Ely, but she enjoyed it nonetheless. “If only Ecthelion was here. He was always good at making others feel nice. His flute and his voice would be enough to make you smile” he said and she hugged him back.  
“I know you miss your loved ones, Fin. Why are you still here?” she whispered. “You’ve spend so much time worrying for me, when you could tell me of your own pain”  
“I will sail with Elrond, we made a deal. Once we both make sure the twins can take care of the realm on their own. But I might stay to make sure a certain knight will manage to be happy, before I ever go back to my family”

 

Elydir sighed. “Thank you for believing in me when I don’t even believe in myself” she whispered. Meaning those words more than he could possibly understand. Soon, they returned to the feast, celebrating with the others. The fake smile that always rested on her face was placed back, as a mask she had to wear to conceal all the tiredness and the void within her. Soon after that, she returned to her cold bed. And soon, a day with many changes came.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * mellon nin = my friend


	2. A morning colored by sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast and a close tete-a-tete with Thranduil. More of Ely’s background mentioned. And simple but intense moments.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a change of p.o.v (point of view) in the story, though I'm not font of doing that, it may appear in next chapters too. Explaining the character's story requires the thoughts of those around her sometimes. :)

A new day started and as the previous one, Ely got in her blue outfit again and went to have breakfast with the Royal family and their guests. But a disturbing night had made her quite moody. Nightmares had been reduced, since part of her had accepted the loss of her friends and family. But part of her was never really fine with either. The previous night, she saw friends, family, people she cared about; her parents, her few friends, the people she respected and drew strength from. Killed. All by her own hand.

Just as she was to knock on the king’s door, the knight felt a shadow behind her. She turned, a bit faster than planned, causing the person behind her take a step back. Lord Cadeyrn, a tall, dark-haired elf with strange, dark eyes. Almost black. He was one of the people that openly did not like Elydir but was always polite, if not friendly.

 

“Lord Cadeyrn!” she said and smiled. “My apologies, you got me by surprise”  
“So did you, my lady. And please, call me Cadeyrn” he said and took her hand, kissing her knuckles. She blushed deeply but smiled politely at the unusual action.  
“Is there anything I could do for you?” she asked, gently taking her hand back.  
“I have happened to come across the jewel maker’s wife a few minutes ago. Will you inform his majesty that he is sick and will need some time to recover? His rings are ready though” the elf lord said, causing Ely a soft frown. Elves rarely get sick, if not ever.

“Fear not, my lady, it’s nothing serious. Now, if you excuse me, I have some matters that require my attention. Have a good day” he said and with that, he walked away. Despite her concern about the jewel maker –and making a mental note to get some flowers or a cake and visit his house later- Elydir was left with a soft smile. Thing that didn’t go unnoticed by the others.  
Legolas happily embraced his friend and sister-in-arms, as the previous day they didn’t get the chance to. She took her place next to him and Glorfindel, facing the king on the other side of the table.

 

“My lord, the jewel maker is feeling sick today, but your rings are ready” she informed and thanked Glorfindel for the tea.  
He hummed, a hum the knight knew it was concerned, but skipped any comments. “Legolas was telling us of his adventures with lord Gimli, here”  
“Nothing I haven’t written in my letters, really” the prince said, Thranduil looking between them.  
“You exchanged letters?” he asked, Ely rubbing her face. He was the one that asked of her not to mention anything about them. Before Legolas could say anything, she spoke.  
“My apologies, my lord. I wanted to make sure he was alright, but at the same time, not feel as if I was giving you reports of your son’s location and actions. The fault is mine, I should’ve told you”  
Legolas frowned, but rolled with the excuse. “In any case, my arrival was not something I mentioned. It was a surprise” the prince spoke, looking at Gimli, before sipping his tea.

Glorfindel decided to change the subject of their conversation. “Lady Tauriel, I heard you are to be webbed to an elf lord soon” he said and she nodded.  
“After some years, yes, I feel like I found someone to spend the rest of my life with” she said with a smile. Ely held Fin’s hand under the table, feeling as if a dagger was thrown straight to her heart.  
“And what about Ely? She is gorgeous and clever and a famous warrior. Still young and with a golden heart. Who would not desire your hand? I mean, you are more fitting to be queen than anyone I know. At least, queen of someone’s heart” he said, causing Ely to swallow her tea too fast and couch hard. “Don’t tell Lady Galadriel I said that” Glorfindel added fast, before offering her a napkin.  
Soft chuckles were spread, but once she stopped and looked up, all eyes were on her but the one pair she wanted to have. She looked down on the napkin she was holding and wore her best smile as a mask once more. “I don’t have time to look for anyone. My job takes full control of me. And I’m a warrior. Warriors are not meant to be queens”

 

“Oh, come now, lass. I saw that pretty elf with the black hair outside. He looked at you as if you are the sun” Gimli tease, making her raise an eyebrow.  
“Cadeyrn?” Thranduil asked, his voice heard for the first time since this conversation began. “Dark blue eyes, almost black?” he asked and the dwarf lord nodded.  
“Cadeyrn? He’s a famous bachelor, it’s true. Quite handsome, good family name. You should-“  
“I shouldn’t” she interrupted Legolas’ words, in a harsher tone than she wished to. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to be rude. But I…” her voice faded. So many images passed before her eyes. Killings, screams, herself wounded, her friends dying, her brothers and sisters in arms. Even the time when she took revenge of her parents’ deaths. She paled. “I am a sinner. Not worth of love whatsoever. Sinners are left to face a life of loneliness”  
Worried eyes fell on her and looks were exchanged. “I- I’m sorry, Ely. I seem to have said something that have hurt you” the prince said, the knight shook her head.

“It’s just that I have too much blood on my hands. Two wars were enough to make me want peace. I always wanted peace. But no one ever said I deserve it. Same goes with love” she explained. Even Glorfindel next to her remain silent in such words. Though Ely was sure he wished to speak against them.  
The Elvenking, with a light frown, examined her face as she looked down. “Nonsense. Everyone deserves happiness” he said casually and looked at Legolas, sipping his tea. “The conversation has turned rather dark for such a bright morning. Let’s change that. Legolas, what is it that you wished to tell us?”  
The prince spoke of some matters he wanted to share with the rest, but Ely could not hear him any longer. Glorfindel leaned close, whispering in her ear. “Don’t do this to yourself” he whispered and she gave him a pained smile.  
“I don’t want to, it’s just the way I am” she whispered back and sipped her tea.

 

~*~

 

Days passed and soon Glorfindel was needed back. With a warm hug that lasted a few moments, Elydir wished he could stay forever there. His support was similar to her uncle’s, much needed. And he was about to sail soon, which was bringing more and more sorrow to her life. She was losing more and more of the people she loved.  
Back in her regular routine, Ely was to get the swords of the king, now polished and sharp, back to his chambers. She couldn’t help herself, though. Making sure her king wasn’t around, she took the swords to the training fields and admired them. She held them, as he did, the one normally, while the other on reversed grip. They were heavier than she believed, one she could handle, but both were not well balanced for her.  
She waved them, soon getting used to the weight and the sensation of the sharp blade cutting the air with a soft whistle. She chuckled to herself, as she waved both and they made a beautiful noise, as every freshly sharpened blade would. One of her most favorite things in the world, she thought. The simplicity and perfection of a weapon.

Little did she know that the king passed outside the training fields with Galion, but she caught his eye. Raising an eyebrow when he noticed that these swords were his own, he dismissed the elf and walked inside silently as a cat would. “A bit heavy for you, I take it?” he spoke, his voice calm and serious.  
Taken by surprise, one of them slipped on her hand, falling on the floor. She turned around, her face red and picked it up, quickly taking a cloth and cleaning off the dust.

 

“I’m so sorry, your Majesty. I- I would never, I mean I did, but I wouldn’t take them without asking your permission first an- and I was on my way-“  
The king chuckled in her reaction, taking one and leaving the slightly lighter one to her. “It’s alright. I understand the awe they offer. They are wonderful indeed. Guessed who helped me design them” he said and ran his finger on the unsharpened edge of the blade.  
Aegon, of the House of the Silver Sword, was a White Knight as his father and grandfather before him. He was famous for the new patrol system and the reconstruction of the walls in many parts of the realm, so they would be stronger and resist the river’s overflow in winter. They were many reasons why people loved Aegon. One of them was that he valued the commoners as he valued the court. Another was that he tried to serve both the high and the low levels of citizens and their needs. Another was the corruption he hid behind his actions.

But what made him known to the world was the fact that he was an inventor. Armors, weapons, defense systems, he had created so many things with the help of blacksmiths and the army of the Woodland Realm owned him a great many things.  
Elydir’s sword was one of the sketched he had in the many diaries he left her. She took it to the blacksmiths and made it. Her short blade -both a small sword and a dagger- was something he had made for her when she was born, for the time when she would reach the right age to wield it. Many things he had made, but this.. She admired the patterns and the design of the sword she was holding, with a soft smile. Almost nostalgic. If only she had met him.  
“He was beloved for many reasons, this one included” she said and ran her fingers on the blade, cutting her finger accidentally. A drop of blood fell and she tried her best not to let her expression change at all. “Too sharp. Good” she said and offered the sword back to its owner. Her heart always grew heavier every time her parents were mentioned.

 

Part of the people’s hate against her was not that she was half Elf and half Man. The main reason was that her birth triggered his death. Many members of the court lost their influence on the king, as he always tried to satisfy the council and have a good relationship with them –thing that Elydir never approved of and this caused many assassination attempts towards her.  
But also because he too lost his way. Let wealth overcome his ideals and kept the back market a secret. When he wished to make a family and correct his mistakes, he paid for it with his life. No one would let the Knight tell the king of such a profitable illegal market for those in power. Aegon learned that the hard way. But this was a secret, something Elydir found out of her father’s diaries. Not even Thranduil knew.  
“I wish my birth had not killed them. Any of them. I need them now more than I ever did before. I always needed them. And now, on my own.. My uncle will sail with the next ship, this gives me a month or two with him” she said, taking a long breath and letting it out. “At least he’ll find them there. And his parents and the woman he loved. I want to believe he’ll fine peace there. This will bring me some, as well”

Thranduil walked close and rested a hand on her shoulder, before placing his finger under her chin and raising her head so their eyes would meet. Ely hated these moments. She could get lost in those eyes so easily; the world faded when Thranduil looked at her like this. She felt exposed, naked, almost like melting. All attempts to hide her feelings were pointless. And he knew the effect he had on her, she was sure of this. “You will never be alone. I will be with you. I will always be your family” he said, his voice velvet and low as a whisper.  
A shiver ran through her spine, but she smiled and hoped he wouldn’t notice. “You cannot. You’re the king, I am nothing but a warrior, an adviser-“  
“My personal guard, commander of my guard, my assistant-“  
“Still not worth of your care” she interrupted him one last time.

 

He studied her eyes for a long moment. “You’re lying” he whispered. “You need me. Have you ever considered the possibility of me needing you as well?”  
This confused her, enough to show on her expression. “What do you mean?” she asked, her heart skipping a beat at the smirk he gave her as a reply.  
“Legolas wishes to sail with Gimli. He had a vision in his dreams of Varda, he says. She asked him to take him there with a boat. I disagree, _obviously_ , but when has he ever listened to me before?” he asked and chuckled. His stubborn son took after his stubborn mother.  
“Tauriel wishes to retire and start a family. So you tell me, daughter of House of the Silver Sword...” he said, leaning close to her and making her breath stuck in the back of her throat. “...Do I not need someone by my side? One last person to call family?”

Elydir _wished_. She wished he meant it the way she wanted him to mean it. She wished she could just move closer, one single step closer and their lips would join. One breath. She could move closer one breath and feel his warm, sweet breath own. He gently caressed her cheek, as it the torment she felt was not strong enough.  
“I will never leave you” she whispered. She took his hand in hers and lowered it from her cheek, taking a step back. She looked down. Could she do anything else? “You’re like a father to me. A friend. One that keeps me safe more than I keep him safe” she said and offered a soft smile to him.

 

{Thranduil’s p.o.v.}

 

Thranduil looked disappointed for a moment. He didn’t know why but the warmth of her face, her body.. Elydir was raised next to Legolas. His late wife adored the little girl with the golden hair and eyes. He grew to love her as his own. But the more she grew up, the less she seemed to see him as a father.  
She always cared, she always helped him. Sometimes, she even mothered him, which amused him greatly. But the more they were growing to be friends, the more he missed the closeness they had when she was little. He desire her close to him. Although, he was slowly realizing the closeness he desired was changing.  
“That’s not true. You keep me safer than you think” he said and stroke her cheek. “Go, I will not hold you away from your duties. Make sure my kingdom is running smoothly for me, will you?” he teased and let his hand fall, walking to the door.

“I sometimes wonder why you’re the king” she teased back, making a smooth laughter leave his lips as he walked outside.  
Was it his own loneliness? Was it the fact that Elydir had grown to be such a beautiful person? Or the fact she was working so hard to please him, to fix all the things her father did –which he was fully aware of- to keep the people safe, to stay alive? She was so strong and yet so fragile. It almost scared him, the day she would realize he couldn’t see her as his child anymore, but as a beautiful woman now. He walked with his swords to his chambers.

~*~


	3. Who is in control?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An attack is taking place on the palace against the king’s life. How will they face this? How is responsible and how will they respond to it?
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

It was afternoon and Elydir was walking towards the training fields once more. It was defense training today, mostly with shields, thing Ely was not fond of. Still, her duty to her guard was to train them in every possible fighting style, all that she knew. Her knowledge was giver to the knights she recruited over the years and since the knighthood was open for wealthy and not, many came in search of a better life; which Elydir appreciated greatly. It was an honor to be a Knight in the Kingsguard. White cloaks and a feather on the armors were the symbol of the elite guard of the Royal family.

She was but a few steps away when Irindul came, running and panting heavily. She frowned and supported his weight, seeing he was weak from all the running. “Take a breath, my friend. What is it?” she asked calmly.  
“Intruders… The guard tries.. To find them.. Three… Assassins” the elf breathed and coughed.  
“Get in the field, gather the active knights. Have you alerted the rest?” she asked and he nodded. She patted his back and ran, her hand on her sword. Thank the Valar she was to train and was wearing her armor.

 

Tauriel had already reached Legolas and Gimli, who were armed and with one of them lying down. “Two more, stay with them and check the west hall” she said at Tauriel, running to the throne room. Meeting a patrol, she ran next to her fellow brothers and sisters-in-arms.  
Kicking the door open, Thranduil was already fighting the two assassins. She wished they were only two. Six had pushed the king against his throne, another three laying down already. The elves ran to assist their king and Ely ran to stand in front of him.

As the fight began, Elydir manage to look at Thranduil only once. He was alright. Not entirely though.. A long, red line ran from his knee and kept growing.  
With a frustrated scream, she fought back. Two fell from her blade and the last one has about to, if the hand of the Elvenking hadn’t stopped her. “No” he growled. “He’s the last. And I will have a word with him before he meets his end” he said and the knights looked at their king as he pulled down the black hood the man was wearing. Dark green eyes looked around, but with more than eight swords above his head, he did nothing.  
Two elves held him and made him sit on his knees.  
“Who sent you?” he asked with a low, yet intimidating tone. The elf spat towards the king, but not reaching him. Elydir, barely controlling her rage, pressed her short blade under his chin.

 

“Next time, I’ll cut a limp. I hope you can walk on two hands, because I’m starting from the legs. And trust me, I’m not playing games here” she said, with an almost evil smile. “I’ve done it before, I know my way well” she added, hoping her tone was scary enough.  
“I don’t trust abominations” he said, with a victorious smile. Without even asking permission, Ely stabbed his leg with her short blade, not cutting it or hitting an artery. A careful, precise blow. The elf cried in pain as she twisted the dagger slightly.  
“Elydir” Thranduil said, in a steady tone and she pulled the blade off of him, making him yell louder. She walked back and let the king lean on her, as his leg was still bleeding and he needed support.

“I would advise you to listen to her. I won’t stop her again” the king said, the man biting his lips to keep himself from crying further from the pain. “Do not play games with the one that holds the upper hand”  
The man laughed. “Upper hand? Is this what you think you are? The upper hand?” he asked, looking around. “Half of your council is corrupted to the bone. Planning to murder you in your sleep, on your precious throne, use the wine you drink or the clothes you wear. Others with poison, others sending assassins and others on plain sight. Do you think we are the only ones to come? We aren’t. A storm is coming, son of Oropher. You should have stayed in Doriath and fall with it!”

 

The king, with an amused smile, placed the tip of his sword under his chin, pressing on the man’s neck and making him clench his teeth. “I should have stayed and yet I didn’t. Call it the will of the Valar. Now, tell me who send you”  
“No name” he said, his breathing faster. “He gave no name to me. Only came and paid me and my men. He spoke of the corruption, of the storm. He sent us as a warning. We would only warn you”

“And you did” he spoke. “I see no reason to kill you, should you only tried to give a message. But I cannot let you leave. I’ll have you imprisoned” he said and looked at Elydir, rubbing his chin. It was a sign they had agreed only the two of them to know.  
“Unless I, as your personal guard, don’t approve of this decision” she said, the knights getting the point. It wasn’t the first time this happened. “And I do not” she added and buried her short blade in the man’s chest. A gasp came and eyes froze, burning with hate for her at the same time. He soon left his final breath and the knights took him away, along with the other corpses. “Make sure they are cleaned and buried. No one deserves to rot” she said as the healers came.

 

~*~

 

Taken back to his chambers, his close associates stayed as the head healer stitched the cut and wrapped it in bandages. “It’s rather deep, but it will heal, my lord; no more than one week and a half. I recommend rest for a few days, perhaps the help of a walking stick. Other than that, there was no trace of poison was on the wound, so it’ll be fine” he said and with a nod of a silent thanking from the king, he left.  
In the room, Legolas and Gimli were seated on the chairs around a small, round table. Tauriel was leaning on the wall, next to the prince, while Ely was sitting on the armchair’s arm, her uncle on the armchair.

“A warning of this size is one we cannot ignore, my king” Sellion spoke, breaking the silence.  
“We knew already there were corrupted members, Sellion. Where do you think most assassination attempts came from, either to me or my son or even Elydir?” he asked, the knight looking at him as her name was mentioned.  
“I didn’t know you knew about them..” she admitted in a low voice.  
“I know everything that happens to my halls, Elydir. Including the fact that many times people mistreat you, yet you report nothing to me. And many more things I pretend not to see” he spoke and sighed. Elydir avoided his gaze.  
“We need a response” Legolas said. “Something to scare them. More patrols?” Legolas asked.  
“It won’t make much of a difference” Gilmi said, smoking his pipe. “An extra guard never showed power, but only fear. No extra guards, it’ll draw attention and show cowardice”  
“Spies. Spies always work, push some servants or guards close to the members to gain information” Tauriel suggested.

 

Ely shook her head. “No use of means that can be harmed. Will you bear responsible for the death of a guard, should they be discovered? No, it’s not an honorable way-“  
“We don’t need honorable ways, Elydir” Tauriel interrupted the knight.  
“Tauriel is right, we need something effective. Even if it’s not morally right” Thranduil agreed.  
“A trap” Sellion hushed all voices. “We have to set them a trap, just as they did to us”  
The king hummed in thought after such suggestion. “This sounds interesting. What do you have in mind, old friend?”  
“Well, that is easy, my king. We kidnap you” he suggested and relaxed on his chair. All eyes landed on him, Elydir narrowing her eyes as she looked at her uncle. “Try and remember, little hawk. Your father’s fourth journal. ‘Ways of escape’, page.. twenty six, if I’m not mistaken”

She hummed. “Page twenty seven, first paragraph was about the faster ways. Then openings, then secret doors. I don’t remember…” she stopped. She turned and looked at Thranduil. “No. No no no..”  
“Do you care to share with us what you’re talking about?” Legolas suggested, amused from their own, personal code.  
“Aegon, Mandos rest his soul, wrote down many of his secrets, which after his death were passed to me and Elydir. One of them includes ways of helping the king leave the kingdom undetected. We wanted to avoid the events of Doriath and every realm that fell. So one of the ways is to disguise the king as a citizen and let him slip through the gates and ran away to a secure location. The only problem is that every cart is checked, even those with hay. So, there’s only one that is not checked. And that is the garbage cart”

 

“You’re telling me the safest way out of my own kingdom is to get in a car with dirt and rotten foods?” he asked and Ely looked at her uncle, before both answered in unison “Yes”.  
“Well, that started out as a wonderful idea but no. I am still king, I have some dignity and a serious image to my people. I’d prefer to maintain it” Thranduil refused, with a sour face.  
“The safest place, close to the kingdom is either our house or Beorn’s. He would help, if you don’t mind sharing a house with a huge, bear-like man” Ely said, a slight tease in her voice.  
“Of course I mind!” he said and caused chuckles to spread in the room.

“Alright, our house is well-isolated and comfortable. A room all yours, private bath.. Our family spared no expense when they built it, hoping the city would be built around the walls of the protected side of the forest. And worry not, we will have you under a blanket and this way so you can breast fresh air. Or somehow make it work.. It’s a few minutes away, until we are out of sigh. We’ll get you clothes and everything you need” Sellion offered. “Most preferably, a bath ready for you” he murmured under his breath, making Tauriel snore.

 

“Your Majesty, word of your abduction will confuse those who had plans to hurt you. Everyone will worry and try to find who did this, so whispers will spread. To spot those who are corrupted, we only have to have a few meetings and wait to see who will try to take control first. Or spot alliances within the court” Elydir said.  
“The law appoints Legolas, then Elydir and Tauriel in partnership of the command of the realm” Thranduil said and all three nodded.  
“It’ll be a matter of a few weeks. I’ll lead the investigation with fake evidence away, towards the north. I will need some help” Elydir said and Tauriel nodded, with a smirk. “And a good tracker” she added, and Legolas nodded.

“Seems to me that your family decided for you, king Thranduil” Gimli said with a chuckle, smoke leaving his lips. “I will remain in the palace. I’m good at making people talk. Without means you wouldn’t approve, like my axe” he teased.  
Thranduil sighed. “Eru Illuvatar, help us all”

 

~*~


	4. Is this what flirting feels like?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flirting and suspicions! And discovery of new feelings! And a bit emotional Elydir. Everything is so confusing for the knight, including her king's odd behavior. 
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m looking for a face claim for Cadeyrn. I think the most fitting is Vitto Basso, because I want someone equally -if not more- handsome than Thranduil, but also a bit dark.
> 
> I mean this image alone (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/5d/ef/94/5def94644478f98dab5d82978b278974.jpg ) is perfect. Just imagine him ith longer hair. Beautiful!

A week passed and nothing had happened after the assassination attempt. The king made an announcement that the guards and knights are more than enough, so patrols would be increased only in the nights, around the city. Only to make sure the people feel safer. The entire week, Ely had worked so hard and was more tired than usual. She was cleaning the house and trying to put an order to everything. She had a few hours every day to do so and, along with her duties, it was extremely tiring to do everything.

Another week passed and a problem came up. The bed in the guest room was old, so when Ely changed the sheets and sat on it, it broke. As if things weren’t hard already. She groaned and walked to the palace, knocking on her king’s door, her uncle next to her.  
Thranduil was in his study, working and hummed for them to enter. They took their seats in front of the desk and waited for him to finish. “Tell me” he said, leaving the pen down.

 

“There is a small problem” Ely started. “The bed in the guest room broke and to get a new one would attract a lot of attention, at this moment. A new bed with room for two people, that even I don’t use a lot might create suspicion of any kind… You will be moved in my chambers. It this alright with you? I will need to use the bathroom and get ready in the mornings. But I will be discreet and try not to bother you a lot”

Thranduil shrugged. “There’s no problem here, then. I might be a king but in this situation, I’ll just be your guest. But I do believe your hospitality will be more than enough. After all, I know both of you well, you are kind and generous people” the king said and hummed. “And what about you? I will be taking your bed”  
Ely had already agreed with her uncle to sleep on the floor of the guest room but knew that Thranduil would not allow it if he knew of it. And he needed rest, his knee was still recovering and he still used a walking stick. “Most probably in my uncle’s arms. Just like when I was little” she said and rested her hand on his shoulder.  
“You will have everything you need, my lord, we’ll make sure of that. And we are ready, so we need you to tell us when the ‘abduction’ will happen” Sellion said, resting his hand on top of his niece’s.

 

The Elvenking hummed. “I’m ready now, so it can happen tonight. Tauriel informed Gallion as well, as I will need someone to provide me with clothes and such. Tauriel will lead the investigation, you will be sick” he said and Elydir frowned at this change.  
“I will not. I am your knight, I cannot sit with my arms crossed and wait for you to be found” she protested.  
“You will take control with Legolas, as his assistant. Gallion will support you as well. But I don’t think it’ll be appropriate to be in your house on my own. After all, there are stairs I cannot fully walk up and down yet” he said and smirked.

She narrowed her eyes. He said he was better this morning. But eventually, she sighed, defeated. She couldn’t refuse any orders.  
“I will not protest to some rest, I suppose. I am running like a horse around the palace all week” she admitted.  
“We will be working, young lady. You’ll bring work home so I can help Legolas. I doubt he’ll manage everything by himself; after all, you do half the things for me” he said and opened his arms with a shrug, as if to prove his point.  
“More than half” she murmured and sighed. “As you wish, your Majesty” she said and excused herself. He had to know of her feelings and play with her. There was no other explanation why he would torture her like this.  
Walking to her own small study, she collapsed on the chair of her desk, resting her head on the wooden surface. “Damn, that man.. I had to love _that _man..”__

____

 

“I’m not sure who ‘that man’ is but I’m sure he’ll be quite interesting” a voice said and Ely raised her face from the desk, looking at the small couch and seeing Cadeyrn sitting across her.  
“I- I haven’t seen you, my lord. My apologies” she said and sat up straight, fixing her hair and clothes. “I was under the impression I locked the door. Never mind.. What can I do for you?”  
The elf lord smirked and moved to lean against her desk. “This assassination attack… Were you there when it happened?”  
The knight raised an eyebrow. “I was heading for the training fields, my assistant told me the king was under attack. I found my knights, we ran to the throne room and assist the king. Does that answer your question?” she asked, playing with her father’s ring that hugged her finger.  
“Hm..” he hummed. “You don’t like being questioned, do you?” he asked, with an amused, almost charming smirk.  
“I prefer asking them, aye. Who likes to be questioned anyway?” she said and smirked as well, feeling as if there was a sort of game between them. “I also want to know why you ask. You are someone that openly dislikes me. To come and ask questions means there’s much more behind them”

 

“Do you think I’m openly disliking you? No, no, White Knight. I don’t dislike you. I like going against you, because I like challenges and I’m sure you like them too. I like this. It’s like a game between us, it keeps thing interesting” he said and walked around the small room slowly. “I’m asking because whispers are spread in the council. People of the court silently point at others and they point back at them. Word spread that it was an inside job”  
She stood and walked to him, still trying to understand what was going on until she was standing right in front of him. “I believe so as well. No one could slip ten men through the gates without being caught. None but those that hold great power” he said with a voice sweet and melodic.

“But three literally ran inside –probably as a distraction. Still, you are correct. The guards at the gates are still interrogated and dismissed for a month as punishment. Though, they will probably be back a few days. It was not their fault, I believe” she said and examined his body. He was relaxed, yet stood proudly. As if he was showing off. The smirk was not a smile and his eyes were.. not the almost-black dark blue. Was he… Flirting her?

 

He raised his hand, caressing a thin lock of her brown hair, that left from her tight bun. He gently placed it behind her ear, his fingertips caressing its side and down her neck. The touch was gentle, almost pleasing. Elydir did not pull away. She.. Enjoyed this.  
With parted lips, she looked away and took a small step back. “Is there anything else you need?” she asked, hoping her voice would not betray her.  
The elf lord smiled and let his hand fall, though he took a step closer. “Dine with me” he whispered in her ear. His smell was reminding her of autumn. Cinnamon, honey, nuts, rain.

She shivered in the words. “Are you asking my permission to court me, lord Cadeyrn?”  
“Yes” the small word sounded so big at this very moment.”Dine with me tonight, lady Elydir”

 

She pulled back again. This wasn’t right. Elydir felt as if he was seducing her in order to gain something. She resisted all thoughts her mind was filled with. Then she remembered Glorfindel’s words. _Don’t do this to yourself_. She sighed. Thranduil was not returning her affection. Perhaps someone else could make her forget him. Cadeyrn thought Elydir was not interested and with a soft bow of his head, he turned towards the door.  
“Tonight” she agreed, making the elf lord turn and look back at her.  
He took her hand and kissed it gently. “I’ll be waiting for you, my sweet lady. I’ll count the minutes and the hours until we meet”  
With that, he left.

 

~*~

 

Elydir got in one of her dresses. It was in the color of raspberry, with a brighter shade of the color on the torso, but dark on the skirt and long sleeves. She wore a simple, silver necklace and a matching belt, letting her hair down. She was dressed simply and hoped this was enough.  
Thranduil asked the ‘abduction’ to happen tomorrow and Elydir didn’t protest. Instead, she got ready and exited her chambers, happening to see the king right outside. “My king” she said and closed the door behind her. “I did not expect to see you here”  
Thranduil’s eyes ran on her while body, making Ely feeling as if she was once more under his charm and he could see right through her. “You look wonderful, Elydir” he commented and smiled warmly.

“Thank you, your Majesty” she said, her cheeks red. “Lord Cadeyrn invited me to dinner tonight and I tried to be.. decent”  
Thranduil frowned. “Dinner?” he asked and she nodded. He tilted his head and cleared his throat. “Dinner sounds good. I hope you have fun tonight” he said and walked away. He didn’t like that. He didn’t trust that man and especially this suspicious ‘dinner’. Or was this her thought and she projected it to the king as well? She wasn’t sure, but she could see he did not like it.

 

Ely bit her bottom lip. “Thranduil?” she asked, cursing under her breath that she called his name. He turned, an eyebrow raised. “Is.. everything alright?” she asked, not sure what to say to him.  
“I don’t trust the man. He’s good at his job but that’s it” he said and she walked back to her again. So she was right, after all.  
“I believe he’s rather charming. And kind. And he tries to court me all this time and I am simply ignoring him. Why not give him a chance?” she replied, seeing the change in her king’s tone.  
“Because he’s dangerous” he said, his voice filled with annoyance. “I mean, everyone is, men. And women. I mean, he might want… things that you don’t”  
“I might want the things he wants from me” she said, a bit annoyed by the over-protection. “I’m not a child, Thranduil, I’m close to 4.000 years old. Stop pretending that I am your daughter, I’m a woman as well” she said and he got her arm.  
“Pretending? Do you think this is all about?” he asked and, not controlling his grip, he pulled her closer. “Do you think I haven’t noticed? How you’re growing and tempting all those people and their dirty minds? How they look at you as if they are predators and you are their prey?”  
Ely placed a hand on his. “You’re hurting me” she said and he relaxed his grip, letting her arm and taking a step back.

 

He didn’t mean to be harsh. She did nothing wrong, said nothing wrong. He had no reason to be harsh with her, Ely thought. “I.. I’m sorry..” Thranduil said, the anger in his eyes melting away in an instant.  
She looked at him with eyes filled with anger, their golden color vibrant. “If you don’t want to move on with your life, that doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t want to either. If you were willing to move on, I..” she said in harsh tone tone, tears threatening to fall.  
She couldn’t say it. Not on a fight, she couldn’t speak her feelings to him like that. “I would be happy for you. Encourage you to find happiness. Not judge you, not hurt you. Everyone will always want something from me, it’s how relationships work” she said and entered her chambers, slamming the door and resting her back behind it. She covered her mouth as tears ran free on her cheeks.

“Elydir, please, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I..” the king sighed, leaning against the door from the outside. “I am.. happy for you. How could I not be? I don’t want to be an obstacle to your happiness” he said, defeated.  
“You are my happiness” she said softly, knowing he wouldn’t hear. “Go rest, my king, we’ll speak in the morning” she said, hoping her tone wouldn’t betray her.  
Thranduil remained silent. And now she was crying, as silently as possible. Great. Her eyes would be a red mess. Why did he even grab her arm like that? “I’m sorry” he said and walked back away.  
Why was she crying in the first place? Elydir never cried. But she got so close, a step away from telling him everything. Perhaps that was the reason. She was so close to tell him how she really felt, how much he wished he could care for her as a woman and not as a child. After she managed to calm down and clean herself, she went to Cadeyrn, an hour late. She knocked softly.

 

The elf lord, in a black and silver outfit –gorgeous, Ely admitted to herself- smiled at her. “I thought you wouldn’t come. Come in”  
She raised a hand. “As you see, I was ready. But.. I’m not feeling well” she said, sniffing her nose softly. Her red eyes and red nose worked as a wonderful excuse. “I think I’m a little sick today.. Can we postpone it? I won’t want to cancel it, just to dine with you in a few days”  
He nodded. “Of course, don’t worry about it. You should go rest, my sweet lady” he said, taking her free hand and kissing her knuckles. He walked a step closer and, looking deeply in her eyes, he leaned down as if he would kiss her. And in her surprise, the knight was ready to kiss him. Parted lips, eyes already closed. His breath hit her neck and slowly moved higher, making her heart skip a bit. But he didn’t kiss her, as she expected.  
“Whenever you feel better, let me know” he whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek, before pulling away and let her hand slip from his.  
She smiled kindly and left, red and very confused. This was bad. Really bad.

 

~*~


	5. All rocks break from the waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil is 'abducted' from the palace before he's taken to Elydir's house. There, she speaks with her uncle and speaks her true feelings about her king.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

The sun was slowly rising and Eryn Lasgalen was slowly filling with life. Getting ready, the knight tried to push the events of the previous night away from her mind. She didn’t need any negative thoughts today, she had to help her king slip out of the kingdom. She had to be focused.  
But, as always, her plans were not meant to be as perfect as she wanted. Once she stepped inside the Council Hall, she bumped on someone accidentally. She was walking fast and her eyes were on her notebook, so she easily lost her balance. And yet, she waited to fall on the floor but didn’t.

Two arms were already around her waist, holding her in midair. She opened her eyes and sighed. “Cadeyrn” she breathed and he helped her stand. “I’m so sorry, I.. I was reading and..” she got her journal and notes from the floor. The lord chuckled and helped her with her papers.  
“It’s alright, it’s morning and we’re not fully awaken yet” he said and gave her papers. “Good morning, lady Elydir” he said and smiled, as if they had just seen each other.  
She chuckled, thankful he was willing to ignore how clumsy she was sometimes. “Morning, Cadeyrn”  
“I see you’re better” he said and leaned closer. His lips ghosted on her forehead, making Ely suck a deep breath. “No fever. That’s good” he whispered and saw more people coming in the room. He took a step back and walked with her to her seat.

 

“Why are you so kind to me?” she asked. “You show… care? This confuses me greatly, Cadeyrn. No man has every cared for me; only the few friends and family I have had. The few people I trust” she said and bit her bottom lip. This didn’t come out the way she thought of it.  
“And I haven’t gained your trust yet” he spoke, finishing her unspoken sentence. “Yesterday you asked me if I wanted your permission to court you. I said yes. Do you think I said that because I simply wanted to impress you? I happen to really, really want to be near you. To belong in the category of the ‘people you trust’. Should I not show that I care?”  
The lady looked up in his eyes. He was taller than her, which made things a bit worse. To look in his eyes meant easily getting lost in them. Same way she did with…  
“I want you to show me..” she spoke softly, only for him to hear. “I’m just not sure if I’m ready to trust you yet. Anyone; it’s nothing personal”

The elf lord looked back at her, examining her golden eyes. “When you walked in your office and hadn’t seen me you said you loved someone. If your heart belongs to another, Elydir, I will not push you into this. I’m admiring you from afar for so long and I will continue if you ask me to, but if-“  
“Cad..” she interrupted him. “My heart desires someone, yes. But it doesn’t belong to him. You… You could win my heart, if you try. But you need to try hard” she said and someone cleared his throat behind them.  
Thranduil was standing there, his hands behind his back and his eyes hard. “Good morning. Would you be so kind to take your seats so we can begin? I don’t have all day” he said, grumpy as many mornings. She sighed and let the elf lord leave, taking her seat and following her duties as every morning.

 

{Thranduil’s p.o.v.}

 

The king was highly irritated. Him? Really? Out of the entire kingdom, Cadeyrn was a person Thranduil could say he disliked so badly that he almost hated him. Part of him felt as if he threatened some sort of control he had over his knight. Elydir was like a daughter to him, family. To lose her meant to lose his last family. And last night’s actions gave him a taste of that, how alone he would be if he pushed the last person in his life away.  
But a bigger part of him knew he was not what he looked to be. The Elvenking could easily spot someone faking, with very few exceptions. Legolas, for example, in an open book to him. But this man… It was a mystery and he didn’t like that.

The meeting was over and Thranduil nodded to Elydir to follow him in the throne room. Taking his seat on the antlered throne, he sighed. “I want to apologize again for last night” he said, taking his crown off and running his slim singers through his hair. “I also want you to remain professional. Public shows of affection are.. Not appropriate for the lady of your status”  
It was the best he could come up with, at the moment. If he wasn’t to say this, Ely would start questioning him. Why he didn’t like Cadeyrn, why he was cautious. Why he was so harsh with her last night. He wouldn’t be able to answer this, even if he wanted. He didn’t even know why this was so irritating to him. Elydir was a woman now, she could make her own decisions. The king felt that she was walking into pain and he didn’t want that. Perhaps there was more to that reason, but for now, he convinced himself he was simply worried for her.

 

{Elydir’s p.o.v.}

 

Elydir was barely holding herself. The Valar were testing her patience, there was no other explanation for this. After everything that she said last night, he ignored her words completely. “Accepted” she murmured bitterly. An apology of no use, since Ely was still mad at him.  
“Your reputation is at stake here. And I simply want you happy and with less problems from the court. Above all, their complains can drive me crazy, if they start complaining about you, I’ll go crazy” he added.  
The knight rolled her eyes. “As you wish . And try not to fill your mind with thoughts, we need to be concentrated” she murmured and walked away, without asking permission or being excused. She knew it was a simple thing to happen and yet, she was very upset to speak calmly. Thranduil probably noticed that. Good. She wanted him to notice.

 

~*~

 

{Thranduil’s p.o.v.}

 

As planned, the garbage cart was about to go. Night has come and the stars shined brightly, making the night sky look like they were dancing and celebrating. But they had little time to enjoy their beauty. The plan had to be executed perfectly.  
Thranduil, now changed in simpler clothes, climbed on the cart, where two blankets were placed under the trash. He easily slipped under them, the noise not really noticed as the cart started moving again.  
He cursed. This was ridiculous; no king had ever done anything like this to leave his own kingdom. He found it pointless, but at the same time, he knew it was absolutely effective.

Elydir was waiting at the place where Thranduil was supposed to get out of the cart. The king groaned and the cart moved, finally leaving the palace. Sometime later, a hand raised the blanket. “Come” Elydir said, a horse already waiting for him. She thanked the driver and paid him, as Thranduil got out and dusted off his clothes.  
“A bath is waiting for you, along with new clothes. Now come, this way. We cannot use the main road, in case a patrol spots us” she said and both rode to the house through the woods.  
The king was silent, but also enjoying the forest. He liked the sounds and smells of it, the soft song of the trees, and the wind against his skin. Walking under the stars was marvelous, he had forgotten how it felt. It was so refreshing, as if he was able to take a deep breath after so long.  
“I’ve missed that” he said and hummed softly. “At least, I’ll get some time off my duties. I haven’t done this since our honeymoon with Amelia” he mused, happy memories of his late wife passing from his mind for a moment.

 

{Elydir’s p.o.v.}

 

Ely always felt the mention of the Elvenqueen a subject too heavy to talk for a long time. “I remember her” she said as they rode. “Always so kind to me. Beautiful, the most beautiful *elleth I know of. Heavenly voice. She told me to become a singer and not a knight, to let boys play with swords and go play a harp” she said and chuckled in the blur memory.  
Thranduil chuckled. “And you replied ‘if harp is a kind of sword, I will’” he said and both laughed softly.  
She looked at him for a moment. “I miss her. I could use a mother’s guidance now. And I’d also like to see you with someone. Not so alone and so.. Isolated to yourself”  
“I don’t consider myself isolated, dear knight. I have my family and after a long time, all of it. I got used to my life, Ely. I would sail to find her, yes, but I am not ready to. And I’m happy here. As happy as I can be” he said, looking ahead.  
“You could be a happier person” Elydir said and smiled softly. “Starting from your manners” she added and he eyed her.  
“I’m still your king” he pointed out.  
“No, you are my guest now. And my friend. Both give me the chance to speak my mind openly, which means I will tell you my thoughts without holding back. Sorry” she said and he laughed softly.  
“Eru help me, my Knight’s wrath will kill me” he joked and she giggled at such statement.  
“No. Not wrath, be sure of it” she reassured him.

 

Soon, they reached the house. Dismounting, they let the horses in the stables and walked inside, Sellion already waiting for them and -as always- reading something. He smiled and stood when the door opened. “Welcome, welcome. You had come again, Thranduil, you know the house but Ely, do show the king around a bit. His bath is ready as well” he said warmly.  
“Thank you, *mellon nin. Your help is precious to me, as your friendship has always been” he said and Sellion waved him off, with a smile.  
As asked, Elydir led Thranduil to her room and let him clean himself and get some rest. She went to the guest room, which was more of a study of hers and sat on her desk. She rubbed her face, before Sellion brought her a cup of tea. “I thought you could use some tea”

She smiled sweetly at him. “Ah, thank you, uncle. I do need it” she said, taking a sip.  
“About this morning” he started. “This lord you were talking with. Do you.. like him?” the bearded elf asked. “I’m rather awful in these conversations -you know that- but I want to make sure this is something you want and not something he pulls you into”

 

She took a deep breath and walked to him, embracing him. “Cadeyrn is someone I still don’t fully trust and yet.. He gives me hope, somehow. I feel as if he truly cares for me. And my instincts tell me he has no ill intentions. Isn’t it time for me to try and.. cover this need for love that I have?” she asked softly.  
The older elf sighed and held her close, gently rubbing her back. “You should, my little bird. But are you sure your heart desires Cadeyrn? Cause my eyes see other things..” his voice faded, letting all sort of things float in the air.

She pulled back to look at him. He knew. Of course he knew, he was one of the few people he could read her like an open book. She looked down, ashamed.  
Placing a finger under her chin, he raised her head so he could look in the golden eyes he loved and yet, he saw their color darker. Sadder. “He could be your father. He raised you, as I did. And I cannot approve of someone that old for you. Your own father wouldn’t, he would’ve sent you away in fear you’d get hurt” he said and she nodded, tears filling her eyes. “But I’m not Aegon. I see you as my own child, Ely and I have only you in this world. So, if the king we serve is one you love, I will be happy to see you with him”

 

She shook her head, a single tear escaping. “He doesn’t.. He can’t see me like this” she whispered, voice too broken. “And I cannot wait for him forever. Nor can I go and tell him how I feel. Perhaps Cadeyrn can help me forget. I want to forget, uncle. But every time he touches me, even my hand, I feel my knees weak. He looks at me and I feel so exposed. And when he’s caring… I can’t help but want him in my life more than a king to follow and a man to admire. But this is my side. Only mine” she said and rested her head on his chest.  
Sighing again, Sellion could now see how much pain she truly hid underneath her usual smile. “How long?” he asked softly, kissing the top of her head.  
“Since the Battle of the Five Armies” she whispered. It was almost 500 years back.  
“Oh child, my sweet and unlucky child. All misfortunes of the world hit you as if they are waves of the ocean and you’re a simple rock” he said and pulled her to sit next to him, in a couch that was where the broken bed used to be. She curled in a ball, in his arms, as if she was an elfling all along. And then she cried. Silently, she let the pain ran on her cheeks like raindrops on a tree’s leaves, in the early days of autumn.

 

Sellion waited. Ely had grown up to be one of the strongest and most caring people in his life and he was always proud for her. But she was sensitive, underneath her cover. And this, now, was her breaking into pieces because no matter how strong a rock could be, waves always manage to break them. Little by little, hit by bit, the strongest of all rocks break even from the ocean’s gentlest waves.

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * elleth = woman  
> * mellon nin = my friend


	6. Why can't he be sleeping?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day passes, with Elydir facing her body’s needs, while something is awakening inside Thranduil. He’s not sure what yet, or to be fair, he doesn't wish to admit what it truly is..
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains NSFW content.

Elydir opened her eyes, seeing her study but something white on her right. She took the paper that was stuck on the side of her face and groaned. She fell asleep on the desk again. She stretched, pain hitting her from every part of her body. Good, at least this was better than the floor or the old couch in the room.  
After the emotional moment with her uncle the previous night, she had tried to work as much as possible. It proved to be a good distraction, but as dawn was closing in, she felt more and more tired. She had slept for.. three hours?

She looked around and wondered why her back hurt so terribly much. It wasn’t the first time she had fallen asleep on her desk, this pain was ridiculously strong. Then a dark, red spot on her leggings made her groan; frustrated as she was, she slipped in her chambers, where Thranduil was still sleeping. Taking new clothes, she slipped in the bathroom and took a shower to clean herself.  
Ladies days with Thranduil in the same house.  
Terribly nice.

 

She enjoyed her relaxing shower only to notice she left the clothes she took on the chair outside the bathroom. She had placed them there to get new towels and forgot them. “Sweet Lorien, make him sleep for another hour” she whispered, praying he was still sleeping.  
And he wasn’t. With dark locks, wet and long until her waist and a white towel, barely covering her body, she stepped outside silently. But in her good luck, this was the exact time a topless Thranduil was opening the bathroom door. Both froze and examined each other for a moment.  
“Uh…” Thranduil started, having no idea what to say.

Elydir bit her bottom lip. “Told you I’d have to use the bathroom. I forgot my clothes outside” she said, cheeks red as a berries.  
Feeling terribly uncomfortable, she quickly took her clothes. “I’m s- sorry, I’ll change in my room” she said and almost ran in the study, behind the folding screen with three parts that were decorated with curly patterns.  
She needed a moment to get everything ready, as the first day of her period meant a lot of blood.

 

{Thranduil’s p.o.v.}

 

The Elvenking felt something stir inside him. The sight of his knight was… beautiful. He couldn’t take his eyes from the small, yet delicate body that was wrapped in a towel. White. The color that fitted her better than any other. The drops running on her skin, the wet hair sticking on her neck and forehead. Thoughts he hadn’t had for a very long time appeared in his mind. But this wasn’t right. He knew this girl since she was born, to feel attracted to her was impossible. Unacceptable.

Yet, his neck was dry and his hands longed to feel her skin. To ran his fingers through her hair. In a single second, his eyes showed him images he wanted so badly to make them true: his body trapping hers against a wall, his lips and tongue tasting her neck, that little towel off and her legs wrapped around his waist…  
“Dear Eru..” he whispered. It was morning and, as it was expected, a certain part of his body was… Awake. He needed to cross his hands to cover his arousal that was not just from the morning, but also from the *elleth right in front of him. Elydir was right, she was not a girl anymore but a woman. And a very, very beautiful one.

 

Thranduil almost ran in the bathroom, the moment she left. He needed a cold shower to relax and get rid of the inappropriate thoughts. But even that didn’t help at all. Turning the water to a warm temperature, he decided to let go of all this thoughts in the most effective way.  
Gently wrapping his palm around his length, he started stroking and panting as his hand moved faster and faster. The water helped. But his mind didn’t.

 _She was on the bed, underneath him. Chocolate brown hair spread around the white sheets, golden eyes as bright as melted gold. A body small and yet perfect, with smooth skin and pale color. She tasted like iron and rain and berries. Her voice was enchanting, her taste intoxicating. He felt her hands in his hair as he thrusted and thrusted again._  
_His name left from her lips as a moan, which drove him crazy. More, more, more. That’s what he needed. More of her, more of everything he was feeling. In his mind, his knight was moaning as they became one in the most beautiful way. She asked for more. He needed more. _  
Soon, a moan left his lips and his head touched the wall behind him. He spent himself in his palm, panting and not wishing to leave this fantasy end. The ecstasy was mind blowing, the tension felt so amazing. _Refreshing_. His eyes opened only to see that she was not with her. He was in the shower, by himself.__

____

__

____

Once he was clean, he went back to bed, where he stayed for another hour. Not only to relax from such a vivid fantasy, but also to think. This wasn’t right. He shouldn’t have such thoughts for the girl that was like a daughter to him. He simply had a long time to share his bed with someone and that made his hormones crazy. That was it, his body simply rebelled. Nothing more…

 

~*~

 

{Elydir’s p.o.v.}

 

“Come in” Elydir said softly, buried in papers. The king walked in and took a seat on the armchair in front of her desk. “Anything I can do for you, Thranduil?”  
“No, I simply wanted to help, if you need anything. Sellion left, he said you will stay here because you are supposed to be sick” he replied, trying to sound as casual as possible.  
She hummed. “And guess what I am” she murmured, more to herself than him.  
He frowned. “Are you sick?” he asked and she looked at him, before smiling.  
“No, I’m healthy as I can be. I simply need more rest, my night was… short” she replied and returned to the report she was writing.  
The king looked around, examining the room. Where there should be a bed, was a couch. Apart from that, a small fireplace and many chests and bookcases. “Are all these yours?”

“No, many things are ada’s. Were his, anyway” she said and pointed at a bookcase. “All these are his journals. Then some of his favorite books. And in the chest next to it, are all my mother’s journals. The few she had, at least” she said and dipped her quill in the ink, before continuing to write. She closed her eyes and her entire body clenched. Cramps. Not now.  
“Ely?” he asked and leaned on the desk. “What is it? Are you alright?” he asked and she nodded.

 

“Fine.. Just cramps, that’s all. N- Nothing I’m not handling every month” she said and sighed softly, shaking a bit. The pain was indeed unusually strong today.  
The king needed a moment to understand what short of cramps she meant, before his eyes widen and he pulled back. “Oh.. Lady matters” he said and cleared his throat and swallowing. “Anything I can do to help?”  
“Yes” she said and he smiled. “Be quiet” she added and her smile faded in an instant, before taking her quill and returning to her reports.  
Rolling his eyes, he took a book and started reading, trying to kill some of his spare time. Soon, though, he wanted to talk again. He knew he would annoy her, but why not?  
“I don’t think it’s only your lady matters that make you this grumpy today. Nor a short night” he said and she ignored him. He hummed. “Tell me something.. Are you still mad at me? For Cadeyrn, I mean?”

“Yep” she replied casually, eyes on the paper. She let the quill down, letting this ink dry. “I am, because where I see an opportunity, you only see danger”  
“I only want to protect you-“  
“I don’t need protection” she snapped, but relaxed again. “My apologies, that was rude. I’m only saying that.. I don’t want your approval, Thranduil. I am not a girl anymore, I am a woman. And one that gets older and older as time passes. And to be fair, I don’t need you as a father anymore. I will always respect and admire you and love you as family, but I need you more as my friend. A close friend. Can you be that and not a father?”

 

She knew this was not a nice thing to say and it was a lot to ask. He had helped her a lot, throughout every difficulty in her life. But this is what she really wanted. Well, not what she really wanted, but the best she could ask from him at the moment.  
Blue eyes examined hers carefully. “You’re not speaking your mind fully” he said, not ignoring her words, but feeling as if there was more she wanted to say.  
“I only want people around me to support me. Not judge my life choices. Cadeyrn might be a mistake, but haven’t I done mistakes already? I learn from them, we all do. I am sick and tired of waking up every morning in a cold bed and really don’t want that for the rest of my days”

Thranduil resisted the urge to smirk in her words. He had realized, in his own way, how the girl he loved as a daughter was now a woman. But still, he did not agree with her way of thinking and part of him didn’t know why exactly. Her words made perfect sense.  
“I will help you with anything you need..” he started, Elydir raising an eyebrow in the sudden change of heart. “..but he is not what he seems to be. He is not who he shows, Ely. Even you have to admit there’s something wrong with him. Something not fitting the image he’s trying to show”

In that, she looked down. That was the reason she couldn’t trust the man. “Can we not discuss this further?”  
“If you’re not willing to speak what your heart wants to say..” he said and shrugged.  
“If I do so, I will regret it. Both of us will” she said and ran her hands through her hair. Thranduil flinched. Not just from the surprise of her reply –so there was indeed something she wasn’t telling him- but also the way this simple movement made his stomach stir. The thoughts he has in the shower returned and the king crossed his legs.  
“I’ll let you work, then. Excuse me” he said and stood, calmly leaving the room. The knight felt a bit confused by the sudden exit, but thought he simply didn’t wish to stop this conversation so he left. Either way, she continued her work.

 

~*~

 

The night came and Legolas and Tauriel, along with Gimli came by the House of the Silver Sword. Both to bring more of Thranduil’s things –clothes and everything he needed- but also to inform of the current situation of the palace. Word of the king’s abduction was spread and the meeting in two days would show the first alliances between members of the court.  
As the three guests left, all went to rest. Ely was to rest on the bedroll in the guest room, which she absolutely hated right now. Not only because of the pain that had spread throughout her entire body, but also -to her surprise- the couch was too small for her to sleep on. She groaned and shivered, as she lied down, a blanket on top of her.

The king had forgotten the book he was reading and he couldn’t sleep, so he walked to Ely’s study, thinking it would be empty. He frowned, finding her on a bedroll on the floor. “You have to be joking” he said and she turned to look as she heard a voice. “This is where you sleep?”  
With a sigh, she sat up and nodded. “Uncle offered to help, but I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable. And you’re a king. You are raised in luxury, I couldn’t give you any less than just that” she said and yawned.

Rolling his eyes, he walked to her and with a quick move, he swept her in his arms. “I am on my own on a huge bed so you can sleep in a bedroll. I think not, lady”  
Ely gasped as she was suddenly in his arms and tried to get down. “Forget it, you’re not supposed to share your bed. Especially with me!” she protested –deep inside loving the idea- and he groaned in response, throwing her over his shoulder.  
“Elydir, stop being a child. You’re sleeping with me, this is an order” she said and she whined, trying to free herself. She was in pain to do more than whine and too tired to really fight to escape.  
He placed her on the bed and pulled the covers on her. “See? Terrible. What will people say, if they knew?” he joked with a dramatic voice and lied on the other side.

 

She huffed. “You’re not a king here, you’re my guest. Guests don’t share rooms with their hosts, you know”  
“Elydir, I swear..” he started, but stopped, seeing her pained expression. He noticed her hands were on her stomach and gently took them away. “Don’t apply extra weight” he said, his voice turning to a sweet and caring voice.  
Under the blanket, he placed his hand just above her underwear. Of course, she was wearing a nightgown, but it was thin. She bit her lip and pushed his hand away. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Let me help you” he said, placing his hands there again. He massaged the place with fingers softly working on her. At first, ghosting over her thin dress, but then gently applying more and more pressure. He was not causing her any pain, but the slow and circular motions were so relaxing.  
The pain soon faded and Elydir left a soft purr, which made him smile. Seeing her relaxed and with eyes half closed, he took his hand away. “How on earth..”  
He chuckled, relaxing on his pillow. “Amelia was in terrible pains the first two days of her period and I was always happy to help. Also works with pregnancies and with bad moods. It always put a smile on her lips, I thought it might do the same for you” he said and she smiled.

 

“Thank you. Sorry I’m being rude to you” Elydir said softly. “You get to see me at home and in my bad days, it’s really bad... I try to cover it in the palace but the real hero here is my uncle, that always tries to make me feel better. And suffers my wrath” she said softly.  
“You’re not doing the best job in the world, then. We know when you’re in your days, at least Legolas and I. You always try to be fast and don’t like to negotiate over anything” he commented.

She blushed. “Well, it’s even worse when I’m home” she said and took his hand under the covers. Lacing their fingers together. A bold move, but in the sweet sensation of the massage she just had received and the sleep that threatened to make her eyes close, she didn’t care. “Thank you for being here. And helping me”  
He smiled and kissed the back of her hand. “You’re very welcome. Sleep” he whispered and she closed her eyes, easily falling asleep. Her hand held his until he fell asleep as well.

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * elleth = woman


	7. I don't sing in public

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elydir meets Cadeyrn and she sings to him and others, while Thranduil gets to know what the people think of him and his knight. The White Knight makes a choice, at last.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were a few paragraphs of Thranduil's p.o.v. mixed with Elydir's, but I really couldn't stop and create a new section for a small paragraph, simply to express Thranduil's side.  
> Sorry it's messed up. :S

The next morning, the sun entered the room and fell on her face, which irritated Elydir in her sleep. She simply turned around and buried her face in someone’s hair. There was a strange warmth, an unknown sensation of… Safety. She really liked it, but she was once more in pain. She whined softly, but only held closer to the warm body next to her.

 

Thranduil, in his sleep, pulled her close, his arms closing tightly around her. He kissed her hair, part of him knowing something wasn’t right. Amelia was fitting in his arms a bit differently. Not that perfectly. This body was smaller, warmer. The hair he kissed was soft, but not as soft as hers. The smell was different. Vanilla. Amelia smelled like jasmine.

He opened one eye, only to sigh softly and close it again. She was not her. His heart felt heavy in the realization. But the warmth of this new presence in his arms was not that bad. He relaxed and fell asleep again.

 

It was a knock on the door that woke her up. She found herself buried in Thranduil’s arms, which was a dream coming true. But a second knock made her sit up. As gently as possible, she took the first thing she found to wear and ran downstairs to answer the door..  
She opened the door, only to see Cadeyrn. “Cad..” her voice spoke in relief, but also came out as a gasp.  
“Did I wake you? I’m sorry. I brought you some soup and hoped to have breakfast together. I see you’re better already. And… You wear the king’s robe?”

She looked down and saw what she had taken from the bedroom. “Yeah, I.. Uh, he knows how much I love his robe. It’s warm and long and when he walks, it looks so charming. So he made me one as a present” she said, trying to look convincing.  
“Oh, my manners!” she murmured and stepped back. “Come, sit. I’ll go get dressed and perhaps we can take a walk in the city. I can’t stay in bed, I want to walk a bit” she said and he smiled, getting in.

It was the first time he was in this house so he looked around curiously. As he walked in the door, there was a small hall, where a door on the left lead to the kitchen and the staircase on the right led to second floor. The living room was straight ahead, with a fireplace and couches around it, on the left side of the room. On the right side, there was a long table and on the wall straight ahead was a glass door,that lead to the garden.

 

“I’ll need a moment to get ready. I- I can make you tea, if you want” she said and he walked to her, fixing the robe so it would cover her body a bit better.  
“I’ll wait, my lady. I am simply happy to see you well. Your uncle told me you were very sick and I was worried. I had to make sure you were alright” he said, stroking her cheek tenderly.  
Thankfully, she was warm from the bed. He leaned close and kissed her forehead, making her eyes close. This was definitely the best kiss she had, so far. “You’re warm. But I guess your friend, lord Elrond, had given you something to heal faster”  
Her eyes opened. “How do you know he’s my friend?” she asked, resting her arms on his chest, without realizing it.

His arms closed around her shoulders and he pulled her close. “Didn’t you spend some years in Imladris with him? And every time he comes, he embraces you. You are clearly friends, such an act of.. closeness shows that he cares for you”  
She smiled. “He’s the lord of a kingdom where people like me live. Half Elves and half Men. He helped me a lot, that is true. He’s a friend and a man I highly admire”

 

Thranduil had woken up with all the noise and he carefully eavesdropped from the top of the stairs. Carefully looking, he saw the elf lord holding her close and his fists clenched. Cadeyrn held her, when a moment earlier, he was holding her in his arms. He was tempted to go down, but knowing Elydir would be angry with him, he returned to the bed. There was a plan that needed to be executed and his presence there should remain unknown.

 

“Sick or not, my lady is stunning, as always. Even if she’s warmer and her cheeks are redder than usual” Cadeyrn smiled at her.  
Elydir smiled as Cadeyrn complimented her. “I don’t see myself as beautiful, Cad. You might have a problem with your eyesight” she teased, making him chuckled.  
“I’ll find a way to make you see it then” he said and leaned close. For a moment, Elydir leaned close as well. His hot breath that she felt on her lips was something that made her happy. She wanted to kiss that man. But…  
She gently stopped him. “I’m still sick, remember?” she whispered and kissed his cheek, before pulling back. “I’ll be back in a moment”

With that, she left, running upstairs and entering the room. She leaned behind the door, leaving a sigh, before raising her gaze to find Thranduil sleeping. Thank the Valar he was still asleep. She got her clothes and her short blade, that she hid on the top of her thigh with a leather scabbard. Dressed in teal, as usual, she wore a tunic long as a dress and with black details and dark leggings. She let her hair down and only pulled a few locks up in two thin piggy tails so they wouldn’t fall in her eyes. Once ready, she was about to leave, but looked back at the sleeping king one last time. She sighed.

She sat on the bed and leaned to whisper in his ear, but for a moment, she felt so confused. How was it possible that a minute ago, she wanted to kiss Cadeyrn and now she wanted to kiss him? She resisted the urge and whispered in his ear. “I’ll be back shortly, my king”  
She pulled back and pressed a very gentle kiss on his cheek, before taking her coat and exiting the room.

 

Thranduil opened his eyes, once the door closed and placed his fingers over the spot the kiss was placed. He sighed as well. Something was changing inside him and he didn’t know if he really wanted to change.

 

~*~

 

The elf lord happily chatted with her, as they walked in the streets of the realm. Many people greeted her and she smiled kindly to all. Others looked at her with sour expressions, as usual. They stopped in a fountain in a square, where a few elflings were playing happily, others were passing and others simply took a moment to rest. The statue of the fountain was magnificent. An angel had his wings open on the top of it and water ran softly, making the knight relax under the soft sound of it.  
A group of musicians came and took their instruments out, getting ready to perform.

Cadeyrn smiled. “A little bird told me you love to sing” he said and she looked at him confused, which made him chuckle. “Prince Legolas mentioned it to someone and I happen to pass by and hear it. Why don’t you sing with them?”  
A light blush came to her cheeks. “I really shouldn’t. I mean, I’m not good and I wouldn’t..” she said kindly but the musicians overheard the couple’s conversation.  
“You’re welcome to sing with us, lady Elydir” the harpist said and the elflings ran to them, with excited faces. “Please, please, please” they all said, making her chuckle. They were so sweet. Most of them were elflings from the orphanage which she visited weekly and offered part of her salary every month. She could not resist such cute faces.  
“Alright, little ones, alright” she said and took one in her arms, kissing his cheek. “But only one song”  
“The one with the dragon!” the boy said and chuckled, before running with the rest of his friends.

 

She sighed. “This is your entirely fault” she said at Cadeyrn, making him chuckle. Eyes turned to look at her, the musicians ready. A guitarist sat closer to her, smiling.  
The lady took a deep breath, before starting to sing.

_Oh, misty eye of the mountain below_  
_Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls_  
_And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke_  
_Keep watching over Durin's sons_

The guitarist began to hit the chords, as the words left the lady’s lips. More and more people joined her, silently voices joining hers. The song was soft, filled with emotion. And the children ran to their parents, who listened with soft smiles.

_If this is to end in fire_  
_Then we should all burn together_  
_Watch the flames climb high into the night_  
_Calling out father, oh_  
_Stand by and we will_  
_Watch the flames burn auburn on_  
_The mountain side_

The rest of the musicians started joining in as well. Others sat close, others stood and others simply listened, continuing their job.

The story of her friends, of the Company’s adventures, meant the world to Elydir. Due to a heated fight with Thranduil, heavy words were exchanged and the knight has decided to leave the realm permanently. Gandalf the Grey happen to pass by and asked her to follow him on his new adventure. Elydir agreed, unaware she would meet a person that would change her life forever.  
And then he was gone. Thranduil took her back to the realm, giving her a full pardon for her absence and going against his will. After all, it was his fault Elydir had come so close to death after the Battle of the Five Armies. She needed months to rcover. And so time passed, the pain slowly faded. But this song still brought pain to her, after all these years.

 

{Thranduil’s p.o.v.}

 

Thranduil had gotten ready and took a long cloak, in dark green color. He followed them and got in the crowd. Elydir had sung many times in the palace, either in her chambers or the gardens, rarely in feasts. Still, he hadn’t noticed how beautiful her voice was or how much this song meant to her.

A lady, old and yet smiling at the song, looked up at Thranduil. “New in Mirkwood, my child?” she asked and he nodded. He should remain incognito, he thought.  
“I have heard stories of this place. Is this the White Knight?” he asked, wanting to see the opinion people had for her. He let his voice grow heavier, in an attempt not to be recognized.  
“She is indeed, her name is Elydir. Our voice to the king, a kind and caring lady. And beautiful, as well. We are lucky to have her, my child. Very lucky”

“But I thought she is half human. I thought your people don’t like this” Thranduil spoke, looking at the woman. She couldn’t see his face, as his hood was long and covering him perfectly.  
She placed a hand on his shoulder. “We don’t care about these things, young man, not all of us at least. We have Noldor and Men and many other races here, we all live together in peace. She is respecting every one of us, even those that don’t like her. She had worked for our rights, she keeps us safe with her guard” she looked at Elydir, who was singing.

 

“And what about the Elvenking?” he asked, looking towards at the woman.  
“Thranduil has a kind heart and he means well. But he thinks a celebration once in a while is enough to keep us happy. Look at that. People are singing in the streets, they work together, they live in peace. We don’t need all the trade he thinks we need, all this hard work. We can survive as we did years back, with lesser things. We will always survive”  
He hummed. “Still, he cares for everyone” he said softly, letting the woman lean against him. She was enjoying the music and the song and so did he.  
“He does, as his father did, Mandos rest his soul. But he has lost the connection he once had with us. Elydir keeps the balance. She represents us all. I could not think of a better queen than her” she said and Thranduil looked at her.  
“What about queen Amelia?” he asked, frowning under his hood. “Would you replace her?”  
“She’s gone, my child, too many years now. We need someone with Thranduil, not for us but for him. Poor man, still mourning her. Let’s just hope he did not leave to find her already” she said and looked at him.

 

_And I see fire_  
_Oh you know I saw a city burning out_  
_And I see fire_  
_Feel the heat upon my skin, yeah_  
_And I see fire, oh_  
_And I see fire burn auburn on the mountain side_

The song was making everyone take part in it, growing passionate and cheerful. People sang, many of them and Elydir sang the last words, before a thunderous applause. She buried her face in Cadeyrn’s neck, who laughed and hugged her tightly. She was red as a tomato!  
Thranduil gently freed his hand from the lady’s grip. “And where are you from, my child?”  
“Doriath, my lady. I am from Doriath” he said softly and walked away.

 

~*~

 

{Elydir’s p.o.v.}

 

Cadeyrn took Elydir’s hand, locking their fingers together. “I love your voice” he said and kissed the back of her hand, making her smile shyly. “But most of all, I love how close you are with them. How… human of you. And I say it in a good way. They would die for you, as you would do for them” he said, looking around. “Well, most of them, at least’  
“Thank you, Cad. No one ever said something that kind to me. They all see a weakness. All those that consider themselves royalty. What makes them more important than these people? They are working harder and should be treated better” she said and looked at him.

He chuckled. “So strongly supporting that opinion. I fear the day you’ll have a husband. He’ll have to agree with everything you say, if you defend your thoughts as passionately as you do this one”  
She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “That wouldn’t be fun, though. The point is to disagree, to talk and exchange opinions. And fights are said to be healthy every now and then” she said and shrugged.  
“Hm, so I’ll have to fight you whenever I don’t agree with something?” he asked and suddenly pulled her in his arms.  
She left a soft gasp, which made him chuckled again. “And what makes you think we will argue whenever you don’t agree with me? Are you planning to marry me?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
“Maybe” he hummed and rested his forehead on hers. “Maybe I really do. Maybe I want to see you every night I close my eyes and every morning I open them. Maybe.. Maybe I want to kiss you” he said softly, his dark blue eyes shining.

 

She swallowed, looking into his eyes; her breathing was faster already, her heart beating faster as well. They were in small, open area of the kingdom, where a small waterfall made the place so peaceful. “Maybe I’m scared to marry. To be with someone forever. Maybe I fear I’ll disappoint whoever’s by my side” she said softly.  
He hummed. “I don’t think so. I mean, couples face everything together. So, even if you fail, I will fail with you. If we hypothetically agree I’ll be by your side” he said and stroked her cheek, thing he seemed to like doing.  
“Cadeyrn.. I think we plan a bit faster than needed” she said and leaned against his soft touch. “Let’s stop planning and start doing” she whispered.

They both leaned closer. They both wanted it so terribly much. But none could imagine that a whole patrol would come and interrupt them.  
“Commander” the head of the patrol said, making Elydir pull back suddenly.  
“What is it, Colonel?” she asked and gave an apologetic look to the elf lord. Cadeyrn sighed.  
“A man came and told us you were in trouble. Dark green cloak, heavy accent. Probably a Man” he reported.  
She sighed and smiled. “I’m afraid I’m in no danger. I simply felt sick today and lord Cadeyrn was kind enough to walk with me, so I can have some fresh air. I will return to rest and tomorrow I’ll return to my post. It was probably a joke; fear not, Colonel”

 

He looked at the elf lord and nodded. “Rest well, my lady” he said and the patrol left.  
She sighed and walked back to him. “I’m sorry. It’s like someone really doesn’t want this to happen” she said. She had a wild suspicion of someone behind this interruption.  
Cadeyrn took her hand and pulled her close again. “But we do” he said softly. 

Looking deeply in her eyes, he leaned close, meeting her lips with his. Elydir closed her eyes. Her arms wrapped around his neck and pressed her body against his, as he wrapped his own around her waist. Their lips moved, shyly at first, but deeply once they let themselves get lost in the kiss.  
Her heart was beating fast and her mind was filled with nothing but him. Only him. Cadeyrn somehow made her feel all those feelings she wished she could feel with another. She felt so weak. She felt _his _. She felt… Amazing.__

____

____

 

Thranduil, spying from a corner, looked down. _Failed_. He failed to stop them. He should have just let it happen, he had no right to interfere in their relationship. He just felt like he needed to fight. Though the pain of the sight the couple made showed his defeat clearly.

 

As their lips parted, they rested their foreheads together, eyes closed and both panting softly. “I wanted this for so long. So badly” he breathed and pecked her lips once more.

“I wanted this too. I’m happy it finally happened” she replied. And mentally, the choice she couldn’t do was already made. Between Cadeyrn and Thranduil, Cadeyrn was worth her heart. More than her king.

 

~*~


	8. What does the wind tell you to do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting takes place, but nothing comes to the light yet. Elydir is put to speak to Thranduil, but she is not ready yet. She seeks guidance to her parents’ grave.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

Cadeyrn escorted Elydir back to her house; with a loving kiss, he let her go and rest and took his own way back to the realm. With red cheeks and biting her bottom lip, she closed the front door and leaned her back on it. A happy sigh left her lips and she chuckled. This was crazy. Feelings she never had before were simply filling her with such happiness, her heartbeats still fast and his taste still against her lips.

She walked to the kitchen to get a cup of water, only to see a figure in the backyard as she walked. Taking the cup and walking towards the backyard’s door, she saw her king sitting on the table and enjoying the view of the forest and many flowers that Sellion had planted.  
Part of her was certain he was responsible for the attempt to sabotage her kiss with Cadeyrn, but part of her was still unsure. After all, how could he had managed to leave the house, sneak inside undetected and notify the guards with the fake excuse? Hm, this sounded ridiculous enough for her king to even consider doing it. She walked out and took a seat next to him, not speaking a word.

 

Thranduil took a deep breath –which Ely noticed he did- as she sat next to him. He sipped his tea and remained silent for another moment, which made Ely raise an eyebrow. “All well in your day?” he asked, a voice soft.  
The knight felt guilt making her heart heavy but didn’t know why. She did nothing wrong. She has made her decision and was happy with it. Why was there guilt inside her?

“I… I was out with Cadeyrn. We had fun in the town square and then walked a bit. My apologies, I should’ve told you I was leaving”  
“You did” he said and avoided eye contact. “Fear not, Elydir, I can take care of myself. In fact, I cooked dinner. Your uncle hasn’t come yet. But you will excuse me, I am not hungry. Eat and rest for a while. You must still be in pain” he said and got up to leave.  
Confused and still wrapped in this strange aura of guilt, Ely sat there for a while. Thranduil was acting weird. He wasn’t cold with her, nor angry or annoyed. It was as if he was disappointed. Was that what this is all about? He’s disappointed with her choice of Cad? Thinking she deserved more?  
Sighing, she rubbed her face. He was right, she was still in pain. Surprised to find a full mean cooked –and delicious as well- she ate and went to her room to sleep. The king had taken her place in her study doing paperwork in silence.

 

~*~

 

The next days were a mixture of avoiding each other’s eyes and exchanging the absolutely necessary words. Other than that, Thranduil was drowning in sorrow, while Ely was both happy and guilty. This was a mess.  
It was another morning, two weeks after the king’s disappearance that she and Legolas were leading the meeting in the council halls.  
“But my lord” an elf lord said and interrupted another one. “This is not the way we operate under these circumstances!”  
A small fight was taking place between members of the council and Elydir sighed, poking at Legolas’ arm with a tired expression. “I have no courage to stop them” she said softly, almost desperately.

The prince sighed and rubbed his face. This has been going for quite a while, disagreeing but in the end of the day, doing notihng but sending out patrols in the forest or the city. Legolas suddenly stood and slammed his hands on the table, with a loud bang. “Enough!” he yelled, making everyone stop. Even the White Knight sat up a bit.

 

“This is the king you speak of! One we still try to find and will continue to do so. Whoever disagrees may as well resign and continue their lives away from this council, but as long as there is hope in my heart, I will not stop looking for him! Whoever thinks he has the right to ‘advice’ me to do otherwise is simply trying to gain something from me and the crown”  
The knight kicked his leg gently under the table. “My prince” she said, standing. “You know my heart lies with you as with our king, but we need to stay calm. We need to hope. All of us here want to find your father, we all serve him loyally. No one wishes for any harm to find him out there”

“The White Knight is right” Cadeyrn agreed, winking at the knight the moment people weren’t looking at him. Elydir had to try her best not to smirk.  
“And so do I” a lady of the court said, one she didn’t know too well. Lady Erwarth was Cadeyrn’s aunt and mentor, a woman he spoke often about the last days that they were coming closer. Erwarth had practically raised him, as he didn’t have the best relationship with his parents. They eventually sailed and let him live under his aunt’s wing.

 

Elydir nodded at the lady’s support and slowly, more and more seemed to agree. “I believe this meeting should come to an end. Same time tomorrow, my lords and ladies” she said and the people slowly began to leave, until only Tauriel and Sellion stayed with the other two.  
“You’re a really good actor” the captain of the guard said, making the prince chuckle.  
“I simply pretend I really lost my father. Then I remember where he is and I relax again” he said and shrugged. “Trust me, if he was really gone, I would be like this all the time”

Sellion hummed. “Still, we have spotted most of the alliances or the people that want to be closer to the throne. I can’t see a way to find the one responsible for the attack or those that want you and your father gone”  
“We will need more time, my lord” Legolas said and he nodded. All looked at Elydir. She blushed deeply and sighed.  
“I don’t mind him staying in our house for longer, I just… I think he knows of Cadeyrn and I and this makes him sad” she murmured, looking at the wooden table in front of her.  
Tauriel hummed in thought. “Talk to him. Let him know that what you feel for him does not affect your duties”  
“I don’t think this is the problem. Let me talk to him” Sellion said, making her eyes widen. “He needs to know”

 

“N- No” she said, shaking her head vigorously. “Uncle, I am with someone. I- I can’t..”  
Legolas looked at Sellion. “What will you tell him?” the prince asked.  
“How she truly feels about him” he said and both shrugged.  
“Well, it’s about time, don’t you think?” Tauriel asked and Legolas nodded.  
“Wait, Tauriel knew but.. You?” Elydir asked and looked at the prince, who shrugged once more.

“Do you think it was hard for me to find out? I saw the way you look at him and how you look at him now. I know you well, my friend, your eyes betray you” he spoke and took her hand. “Even if you have feelings for someone, you need to tell him. To get over this part and move on to Cadeyrn, that is the next page of your life”  
She bit her bottom lip. She couldn’t speak the words. “No, this won’t happen” she said, pulling away and leaving the room. She ran. Just ran to the stables, took her horse and ran away in the forest. She needed to think. To visit her parents and seek guidance and help. Mostly help.

 

~*~

 

Letting Thrandraug rest and eat his grass in peace, the black horse knew his way around the Great Willow. Elydir’s parents were buried under the roots of a huge willow tree, that stood on the top of a small hill. She went there when she needed to think, it was her escape, her sanctuary. The place she was never alone, yet she was on her own.  
She sat between the two graves -one with a rusty sword and one with a marble statue of a woman. She sighed and talked her heart out, as she always did there.  
“…what I feel for Cadeyrn is something I haven’t felt before. Something that brings me happiness, I feel the two of us bond more and more, each hour we spend together. He’s funny and interesting and likes to take care of me. Who? Me! No one but my close people had ever taken care of me, it’s something I find myself to love. But…”

Her voice faded. “I wish this was Thranduil, not him. We talk and I wish I was talking with him. We kiss and I wish I was kissing him. He touches me and I wish with all my heart the soft touches were his” she admitted, her heart heavy with the guilt. Guilty that she was not truly returning Cadeyrn’s feelings. Guilt that she was making Thranduil sad.

 

She lied on the grass and looked up, the willow’s branches and the sky through them. She closed her eyes and let all thoughts leave her mind. As every time she was in doubt, she would relax under the willow, to sort her thoughts a bit. This time, she fell asleep.  
In her dreams, she heard a voice. Her mother’s voice, or at least what he remembered as a whisper. This was the only thing left from her parents, their voices and blur images of their faces, as she was a baby when they were killed.

_She saw herself in a meadow in the center of a clearing. Violets and daisies were making the green grass look as if it was a thick, soft carpet. She lied there and a woman lied next to her. One she could never see her face clearly._  
_“When you close your eyes, what do you see?” she woman asked._  
_“Darkness” she said and looked at her. “Emptiness. Loneliness… Nothing”_  
_The woman smiled and took her hand. “This is what you fear. Being on your own forever. Being alone on this earth until you either sail or fade”_  
_She nodded, tears filling her eyes. “I don’t want that” she said with a broken voice.”I really don’t want that” ___

____

_The woman sat up and opened her arms for her. Elydir stood as well and hugged her without a second thought, which felt surprisingly real. She buried her face in her hair, before looking behind her and trying to hold her tears. There, she saw two forms._  
_Gently pulling back, she stood, only to see Thranduil standing across Cadeyrn. The meadow was now darker, as if the sun was disappearing and the twilight was there to made them both look like marble statues_.

 

_She swallowed hard and walked to stand between them. Both looked at her, both extended a hand towards her direction. She looked at Cadeyrn first._  
_“You can’t trust me. You want to but you cannot. But I can love you and you can love me. You want to, you’re willing to try. I can win your trust. I can be with you forever” he spoke, a sweet smile on his lips._  
_She smiled and tilted her head a bit. She then looked at Thranduil._  
_“You can’t leave me. You want to but you cannot. But I will stay with you forever, no matter what. I will be your family. You can’t walk away from me. I saved your life and since then, since I told you how important you are to me; you love me. Part of you thinks I love you too. And maybe I do” he spoke, his voice sending chills on her spine._

_She looked at the one side; then the other. She couldn’t choose. She looked ahead, to see the woman again, which she could only assume it was her mother. “It doesn’t matter who you choose, little hawk. Your heart has made the choice. Your mind can control every part of you, but not that one” she said and kissed her forehead. “Listen to your wind. What does it sing to you?” ___

____

____

 

Her eyes opened and she sat up, returning to reality. This line was one her mother wrote in her journals often. She believed all answers were hidden in the wind; the song it shared with the world as it traveled.  
With a sigh, she got up. She cleaned the graves and took her horse. She had to speak to someone. To two people, actually.

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cadeyrn's aunt, Erwarth, is a new character that her name happens to mean "Lone Betrayer" in Sindarin.
> 
> Also Thrandraug is Elydir's horse, a large black stallion. His name means "wolf shield" as Sellion found the foal in the forest, that had survived a wolf attack. Then he trained her with his niece and since then, he's a trained and strong battle horse.


	9. Conversations in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil comes to a realization that shocks him, while Ely is still in her parents’ graves. The next day, the elf lord goes to his aunt, where many things are clear about him and then Ely and Cadeyrn talk.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself for this chapter. Also, I think I'm starting to see Cadeyrn as Adar Driver, in stead of the old face claim I mentioned in chapter four. :S

[[ _Meanwhile, in the House of the Silver Sword_ ]]

 

[Thranduil’s p.o.v.]

 

As Elydir spend her day to the Great Willow, Thranduil was in the garden, sitting on the small table. He left a long sigh and sipped his wine, already the bottle half empty. Sellion found the king in the garden, sitting on the table. He joined him silently.  
“Everything well, *mellon nin?” he asked, knowing the answer already.  
Thranduil looked at Sellion and nodded. “Perfectly fine” he replied and looked in his glass, the red liquid and the way it danced. “Elydir kissed Cadeyrn a few days ago” he added, a few moments later.  
The elf lord hummed. “I suppose you were somewhere near her and witnessed that. She wouldn’t easily tell you this herself, so I can only assume you saw them..” he spoke and the king nodded.  
“I am in no mood for a lecture, Sellion. I wanted to make sure that bastard is not manipulating her and I followed them. I was in disguise, fear not. I got to learn many things about Elydir and myself, in the process. The commoners are extremely talkative when they don’t know they’re talking to their king”

Sellion sighed. “Thranduil, I know you care for her. She loves you deeply and I know you love her too. But…” he took a deep breath. “I have to tell you something. You need to know, in order to understand why she does many of the things she does for you”  
The king turned to look at him, a soft frown breaking his perfect features. “You can tell me anything you want, I won’t say a word to her, if this is what you fear”

“I know. I also know she will kill me for that... But I am about to sail and I have to make sure she will be happy, before I leave” he said and looked at Thranduil.  
“She is in love with you. For a while now. Since the Battle of the Five Armies, to be precise. That’s when she realized you were not just a father to her, when you saved her and treated her so fairly and caringly. She refused to show anything or speak a word to you, because you’re her king and your son is like a brother to her. You are like a father to her. Although I’m sure she simply knew you don’t see her like this…”

 

Thranduil froze on his seat. Simply froze. His eyes stayed on the green grass, no sound came out of his parted lips for a very long moment. His mind was completely blank, before a storm of images and memories came to his mind. How could he be so blind? This explained not only a million things about her, but also many things about him.  
“…But you do see her like this, do you not?” Sellion added, finishing his words. He had noticed the change in the king’s behavior. His eyes caught little things his brother used to do when he fell in love. Little things even Sellion did when he was in love. And he was old enough to recognize a look as friendly, or more, or less than that.

The Elvenking closed his eyes. “It’s not right. She’s like a child to me. My best friend’s daughter, your brother’s heir. It’s not right” he spoke, the realization of his own feelings hitting him as hard as a stone landing on top of his head.  
Sellion hummed. “I will not disagree with these thoughts. But as I told her, if she is happy, then no one will stop her. Especially her father. Aegon was a man that for the happiness of his little girl, he would destroy kingdoms. If he could see her heart is yours, he would get used to the idea of you two together. Need time, of course, but eventually he would”

 

“Stop” Thranduil said, looking at him. “Just stop. Are you even listening to your own words, Sellion? She’s like a daughter to me. _Almost the same age as my son_. And I lost the one woman I ever loved, I would never, _ever_ replace Amelia with anyone”  
“Thranduil, my dear friend, I lost the woman I loved long before you wore the crown on your head. If not for Ely, I would have sailed to find her ages ago. I’m not skilled in matters os love, that I admit. But I know one thing. She would want me to be happy. And I am happy with my little girl. I didn’t find an elleth to make me feel anything remotely close to my feelings for her, but if you say Elydir doesn’t make you feel anything, you’ll be lying to yourself” he said boldly, the king refusing to look at him.

“ I saw you that morning, I came to tell her I was leaving for the palace. And what I saw was more than ‘nothing’. I saw a man holding a woman in his arms. Keeping her safe, in a caring, loving way. And her, sleeping so peacefully in the man’s arms, so happy. I didn’t see my niece and my friend. I saw two people that love one another”  
Thranduil rubbed his forehead. “I…” he couldn’t find the right words.  
“I’m not _telling_ you to feel anything for her. Thran, I want to see you happy, as everyone does in this realm. And I want my niece happy too. I’m stating the obvious; I speak the words you both fear to speak. If this goes against your morality or you have any reasons not to accept this, then don’t force yourself” Sellion said, the words were not sugarcoated, but just a bold statement of the truth.

 

Thranduil turned to look at him. “It’s not that” he spoke with a soft voice. “My morality has nothing to do with it.I try to find a reason. One reason why Elydir is not someone I love. And I can’t. I think you’re right. I do see her differently; have been for a while. And this _scares_ me. Scares me to death” he admitted.  
Sellion refilled his king’s wine cup and then his own. “If my brother was here, I bet he would break the atmosphere with a ridiculous joke of some sort. If your father was here, he would share a word of wisdom. Since none of them are here, take this” he said, offering the wine. “It’s my way of dealing with stressful moments or uncertainty”

The Elvenking took the glass and once more watched the red liquid in it.  
“Oh Sellion… I’m blind and.. In love” he confessed. “This is a disaster”

 

~*~

 

[Cadeyrn’s p.o.v.]

 

Cadeyrn walked to his house, out of the palace but still inside the Cave system. He sighed, taking his coat off and walking to his aunt. “All goes according to the plan, aunt”  
Erwarth nodded. “We need to find who took the king and take him under our control. Such a bold move and successful is worth more than our admiration. Are you sure the girl doesn’t have a clue of our plan?”  
He nodded. “She’s enchanted with the idea of someone caring for her. She literally falls for everything I tell her” he said and chuckled sarcastically. “Poor thing”  
Erwarth raised an eyebrow. “Careful there, Cad. I can see the change in you. You might be my nephew and family, but I know when someone’s lying to me and when not. You like her. Don’t try to deny it”

He huffed. “I don’t _like_ her. I spend my time with her, which I find extremely boring. All this talk of books and dreams like seeing the sea. It’s just water. And the fascination with stars? They are the same, very night. No, wasting my time is a better term. Perhaps I’m pretending so well that I managed to convince you as well” he said, jumping on the couch and stretching lazily.  
The lady narrowed her eyes but let this pass. “Our allies are ready. Sauron’s fall will not stop our Master’s return, only push his escape from the Void to come faster. As he had predicted all those ages ago, after all” she said and sat on an armchair in front of the fireplace and next to the couch her nephew was resting.

 

“If you wish to recruit her, do it fast” she spoke. “Or else you will lose the opportunity to keep her alive” she added, eyes on the flames.  
“Aunt, really, I don’t care about that _thing_. Her blindness will push us closer to the prince easily, her naivety will serve our purpose. Mirkwood will fall in Melkor’s hands, once he escapes. Thranduil or not, this place will be too weak to defend itself against a Vala. With all the corruption we’ve spread over the years spread, we only need the Kingsguard to betray Legolas. After that happens, the royals are as good as dead” Cadeyrn said.

“Convince her, then. Turn her against Thranduil, against the prince. Against everyone, this should be very easy for you now. She can be easily seduced and manipulated, Cad. She is hated, she is hurt from this place, but she’s powerful. You said it yourself, the people will follow her blindly”  
“I said most of them. Propaganda has worked its magic and more than half the kingdom despises her. But I know more than enough will follow her to turn the odds against us” he nodded. “I will do so tomorrow, then. I promise, she’s so blinded that it will be too easy. Almost feel bad about it” he said. Erwarth stood.  
“I hope you’re right. Now, I’ll go message our allies and you.. Rest, I guess. You have the night to do as you please with is” she said and, with a smirk, she left the room.

 

Only then Cadeyrn relaxed truly. It was true, he worked for the Woodland Realm’s fall since he was born. He grew up serving Melkor, as a spy and he continued to do so until this very day. People never noticed that he didn’t age at all, he appeared old and never changed that. The way Melkor created him -or better, experiment on him- made him untouchable my time, even for elves this was something they could not do. He was thousands and thousands of years old.

Yet, the half elf had changed something inside him. No matter how much he wanted to believe his lie, he felt love for her. Pure care, that he had not felt for another before. And this worried him, when he only had to either use her or kill her. _He couldn’t feel love_. Yet, this woman made him be himself, did not suppress him or tried in any way to alter him. Most of the things he told her were true, about who he really was, but skipping the part that he was a spy of the enemy or as old as he truly was. It was easy to talk to her, he thought. She always listened with such interest. With a sweet smile on her face.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his dark hair. If he could seduce her to join him, she would be safe. She would be with him. But he knew how deeply Elydir loved her king, he was the father she never had. He also knew she didn’t fully love him, but he would try to win her. He had to try.

 

~*~

 

[Elydir’s p.o.v.]

 

Even if the half elf was ready to talk to both of the men that haunted her mind, she could not find the right words. She decided to talk to Cadeyrn first. It was wrong to use him to get over Thranduil, as she realized she was actually doing. Part of her had strong feelings about this man, that was true, but compared to her feelings for her king, there was no competition. Yet, she decided to take one more day. One full day with him.  
How truly messed up she was, to love two people at the same time?

Elydir spend her day with Cadeyrn, mostly learning more about him as she did the previous weeks as well. The elf lord was left in Mirkwood with his aunt, as his parents sailed. His mother had lost a child after him and had gotten depressed and his father sailed with her, seeing how bad her condition was. He had an older brother that lived in Lothlorien as a blacksmith and Elydir was surprised to know that she had met him accidentally, in one of her visits there. He wasn’t loved by his family, he said. What a sad thing to say, that your own family didn’t love you. Elydir felt horrible for what was to come.

Everything he was telling her felt true and Ely let her walls finally down for him. All doubts on his honesty had faded the more they talked. She now knew this man could and wished to make her happy, so it was pointless not to let him in. At least as a friend.  
They ended up in her chambers, hugged on a couch in front of the fireplace, exchanging stories and thoughts. Elydir told him of her life, pain and sorrow hitting her as the words were spoken. It was a story she hated to speak of, but she did anyway, as people were either curious or making things up. She wanted to be honest with him and explain her side of the story.

 

Resting her head on his shoulder as she spoke, the knight went on and on.“…All and all, here we are. After the wars, after the losses and after all the sorrow. And guess what’s the brightest moment in the last few years” she said and played with a lock of his dark hair. “You”  
Cadeyrn smiled softly, the light of the fireplace lighting one side of his face and making him look truly beautiful. “I’m sorry you faced such a hard life. I know you deserve happiness, safety, stability. I am confident I can give you all these, Ely. And more; I promise you” he said, kissing her gently. “I love your lips. I love being close to you. I love so many things I didn’t know I loved about you” he said and with red cheeks, Elydir smiled.

“I can say the same. You make me want more and more of you. You.. You were my first kiss” she admitted, making him look at her. “And a beautiful one as well”  
“Then I’m honored, my sweet lady” he said and kissed her forehead, holding her close.  
The knight smiled softly, eyes falling closed. She had to speak to him, t some point. She needed to be honest with him. “Cad?” she asked, after a long moment. He hummed in response. “What if this doesn’t work? Us, I mean. Would you still be my friend, if my heart cannot be yours?”  
The elf lord looked at her and for a moment, a hint of deep pain was obvious in his eyes. “That man that you spoke of, when I came in your office…” his voice faded. He was far cleverer than he seemed, to have caught the meaning of her words so quickly.“I am not an idiot, Ely, I can see there’s a shadow in your eyes. You still love him, don’t you?”

 

Elydir felt guilt and pain, but nodded. “For many years, Cad. Many, slow and painful years. But he’s someone I could never have. Someone that could never feel the same way as I do. And yet, I can’t forget him. I want to, I try to. But he’s just… there”  
She sat up a bit and pulled Cadeyrn in her arms, so he could rest his head on her chest and she stroked his hair in a calming pace. “I want you in my heart. I want to love you as you deserve. As I really want to love you: fully. With every part of me. But he’s haunting my mind. The moment I think he’s left in the past, he comes back. It’s sick of me to feel love for two people and yet, I feel so torn between you two. I want to give in to your love fully. But a part of me is his” she explained, running her slim fingers through his hair.

“That’s why I ask for some time. That’s why I cannot give you everything. I’m so sorry to do this, I hate myself for doing this to you. You do not deserve someone refusing your love” she felt shame and guilt almost drowning her. Cadeyrn was silent the whole time she was talking and remained so for a while longer  
The elf lord left a sigh, eventually, but held her close. His head rested against her chest and he had closed his eyes as he spoke. “I’ll wait” he said, in a tone that held no sadness. It was a statement that it felt as if he had prepared to say a long time ago. “You’re worth waiting for, Elydir, so I’ll wait. Either you will forget him or.. Or I’ll get used to the idea that I will never have all of you”

She looked down and kissed the top of his head. “That’s not fair, though. You’re wonderful, Cad. You deserve better-“  
“I’m willing to sacrifice everything” he interrupted her, raising his eyes to meet hers. “I mean my words, my sweet lady. So, I’ll wait”

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mellon nin = my friend


	10. We always yell at each other anyway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elydir has a rough morning no matter the wonderful storm outside. Thranduil learns something Ely hid from him.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

The morning came but no sunlight broke the darkness of the skies. Thick, dark clouds covered the sky and the sound of thunders roaring filled the air. Feeling a chill, the king got up and closed the window, which had opened from the wind, then pulled the curtains to stop the weak light from entering the room.  
Half awake, he returned to bed and pulled the warm body that lied next to him closer. He fell asleep once his head touched the pillow, but Elydir was not that lucky. Her night was filled with disturbing dreams and the song the thunders infiltrated her dreams, it helped a nightmare begin.

_She was running for her life. It was dark, rain was hitting her face. The trees were dancing furiously in the strong wind and thunders lighted the skies every few moments. Hounds were heard barking and Elydir kept running._  
_Soon, she slipped on the mud and fell down, before something heavy hit her head. Everything went black, but the light returned slowly to her eyes. She was carried somewhere. Oh no. She knew this dream. This was no dream at all._  
_Her brothers and sisters-in-arms had tied her hands and feet, and then carried her towards the waterfall. The highest waterfall within a mile from the city walls. Everything was blurry, voices slowly faded in. She shivered and couched, feeling dizzy and cold._

 

_Laughs. Then kicks, painful and strong kicks. She cried out more and more, but then the kicks moved from her sides to her face and chest. This hurt even more. Bleeding and crying, she begged them to stop. She never hurt anyone, never made fun of anyone, never bothered any of them. She barely talked to them while training._  
_One of them kicked her nose, breaking it, the sound making Elydir scream, before the pain made her lie down still. Dark faces were lit by lightning every now and then. She knew every one of them. But none of them were her friends, the two she had at least._  
_“Time to end this” one said, a son of a Duke. “No title shall fall in the hands of an abomination like you. That’s right, you are that. A bastard, a mistake. And I hope you die with only these words in your mind”_

_She was carried again. Her eyes were blurry once more and the pain from her nose and body made her head hurt so badly. She was put to stand, still bound, before the waterfall and facing the cliff. Then one kick was the last thing before she screamed on the top of her lungs._  
_She landed on the water with her side, which made a sharp piece of wood, from a fallen tree, enter her body. The pain was great, but with her remaining strength, she tried to reach the surface. She screamed for help, the water red around her. She then saw the figures leave, from afar. She screamed again, begging for mercy. Nothing happened. No one turned to even look at her._

 

Moving her head from side to side and then her hands tripping to swim in her dream, but trying to push Thranduil away in reality. She felt like she couldn’t move, but that was only because of Thranduil’s arms around her. Yet, it felt just as she was bound once more.  
Then it started. The whimpering, the tears escaping her eyes, the shivering. She started talking clearer and clearer. Thranduil’s eyes opened and he needed a moment to realize what was happening.  
“Ely” he said softly, stroking her cheek. “Elydir wake up, it’s a dream. Wake up” he said, his voice clear and louder now.  
The knight cried more and more, the waves pulling her down in her dream. “N- no please!” she cried and with a scream, she sudden;y sat up and opened her eyes. Panting and needing a moment for the room to fade in her vision and the lake to fade out. She looked around, panting softly.

Still crying, she looked at Thranduil and a sob left, making her smaller frame shake. There was no need for words. Thranduil pulled her in his arms, hugging her tightly as she cried her heart out, clinging on him for dear life.  
“It was a dream, you’re safe with me” he whispered, between other soothing words, as he was stroking her hair and back.  
She sobbed and it took a long time until she managed to stop and speak a word. “They t- tried to k- kill me… Th- they threw me o- off the waterfall…N- No accident. That’s how I- I.. I got the wound on my s- side” she spoke, still shaking. “N- Never told you so you w- wouldn’t punish them… The group I- I was training with.. Tried to…” once more she stopped, burying her face in is hair.

The Elvenking felt such strong rage as he hadn’t felt in years. Sellion entered the room, after he heard the screams, but the king nodded him to leave and so he did. Stroking her back and holding her close, he lied down again. He waited. He let her cry all her pain and fear for what had happened out of her. She was so young back then, barely 18 years old. She told everyone she was chased by wolves and it was an accident that she fell, but this… this was outrageous. She was found 3 days later, almost dead. It was more than outrageous.  
Part of him was mad at her that she didn’t tell him, but his heart couldn’t bear to see her like this. So Thranduil let her cry herself to sleep. Her sobs stopped, her eyes shed all the tears they had. She fell asleep, tired and calmer than before. He would ask questions later, he thought. He had to ask his son and captain as well about this.

 

~*~

 

The sound of rain was Elydir’s favorite sound, along with the song of the trees. But rain.. Rain was special to her. Her eyes opened slowly, only to see Thranduil holding her tightly and sleeping peacefully; with only their breaths and the raindrops breaking the silence. She sighed and admired his beautiful face for a moment, before nuzzling in his neck. At least, she could enjoy this kind of moments while he was asleep.  
Then she noticed. Her eyes stung, her throat was dry. Even her cheeks felt a bit wet. Was she crying? She thought she was crying in a dream…  
_It wasn’t a dream. ___

____

Had she actually cried in his arms? Spoken words she had sworn not to? She bit her bottom lip. She didn’t mention anything else, did she? She felt so tired and wanted to sleep more, but part of her wanted to be alone. She didn’t have to work today so she was planning on talking to Thranduil. His answer would define the final talk to Cadeyrn. If Thranduil was interested in her, Cad would have to get used to the term ‘friend’ but if he wasn’t, she would tell him that she was his entirely. This conversation would define her future. And this made her so nervous, she needed space and time to form the words she would speak.

 

Leaving the warmth she found herself to love, she walked to the kitchen. She found breakfast ready and a note from her uncle telling her that he would stay in the palace for this day and night. She smiled when she read his words _’I hope your bitter dreams fade and sweeter things happen’_. This man would never give up on home for her.  
She took her breakfast and went to the living room. The fireplace was lit in moments and she sat in her favorite armchair, hugged by Thranduil’s soft and very warm robe. She needed one for herself too, she thought.  
It was half an hour later that the king walked down, wrapped in another robe he had brought with him, a silver and blue one, not the classic silver and red one Ely used these days without his permission. “I think this blue one suits you better, but if it’s the red you like more, then keep it” he said, startling her but smiling. “Sorry. I didn’t meant to scare you”  
The lady smiled and shook her head. “I was lost in my thoughts, you didn’t. Have a seat and breakfast, the water is still warm if you want tea”  
He lied on the couch, next to her armchair and wrapped his robe tight around him. Yawning, he looked at her. “Why did you leave bed? It’s cold today, bed was warm” he said sleepily, which made Ely chuckle. He was adorable when half awake.

“You’re really cute when you’re sleepy” she said, before blushing and looking away. She wasn’t supposed to compliment him.  
“Thank you. I can say the same. I like the lazy, I-want-to-cuddle-all-day-in-bed Elydir. She’s very cute” he returned the compliment, with a soft smile.  
She blushed deeper. “Did I do that?” she whispered and the king chuckled.  
“No, but I know you like it. You liked it when you were little, some things never change” he said and his face became serious. “We need to talk”

 

She looked away. “I wanted to talk to you as well, but not for what you think I want to” Ely said and he sat up.  
“Let’s start with the nightmare, then” he said and took the cup, pouring the hot water in the tea leaves.  
She looked at him for a moment, then towards the fireplace. “I don’t wish to, really”  
“I don’t really give you a choice here” he said casually, making the knight turn her gaze to him. “I want to know everything that happened that night. You were barely 10 years old, Ely, you where a child. Literally a child”  
She looked in the fire, the dancing flames were almost hypnotic but far better than the blue-grey eyes of the man next to her. “I know” she simply spoke and took a deep breath.

“They chased me. Hounds first, then themselves. Around eight of them. I knew every single one of them, barely ever talked to them. Never did anything to them” she spoke, her eyes lost in the fire, as if she could see the memories of that night inside them.  
“I slipped and they hit me on the head. Then tied me and threw me of the waterfall. I fell on my side, a sharp piece of wood got in my body, cracking a bone… Well, I waited to die, but the waves pushed me out, on the sand. Half of me still in the water, so I stayed there. Waiting to die. Wishing, crying.. I had no strength to sit up or even speak, so I closed my eyes and waited”  
Thranduil’s teeth clenched more and more as he was listening. “And then your uncle found you?” he asked.  
She nodded and looked at him with watery eyes. “Aye. I waited in the storm for days. There were more fallen trees, so the wind was not terribly strong, I was somehow protected. I was bleeding; Valar, the sand around me was red. The days passed and somehow I survived, I could barely believe I was still breathing”

 

“I was… crying” she said, remembering details. “I was crying. Then I saw a dream, a lady with black hair and sparkles on them came. She sat by my side and took my head to rest on her lap. She sang to me and stroked my hair. She was telling me to wait, that I have many things to live yet and that I was not alone. I believed her” her voice was coming out broken and sad.  
“I thought it was Varda herself, but it couldn’t be. Uncle said sometimes, when close to death, we.. see things. My *ada was seeing my grandparents and *nana and I, he said. I don’t know” she looked down to her hands, blinking tears back. “I suppose I needed to believe at a miracle that moment”

The king, unable to just sit and listen, knelt next to her and cupped her face. He gently made her look at him. “You should have come to me instead of leaving for Imladris” he whispered, removing her fallen tears with his thumps. “I understand you needed a skilled healer. He said your stomach was almost hurt but saved because the piece of wood didn’t stay in. I was fully informed of your condition, that’s why I send Legolas there” he said softly, in a loving way. “I know of the broken ribs, Elrond told me that the Battle of the Five Armies made things worse. That the infection and bleeding from the old wound had led you to fade. I knew the moment you woke up you’d never forgive yourself for Thorin’s death. But to know that wound caused you your friend, created by such hatred and still not healed… I understand why it took you so long to recover from his loss”

 

Elydir closed her eyes. “I didn’t want to run to you for help. L- Like they wanted me to, like a scared person would do. This was my first assassination attempt and from teenagers. Teenagers. Do you really want me to name every time a dark figure attacked me with a dagger?” she asked, placing one hand on his. She avoided mentioning Thorin altogether. The conversation would take a really dark turn if she spoke of that time.  
“I didn’t want to look as if I’m relying on my relationship with you to gain your favor. You were and still are my king, above all. Even as a father or a friend or whatever we are, this comes first”

“You take those oaths too seriously” he spoke and took her hands in his, kissing them. “You are far more than a child in my eyes. You are family. In more ways you can imagine… But you should have told me. I am deeply irritated that you didn’t. You should have” he spoke and stood.  
The knight frowned deeply. “That’s all you have to say?” she asked, standing and wiping her tears away with her sleeve. “Seriously now?” she asked, clearly irritated herself.  
“Yes, seriously now and mind your tone to me” he snapped, walking behind the couch, but turning to look at her. “Family. This word means we are one, we are a team that cannot be broken. We protect each other, we take care of each other-”  
“How can you say that? You know people would accuse me of using our relationship!” she interrupted.

 

“Then let them!” he said, his voice rising and opening his arms. “I am the king, what the hell they could do to me?”  
“We’re not speaking about you here, Thranduil” Elydir stated, fixing the robe around her.  
“And what could they do to you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.  
“Are you kidding? I’m telling you they tried to kill me, I’m telling you there are assassination attempts-”  
“Which I know of already” he interrupted her.  
A thunder filled the room as both took a moment to realize what was said. He had mentioned it before, yes, but the knight thought he had mentioned the few in the palace. She was unaware he knew of all, which he implied he did. “You knew? Or all of them?”  
“Of course I did!” he spoke, rubbing his face tiredly. “It’s my kingdom, I know most of the things happening there. Mostly from guards I’ve assigned to watch over you. Why do you think Colonel Armos came the other day to you? I sent him to you, I always had him watch over you”

 

Her breathing was faster and anger burned inside her. “How could you…?” she whispered.  
“Excuse me?” Thranduil asked, frowning, his lips parting in disbelief.  
“How. Could. You?” She repeated, golden eyes burning. “I always, always did everything on my own. I am strong on my own. I can defend myself. On. My. Own.”  
“Are you insane, Elydir? Is that not your problem? That you did everything on your own?” he asked, truly lost.  
“Of course not! The problem was that I never had respect from people, but all are forced to respect me. I never truly had people realize what I do, I do it to benefit both the realm as a whole and the commoners as well. Not myself. I am their voice to you, no one ever appreciated that because of this freaking propaganda! I like doing things on my own, I have my way to handling everything. I don’t have the respect I should have. I don’t have a person to come and talk to me without having the ‘I pity you' look or the ‘ew you’re half human’ look. I still hate it and will always hate it, but this is who I am!”

The Elvenking blinked, before chuckling. “You’re crazy” he spoke, his face serious once more. “Do you think you feel that you are not respected? Every person shows respect in a different way. Do I not respect you? Do I show it every day? No and I probably should, but I don’t and yet you know I do. But truly, Elydir, you don’t know what you want” he spoke, taking a step close to her.  
“Watch it, Thranduil” she spoke, her voice cold.  
“Was that a threat?” he asked, cold and angry words leaving his lips. No one could resist the cold fire burning in his eyes when he was mad. “Did you _dare_ to threaten me?”

 

She fought to find the words, but lowered her gaze in defeat. “Want me to tell you you’re right? Want me to lick your boots as everyone else? You’re right, I don’t know what I want” she spoke in a low voice.  
He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. “Speak your mind dammit!” he spoke and turned his back to her, walking close to the glass door of the backyard and looking out.  
“I know what I want” she spoke, too tired to fight. “Love. Acceptance. Peace. Only these three things” she said and looked down. This wasn’t going anywhere. Thranduil refused to turn and look at her, but an idea came into her mind. She would fight him until they could speak what's in their hearts. It was the only way these two could communicate honestly.  
“Look at me when I talk to you” she said, in a clear voice and standing proudly. Slowly turning to look, Thranduil raised an eyebrow. “Say what again..?” he asked, taken by surprise.  
“I demand your attention” she spoke and crossed her arms on her chest.  
“ _Demand_?” he asked and walked to her. “You cannot demand _anything _from me. You have no right to. I am your king!” he spoke loudly.__  
“And I am..”  
_No, don’t do this, Ely. Don’t do this to yourself…_

____

__

 

“I am a woman. And one that is in love with you. Deeply. Madly. Desperately. Unconditionally” she spoke, her eyes locked with his. Where did this come from? She would fight him, try to work her way to express her feelings but.. not this way. He simply stared at her. Oh she made a horrible mistake.  
“Years now I feel.. Alive around you. Important. Needed by someone. I didn’t want to speak a word- who am I to love a king? I would keep those feelings hidden, but then.. I don’t know what happened! Cadeyrn appeared and showed interest and care. I know it was love., but not from the one I wanted. He kissed me and I wished it was you. He held me and I wished it was you. Everything he did were beautiful.. but not from _you_ ” her tone was now broken, her voice filled with pain. 

Thranduil was frozen. Hit hard by her confession and feeling numb. It was true, then.. Sellion spoke the truth. But this… He couldn’t possibly think this was possible.  
He walked to her with fast steps and his arms wrapped around her waist. He didn’t think, or else he’d stop. He let his heart decide for him.  
Leaning close, he met her lips. Soft and warm, tasting like caramel and steel. His own lips moved slowly against hers and for the first time in forever, Thranduil felt his knees weak and his entire body as if it was melting.

 

As for the knight, the sudden kiss was nothing she expected. Yet, her arms wrapped around his neck instantly and her lips moved against his, favoring every moment. Sweet and as soft as a feather. Their eyes closed and both got lost in the kiss, loving and filled with emotions as it was. Thranduil fingers held the robe around her tightly so he could pull her closer, while Elydir’s hands fingers were tangled gently through the king’s hair. There was a strange need, as if both were thirsty for one another. 

A moment that felt like a million years passed and their lips moved against each other’s faster. A bit deeper and a bit more hungrily. Soon, their bodies were pressed and soft sighs left them the few moments their lips weren’t in touch.  
Elydir melted in the kiss so when it broke, from the need of air, she didn’t move away from him. She stayed there, trying to process what happened. Eyes closed, foreheads in touch, hugged and… in love.  
“About that I-want-to-cuddle-all-day-in-bed Elydir you liked?” she breathed on his lips, with a light smile. “Let’s do that today”

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * ada = dad (adar = father)  
> * nana = mom (naneth = mother)


	11. Sorrow by morning and happiness by night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ely gets to talk to Cadeyrn about her feelings and once everything is ready, the king returns to the palace.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

The Elvenking swept the knight from her feet and carried her upstairs, placing her on the bed and joining her, instantly pulling her close and the covers over them. “All this time…” he started, kissing her nose. “I feel really stupid. I should’ve noticed something –anything!- and yet, I thought it was only your caring side showing; you always liked to take care of me”

She smiled and relaxed in his embrace. “Well, I was careful. But there were moments that my knees felt so weak around you. The other day, in the training fields with your swords.. I swear, I felt as if you knew and simply tortured me until I speak my feelings to you openly” she admitted, her pale cheeks turning pink.  
“I didn’t, believe me; I was completely oblivious. And even if I did, I wouldn’t torture you like that. Love is beautiful, a true torture by itself sometimes. Only now I see..” his voice faded, as he felt lost in her amber eyes for a moment. “I just want to hold you and play with your hair and hum songs to you” he said after a moment, running his fingertips over her cheek.  
Leaning in the gentle caress, her eyes closed. “I’d love that” she said and nuzzled against his neck. There were no words strong enough to describe how happy she was.

 

The king smiled softly and held her, closing his eyes. “And Cadeyrn?” he asked softly.  
“I will talk to him tomorrow. He always knew someone else owned my heart, this won’t be a big shock to him. I’ve even told him that this might not work for us, after all. I hate I will hurt him like this though. His heart is good and he’s very sweet and caring with me. I feel like such an awful person to play with his feelings like this”  
Thranduil pressed his lips to hers, so he wouldn’t speak and Ely chuckled, feeling him tense a little. “Alright, I know you don’t like him at all, but he’s not a bad person; I know he isn’t”

He sighed and kissed her head. “Well, I trust your judgment, commander. And you’re not an awful person, under any circumstances. Time to stop that self loathing you always had, hm?” he said and chuckled a moment after. “I need a nickname for you”  
“I have one for you” she said, deciding to ignore the self loathing part; she looked up in his eyes, enjoying the bright blue in them.

“ _King of my heart_. Fits you perfectly, because you’ll be the king of something more than your kingdom; you’ll have my heart, as well”  
Thranduil pressed a loving kiss on her lips. “Then what better nickname is there than ‘My Queen’?” he asked softly, making Elydir’s cheeks turn red.  
“R- Really?” she whispered and he chuckled, his eyes both amused and filled with love for the lady in his arms. He stroked her cheek tenderly and spoke the next words naturally.  
“Absolutely, queen of my world”

 

~*~

 

The day passed by happily and the couple barely left each other’s arms. It was about time they both talked about their true feelings, moments that they would never forget, realization moments and so many other things. But in the morning, Ely got up and got ready to face another mission she had. She met Cadeyrn in the bakery close to his house, where he usually gets something to eat the mornings. She gently avoided his kiss and smiled. “We need to talk”  
Cadeyrn’s smile faded, but he agreed to her request. 

They took a walk in the forest, so they could have some privacy; ill-intended eyes and ears were not around them now to hear any of the words she wanted to say. The knight fought to find the right way to tell him what her final decision was.  
“You look different today” he said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Changed”

Elydir looked in his eyes, but couldn’t look for more than a few moments. “Some things.. Happened yesterday” she started.  
The elf lord didn’t need to hear more, before he knew what had happened. “That man, I assume?” he asked, his disappointment painfully obvious already. He knew it would happen one day; that fool –whoever he was- would realize the treasure Elydir truly is and he would steal her from him.  
The half elf nodded, keeping her gaze ahead. It was one of the rare moments Ely wished she could ran away from the life she had and join a man like Cadeyrn. The two of them could leave, start a new life, one that would make both of them happy. But.. Her heart knew too well that a life without Thranduil was not possible. She would be miserable forever and no matter the happiness of her new life, she would never be completely happy. What a selfish thought to make. Having a beautiful man in her life, but being unhappy with him.

 

“He returns your love” Cadeyrn added and she nodded once more, guilt making her shoulders heavy. A long sigh left his lips, as his hand moved to take hers and yet it fall on his side before he did that. “So this is the end of the road”

Ely looked at him and took his hand. She would never leave whatever they had end like this: in silence. “Cad.. You know well a part of me loves you. Very much, in fact. But the feelings I have for him cannot match those I have for you. I’m so sorry, truly. I wish I could ignore everything and be with you, leave this place and start a life with you. I truly liked this, when we talked about it a few days ago. I was sure, back then. Sure I wanted this dreamy new life with you. But…” she let her voice fade. “I thought it was only right to let you know and not lie to you about this. Not live a life based on a lie”

 

Cadeyrn sat on a fallen tree, covered by a thin carpet of moss. He looked at the grass, his hand leaving her soft grip almost as if it was the hand of a ghost. Something not truly existing, something that could not be touched or held within his palm. Unreachable.  
“You did the right thing, I wouldn’t like you to lie to me that you love me and love someone else. I just… _knew_ it. You were never truly mine so I knew he, whoever he is, would understand the beauty underneath the strength and steal you away from me” his voice came out almost tired. Slightly broken, but sad and tired. _Having lost all hope_.

The half elf swallowed. “Cad…” she spoke and he turned to look at her, with tears in his eyes. This was one of the most heartbreaking things Elydir had ever seen in her life. _A man so strong and beautiful, crying_. This broke a part of her, causing physical pain, so she only felt her own eyes fill with tears.

 

The elf lord pulled her in a tight hug, that lasted for a long moment. None spoke, both simply held one another, letting silent tears fall. How sick of her, to love two people at once. How twisted of her to play with his feelings like this? Elydir hated herself for many reasons, but this would only make this hatred grow stronger.  
Ely kept her lips closed and left more of the silent tears fall. What else could she do? She felt as if she pressed a knife in his chest more and more and today, she gave one final push and sheathed the blade completely inside him. _Guilt_. That’s what she felt. Guilty to betray such a magnificent person.  
“Don’t push me out of your life” he whispered, burying his face in her hair.  
“Never. I promised you that before” she whispered and stroked his back. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could return all the love and how beautiful you make me feel back to you” she added.

“Can I at least know who he is?” he asked, voice broken and even his whisper felt filled with sadness.  
“It won’t offer you peace, but only rage. Please, don’t do this to yourself, my sweet Cadeyrn. Please” she whispered, holding him just a bit tighter. “I only ask you to be in my life as a friend. Because you’re amazing and wonderful and I don’t want to lose you. It’s selfish of me to ask you this, but I do”  
He respected her choice and nodded, pulling back and wiping his cheeks hastily. “Of course. In both matters” he said, pressing soft kisses on her cheeks and her lips one last time. A slow, filled with love and pain kiss, one that made their lips dance together one last time. To get her taste of iron and rain and let the scent of vanilla to fill his nose one last time. 

“You hold a place in my heart that no one ever had before. Remember that, should you need me back in your life. I’ll always wait for you. You’re worth waiting for, White Knight” he said and without another word, he stood from the tree trunk and walked away.

 

Elydir needed a few moments, before walking back to her house. It was a small distance and yet, the road felt so long. So slow. Once there, with heavy steps, she returned to her bedroom and lied on the bed, snuggling in Thranduil’s arms. The sleepy king held her close, but opened his eyes only a little. “Are you alright?” he whispered.  
His eyes opened fully when he saw red eyes, still filled with tears. “What is it, my heart, what happened?” he asked, concern making his perfect features break into a frown.

The knight explained what happened, not with many details, as tears ran from her eyes and her voice was too weak to speak the words they exchanged. She couldn’t speak more, after a few moments, as a sob left her lips and Thranduil pulled her close so she could cry all the pain our of her heart. “My sweet love” he whispered, kissing her head. “You can’t stand hurting anyone, can you?” he mused, but expected no answer. He only let her cry, until she was tired and fell asleep in his arms.

 

~*~

 

It wasn’t a few days later that the king was found, dirty but unharmed. He explained how he was abducted for ransoms, but he escaped and was chased down by his captors until he found the way back to safety. It has been a month that he was gone and once back, the entire kingdom was happy that he was alive and well and proud that he alone escaped, proving to be the famous warrior and survivor he people always believed. And so, the Prince, the Captain and the White Knight prepared a feast for him, welcoming him back and celebrating his return. Under high security, of course; they had to sell the story well enough for everyone to buy it.  
In his study, once more, Thranduil sighed and leaned his back on his chair, with a light smile. _It’s good to be home_ he thought, not that his staying in his lady’s house was bad. It was a happy change, to feel normal again.

Ely came in, closing the door behind her and sitting on his lap, his arms closing around her waist to hold her against him. Their relationship felt natural already, as if they were meant to be together, even if it was a few weeks old yet. “My queen, what an excellent plan you had. It seems all the alliances in the council are broken and Legolas informed me that he spoke to many of them, threatening and making sure they wouldn’t plot against our family again. You are clever, after all” he teased, kissing her nose.  
She rolled her eyes. “Very funny. And it was uncle’s plan, not mine. But yes, it worked so far. We’ll need to be cautious, though. I don’t believe threats are enough to stop these people, even when they come from your son. He’s actually in higher danger now more than ever” she said seriously, but smiled in the soft kiss.  
Thranduil nodded. “As you command, my Queen” he said and she smiled, loving the nickname already.

 

Legolas came in, the only one -except Elydir- that never knocked. “Hm, I should start knocking” he said and smiled at the two of them. “You two look nice together” he added and took a seat on the chair in front of his father’s desk.  
Thranduil smiled, stopping Ely when she attempted to stand, before focusing on his son. “Yes, knocking is needed, so is locking. But in any case, thank you, ion nin” he said and winked at him.  
The prince smiled. “So, I’m here for the evening. The celebration includes a dance, since it’s for the citizens too. How about you share our first dance? But I would strongly advice that you won’t make anything public yet, things are still.. unstable, so to say”  
Elydir nodded. “We wouldn’t anyway. We talked about it and agreed that some time is needed first. And until people accept me as my king’s lady, it’ll take time”  
“You certainly mean Queen” Thranduil said, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. 

She looked between him and Legolas, lips parted and trying to find the right words. “Uh, I don’t actually. Thran, if you announce that I’m your future Queen, you raise the danger for all of us and the court’s disaffection towards you. Also, we never spoke of marriage and it’s way too early to do so…”  
Legolas looked at them, feeling that the matter needed more time to be discussed and his presence wasn’t needed. “I better go-“  
“Wait a minute, we’re not playing games here, Ely. We have feelings for each other, we are not children, we’re adults wanting to live together” Thranduil said, looking at her with a soft frown.

 

“I know and I agree, but marriage is another thing. A totally different thing” she said, for a moment both ignoring Legolas. “I have my fair share of reasons why I am against it-“  
“Against getting bonded with the blessings of our gods, honoring our traditions and making your man officially yours?” Thranduil fought to understand the logic she had.  
“Against being with the same person forever. Thran, I’m not sure you understand how everyone tends to leave my life. I learned the hard way never to stay for long with someone, in any sort of relationship. And.. I’m constantly scared I’ll fail or hurt the people I care the most. I can’t..” she looked down, choosing to stop her train of thoughts.

“Nonsense” he said, with a dry chuckle. “Don’t be silly, if we marry, it’ll all be better” the Elvenking insisted with a smile. One that did not convinced Elydir.  
The two of them started talking a bit louder, a bit faster. The spark of another fight was obvious and Legolas rubbed his face. “Guys” he said softly, the couple ignoring him again. “Please, guys” he added, seeing no changes.  
He needed to stand and slap his hand hard on his father’s desk to gain their attention. “Hm, it actually works” he murmured and looked at them. “Stop. You’re fighting again, just stop”  
Thranduil looked at him, then at Ely. “Not really” he said and shrugged.  
“Well, yes, we communicate this way. Haven’t you figured that out yet? We always fight” Ely agreed, nodding.

“Yes, but I recall a bad ending to one of your million fights that ended up with you running away, joining a wizard, thirteen dwarves and a hobbit and going to kill a dragon. So no, no more fights” the prince said, almost tiredly.  
Both seemed to forget that all the time Thranduil was gone, Legolas was running the entire kingdom with Tauriel. “Forget this for now and get ready for tonight. I’ll go sleep and so will Tauriel. We’ll see you at the feast” he said, too tired to even try and be formal to them anymore. He walked out of the room, letting the couple look at him.

 

The commander sighed softly. “He’s right, fighting will do us no good” she said and wrapped her arms around his neck again. “He did a very good job, Tauriel too. Poor girl couldn’t meet her own husband to dine together with all the work we let them do. They deserve some time off”  
The king smirked and nodded. “Wise and caring, just as I love you” he said and made her chuckle, rolling her eyes. “I think I’m going to be really annoying with these three little words. I find myself constantly needing to tell you”

Elydir chuckled and kissed his nose. “I am happy to hear it, but look who’s terribly sappy and sweet. This, I admit, I didn’t know. This beautiful side of you. It almost makes me love you more” she replied, equally sappy and smiling.  
Thranduil chuckled, his heart filled with happiness. “I’m not even going to tease you back” he said and pecked her lips sweetly. “But.. I have a present for you. I happen to know that you are not fond of parties and celebrations of this kind and you mostly attend as my knight, not my lady. Something about not being fond of dresses and heels?”  
She gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Well, you need someone to put you in bed when you get drunk. Someone that can also change you, which I admit it felt awkward every single time it happened. I admit, I liked it a bit though”

The king raised an eyebrow. “And I always wondered how I was waking up in other clothes than the party ones” he smiled. “Well, tonight, you’ll be joining me and the whole kingdom as our lady. The present will wait for you in your chambers”  
Elydir smiled widely. No matter what it was, the fact that he had already thought of a gift for her was really touching. They were there for barely two days, how did he managed that? He only wished his return and settling back to the throne would not be altered by their relationship. Thranduil was an excellent ruler, Ely did not wish to be a distraction to him.

“Thank you, king of my heart. I’m sure I’ll love it” she said with a bright smile.  
“You’re very welcome, queen of my heart” he replied.

~*~


	12. Come dance with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A feast is to be held in the halls of the palace, in which Ely has a special gift to use and present herself. Thranduil spare no expense on the woman he found himself to love.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

No matter how good it felt that Elydir was, at long last, living her dream -being with the only man she ever felt like this for- there was still a kingdom that needed attention. Thranduil and Elydir were back in action and this time, after Legolas’ good handling of all matters, they didn’t have to face the mountain of work both expected.

Ely focused on most of the paperwork of her Guard, which were mostly reports of patrols in and out of the cave systems, some weaponry and armor requests that needed signing and arranging the upcoming patrols, to make sure everything was covered when it comes to security.  
Yet, she found herself quickly done and heading back to her chambers. Part of her was nervous to the bone for the present her king mentioned and when she opened her door, there was a chest on her bed, with a silver ribbon around it in a pretty bow.  
Smiling, she closed the door and took the note that was on top of the chest. She opened it and smiled, recognizing the handwriting. The words felt as if Thranduil was actually speaking them to her.

 

 _Queen of my world,_  
  
_I want you to know that I find you more beautiful than any other person in this kingdom and I’m sure you won’t mention this to your red-haired friend, because she will frown deeply and I’ll have to alter that statement._  
_In this box, you’ll find something to make your beauty shine to the whole word. There won’t be a single person tonight that won’t look at you or want to be like you. I hope this won’t make you nervous._  
  
_I’ll send my personal assistant to help you with your hair and everything else. I only want to say something about one of the things in the box that you would tell me you can’t wear, if I was there._  
_Yes. The necklace if mandatory._  
  
_I can’t wait to see you tonight._  
_Yours, the king of your heart._

 

She chuckled in the comment about Tauriel and her eyes widen in the mention of a necklace. Mentally, she prayed it wouldn’t be anything too fancy, but Ely knew Thranduil loved to be admired and attract all eyes on him; and so, this whole outfit would be too much for her taste. Still, she would wear it and try to stand as a queen by his side.  
This thought made her sigh and lie on the bed, next to the box, eyes resting on the ceiling. How could she even think of herself as a be queen? She wasn’t made for anything like this. She was a commander of her guard and a knight, sure, but leading an army was way different than leading a kingdom. And so was the weight of responsibility of those two things.  
Not that she didn’t know how to, really. Despite being all she is, Elydir is also his assistant and so everything passes from her hands. No one could rule a kingdom alone and that is the use of a court. But even then, someone had to gather everything and give it to the head of it, so he could use them. That was her job, which she volunteered to do and Thranduil accepted happily the assistance.

 

She sighed. She needed to get ready, which meant shower before anything else. By the time her hair was dry, she wouldn’t come up with a hairstyle and if his assistant, Galion, was to come and help her, she could get some help on the matter. There was no shame or embarrassment around him. After all, it was barely the first time he’d see her with lesser clothes. Galion was the one of the few people –apart from Legolas and her- that was in her king’s chambers all the time and she has happened to need to change. First example in her mind? Training with Thranduil.  
it was rare, she ended up beaten and covered in dust, so she could quickly change while he was taking his bath. Galion was a kind soul to help her when she needed something and she always returned the favor.  
Signing, she rubbed her face. This was a mistake, the night would end up being horrible and embarrassing and even humiliating. There was a crippling fear that she would somehow lose her balance or say something very stupid or even speak a wrong name when addressing someone? Something stupid anyway. She felt so scared about this…

No, a voice said within her. She wasn’t some scared elfling anymore. She was a woman –Eru help us- and a strong one. And most importantly, she was doing this for him. The man of her dreams. One she admired and looked up to and still does. One that was to her a father, a friend and a lover.  
Scratch the last one, this was a fantasy that would need much more time to become true.  
She sat up and took a deep breath. “Dress, necklace and let’s see what we can do. Nana please guide me, I need you now more than ever” she said to herself. She’d give everything to have her parents with her and especially now. She felt as if this was the first night of courtship she would spend with a man she already adores. Not as an adult, more like a schoolgirl. Like she was a young elf, learning how dating works. Valar help us…

 

The knight opened the box, seeing an ocean blue fabric, soft and beautiful. She grinned like an idiot; blue was her color, in all shades but the very bright ones. The only bright shade was teal, the blue-green, but other than that, she rarely wore bright blue. To see the ocean blue now… “I dream of oceans and distant lands” she murmured.  
This was her phrase, the one she had thought of when she was young, the one phrase that she could use to describe herself. She dreamed of oceans and distant lands, away from judgment and misery and danger. Across the ocean, to her family or to foreign lands. He couldn’t possibly remember; last time she mentioned this phrase, she hadn’t met the Company yet. That was hundreds of years back.  
Ely chuckled happily and pulled the dress out, that proved to be truly huge. She placed it on a doll she had and used mostly for her armor, admiring it. This was queenlier than anything she had seen before. Yet, she noticed a case and a pair of high heels in the same color. Of course, Thranduil wouldn’t leave anything behind. She wondered how long he has been planning him or how many times he argued with the tailor about this. Oh Valar. Did the tailor know the dress and shoes were for her?

She took the shoes and placed them in front of the dress, before taking the last case. That should be the necklace. She opened it and gasped, almost letting the case with the jewel fall from her hands. It was made from silver and gold, hugging the neck but also continued until the neckline. Small, white gems decorated it and a square diamond in the middle and dour smaller under it.  
White gems…  
_Those she returned from the mountain with the dwarves’ thanks._  
“The white gems of Lasgalen” she whispered. She wanted so badly to run to him, give it back and then disappear forever. She was truly unworthy of such gift; it costs more than a quarter of the realm!  
She closed the case, before placing it on her desk, next to the doll with the dress and then falling on the bed. She stayed there for a moment and tried to relax.

 

A soft knock was heard pulling Ely out of her thoughts and she stood to answer the door. “May I?” Legolas asked and she sighed in relief it wasn’t his father.  
She pulled him in and closed the door hastily. “Your father wants me to-“  
“I know, we worked on the dress together” he said and she frowned. “It would be your next birthday present, but a misunderstanding with the tailor lead to having it ready before he was ‘abducted’. I came to see if everything is alright with it”  
Elydir sighed once her friend stopped talking. “Legolas, it’s the most beautiful dress I have ever seen or even dreamed of wearing” she said and walked to the doll, caressing the soft fabric. “But the necklace..”

“It is too much for you, I know. I told him so myself. But he had already talked with the Noldor blacksmiths in Imladris and had it made once he got the gems in his hands”  
She frowned, the little detail confusing her even more. This was a very long time ago. “Why? He didn’t know anything about my feelings and such an expensive gift was…” she let her voice fade. _This gift wasn’t meant for her_.  
“This was for your mother” she murmured and felt the weight of the words falling on her shoulders like two buckets filled with rocks. She didn’t mind that it wasn’t meant for her, but the fact that it was meant for their queen changed everything. Ely remembered Amelia, though in blur memories, and didn’t wish to ever replace her. She was and would always be the Elvenqueen. The only thing Elydir remembered as a mother figure in her life.

Legolas nodded. “I guessed he was planning on taking it with him, if he ever sailed. I suppose he had the plans for it and never got to make the necklace for her when she was alive. But he changed his mind and had it made anyway” he murmured, sitting on the bed. “In any case, I came to make sure you will wear it tonight”  
“But..” she said, following him and sitting next to him. “It was meant for _her_. I would never take something meant for a queen- _our_ queen. She will always be our queen, I cannot in good consciousness defile her name by wearing it” she said, her eyes as sad as Legolas’.  
“Ely. My sweet, kind friend” he took her hand in his own. “I know how you feel about this, I know you well enough to imagine the struggle inside you. I also know she would want him to give it to you. Think about it for a moment, Ely. It’s a way to show that he’s moving on. He will always love *nana, but.. He can loves you love another, after all these years. Ada needs love and I know you can offer him everything he needs, just as he can offer you the same”

 

She looked down at her hands, her eye falling on her father’s ring. She took it off and sighed. He wasn’t wrong. It was surprising how cool Legolas was about this –dating his father, the man that raised them both- and supportive. Elydir always feared that he would not approve of this and yet, she was relieved to be proven wrong.  
“You’re right” she said under her breath, with a nod. “I’ll wear it. But the moment I step in there, everyone will-“  
“Admire, stare, feel stunned, be uncomfortably jealous?” he asked with a smile, trying to lighten her mood.  
The lady rolled her eyes, punching his arm playfully. “I’m not made for such a dress, such jewelry, such a man. Las, I’m not made to be queen. This is a whole new life for me and I have no idea how to act” she said and lied back, closing her eyes.  
He took her hand in his own again. “If you can make my *ada happy, then you won’t have the slightest of problems. Elydir, he is king and the people come first, yes. But he’s also a ruler and one young and many years on his own. Too many years on his own. And a lot of love to give, that we all know. And the people love you –at least most of them see and recognize your good intentions and hard work. They will be more than happy to see you by his side, fitting there as always. The court can suck it up, if they don’t like it, alright?”

She left a soft chuckle, a hint of a smile on her face. “What if I screw up?” she whispered.  
The prince shrugged. “You get up and start again. _Fall and rise again_. Stop but begin again. Be serious but smile again” he stood and took the case, before he took her hand and pulled her to stand in front of the mirror.  
“Show them what it means to be the Lady of the Woodland Realm. Show them that the House of the Silver Sword really is: royalty. Because you can deny it all you want, but your family always royalty. Your blood is royal and that is not defined by only a title” he said as he closed the necklace around her neck. “Your heart was royal and will always be. You, my dear Elydir, daughter of Aegon and Onelia, are destined to be queen”

 

~*~

Damn you, prince and your talent in speechcraft.

Ely was finally ready. She dress fitted her perfectly and the necklace was not tight but also not loose around her neck. Her long, chocolate hair was falling freely on her shoulders as it dried braided and then let free, which made it smoothly wavy. Her face had a hint of makeup, to make her golden eyes look more beautiful. Once she looked at herself for the last time on the mirror, Galion hummed.  
“I admit, you look studding, my friend” he said kindly. “But, if I may” he gently removed the silver ring from her hand. “Not tonight. Let it rest for a night. I know how much it means to you, but just for a night, don’t wear it”

He had a point, it was breaking the simplicity of the outfit, when all attention would be on the dress and the necklace mainly. She sighed and smiled at him. “If I stumble and fall gloriously, please write on my grave ‘she died because she wasn’t meant to do this’”  
Galion laughed softly and offered an arm to her. “Come on knight; let me escort you to the party. Once I announce your name, though, you’re on your own. No help whatsoever”  
She nodded at him and swallowed hard. She could do this.

 

The few moments they walked were shorter than she expected. Or they were walking faster. Or she was nervous.  
_Obviously, she was nervous._  
Most of the guests were seated inside and the two of them stopped before they reach the door. “Take a deep breath and look at me” Galion said and Ely did as asked. “Thranduil worked a lot on everything for tonight. Not the feast, but you. He wanted you to be perfect and I guess he has a good reason. Try your best for him. I know you’ll do everything for him, won’t you?” he said and smiled at her.  
“Oh come now, it cannot be that obvious” she whined.  
He laughed softly again and rolled his eyes. “Call it an educated guess. Now, tell me who you are. And convince me that you’re proud of it. That’s what prince Legolas told me to tell you to prepare you”  
She huffed but she raised her shoulders, standing proudly. “Lady Elydir, first of my name. Daughter of Lord Aegon and Lady Onelia, the head of the House of the Silver Sword. The White Knight and leader of the Kingsguard, a Lady of the Woodland Realm” she said and this indeed boosted her confidence a little. She hated the full title but it always made her feel a bit more.. complete.

“Good” he said and smiled. “Let’s hope I’ll remember to mention everything”  
With that last teasing, Galion left and spoke the title correctly and almost as proudly as she said it. She could feel the tension and yet, she walked in front of the tall doors of the great hall that were wide open.  
As she looked in the room, tables were on her left and her right side, with the biggest was a bit higher than the others and straight ahead. She would walk in the middle of the vast room -that was empty so people would dance later- and then take a bow in front of her king as everyone did. Then, and only then, she was allowed to take her seat on the left side of the king and next to her uncle.

One last deep breath was all she had time to take. She started walking carefully, her eyes locked on her target and ignoring everything and everyone else. Golden eyes were locked with pale blue ones and yet, she was careful to keep her balance and confidence.  
“My liege” she said and bowed low enough to sit down, the huge, blue dress spreading around her and making her look as it was a flower, with its deep blue petals spread upon the polished floor.

Gasps. Stares. Murmurs. Glares.  
She tried to tune out everything and yet, she felt a shudder run through her spine, which she fought hard to cover. Ely also tried to ignore the fact that some people had gotten up, but she soon realized the reason behind this. A beautiful golden and silver robe hugged Thranduil’s elbows and fell back gracefully, his tunic in the same ocean blue color and fabric as her dress and the details on it were of similar pattern with her necklace. She mentally laughed, simplicity never fitted him anyway.  
No, that was a lie, Thranduil would still be gorgeous in a sack of potatoes.

 

A hand gently caressed her cheek and raised her head, so their eyes would meet again. Elydir smiled seeing the very real and sweet smile on her king’s face. The peace in his eyes. The love that changed him for the better, made him shine.  
“The circlet, really? I expected something fancier” she teased in a whisper and he grinned, before she did the same. After all, his smile was always contagious.  
Taking his hand, she stood with his help and both did a soft bow to each other, before he let the silver robes slip off his arms. He looked at a table with an elf maiden of the court in an unnaturally red color on her face and fire in her eyes. Trying to hide his amusement, he gave her the robe. “You wouldn’t mind holding it for a bit, would you?” he asked in his sweet, melodic voice which made the knight suppress a chuckle. Taking the robe, lost under his enchantment, the woman sat down and Thranduil stood in front of Elydir once more.

“My queen” he whispered and kissed her hand. “Would you do me the extraordinary honor of sharing the first dance with me?” Thranduil asked, his voice a bit louder this time. People stood and gathered around the area that the dance floor was, some curious, other charmed and others simply wanting to join in the second dance.  
With a heavy blush, she smiled shyly. “It would be my pleasure” she said and took his hand, resting the other on his shoulder. “King of my heart”

 

[Thranduil’s p.o.v.]

 

Wasn’t this night a success so far? Despite any doubts and fears, so far it was simply fantastic. Elydir was even more majestic than he thought and she seemed different. As if there was a different aura around her, one fully aware of the responsibility that would be given to her, one day in the near future. There isn’t another fitting the crown more than her.  
Music began filling the room and time felt as if it stopped, the room felt empty, the light felt lower. Or it was just the feeling of the most beautiful woman in the world dancing with him in the sweet rhythm? Thranduil couldn’t tell.  
_So blind, all this time._

The dress was a success, so one cookie for Thranduil because it was meant to be a gift anyway. The necklace though... _She was born to wear that necklace._ She was born for this, she had it inside her. It was natural to stand by his side, filled with grace and light, and now it was more obvious than ever.  
He was deeply in love with her and he wanted a life with her. And she wanted the same.  
Another cookie for Thranduil.

 

“Did you just call me cookie?” Ely whispered, with a smirk.  
“Did I say that out loud?” he asked and she chuckled softly. “I was congratulating myself for my choices. The dress was the result of many hours of arguments and many ideas that were all so amazing but none of them _right_. So, one cookie for me” he said and smiled.  
She laughed and let the dress fly around her as a wave of the sea, before she pulled away and then back at him, continuing the dance. “Well, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. So yes, one cookie is yours” she said, making him smile happily.  
“The necklace though..” he started, only to spin her around and hug her from behind, their dance fluent as if they didn’t even speak. “I was afraid you wouldn’t wear it”  
“I almost dropped it when I opened the case” she murmured, leaning her head back, resting on his shoulder.  
“I knew you were strong and wouldn’t faint” he teased and smiled widely. “You were born to wear it. It’s yours and it wouldn’t fit anyone else as it fits you. You are.. divine. As if you are a spirit, send by the Valar to give me peace”

Cheeks flushed instantly and she span around again, ending up in his arms once again. He pressed a soft kiss on her hand, before they continued dancing.  
“I think they send you to me. A gift from them: after all the darkness, they sent me the moon and the stars; all inside your eyes”  
The king smiled, though unused to compliments, this made a soft pink shade rest upon his cheeks. “You are beautiful, Elydir. Even more than you think. I feel the need to let you know that every man in the room is now dreaming of you and will do so for a few days, as every woman will either admire you or curse you. You, my dear, are a queen without being one. Not just for me, but for many others as well in this room. And not because of the outfit”

 

[Elydir’s p.o.v.]

 

The song was coming to its end and they slowed down, now slow dancing and more couples joining them on the dance floor. “I thought about it” she whispered. “I will be your queen; under one condition”  
He tilted his head, as a puppy that couldn’t comprehend with the command it was told to follow, but nodded. _Focus, Ely! Resist the cuteness!_  
“Until the time comes, even when the people know, I will be treated as I am now. Nothing more than that. I’ll be your commander and your assistant and your knight, while also your future wife. I don’t want anyone to think I slept with you to gain anything or that you decided to marry me out of pity. Or whatever else they will think of. I’ve heard the whispers and know what people say about me already and I don’t care, but I don’t want them to speak ill for you. Let’s not give them the satisfaction of proving you’re favoring me”

He nodded again. “I respect that and will do as you ask of me” he said and rested his forehead against hers for a single moment. A soft smile spread on Elydir’s lips, the short but sweet action giving her butterflies in her stomach. “I guess I could steal a walk with you or an afternoon to rest, though” she added a moment later and both chuckled. “I love you”  
Blue eyes met golden and for the first time in forever, they showed pure love. Thranduil had let her in completely as she had as well. They were one now, as they were always supposed to be. “I love you more”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * nana = mom (naneth = mother)  
> * ada = dad (adar = father)


	13. How well do you know me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The feast ends, after Elydir shares a dark detail about herself with Thranduil. Everything is good for Elydir, though not for Cadeyrn.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains a rape attempt mention.

“To the king!” cups raised and people stood, as the feast continued with dancing and drinking and eating. The night was magical and despite the looks from -more or less- everyone in the room, Elydir was enjoying herself.  
Legolas had the most amused smile Ely could remember upon his face and that was the reason she occasionally threw things to him. She laughed loudly when she threw him a piece of bread, that hit his face and made him fall off his chair. Not many seemed to notice, but her uncle, on her left, chuckled and Thranduil, on her right, looked at her but couldn’t help the smirk that climbed on their lips.

After a dance with her uncle and warm compliments and encouraging words, Ely took her leave and visited the gardens that were open for everyone and looked beautiful under the autumn sky. The moon shined brightly, yet the stars seemed to have their own celebration. The knight walked between the flowers that surrounded each side of the paths. Winter was approaching fast and many of them were already starting to lose their colors or healthy looks, yet roses were always beautiful. The most beautiful.

 

“ _What other flower would look so wonderful and smell so heavenly but the flower with the sharpest thorns to keep it safe? Embrace the passion but be dangerous enough to kill in a single touch?_ ” she murmured, recalling an old poem she had read. She walked in the rose garden, with the fountain of the Lady of Stars in the middle and sat on the cold stone, running her fingers on the water’s surface.

“ _And what flower could fit a woman better than this one, I wonder, oh Eru? That you created the maiden with the silken hair and then the flower that suited her so perfectly?_ ” a voice continued the poem, one she would recognize anywhere. “ _Oh creator of them all, how could you? To give us such a bright flower, hiding such darkness inside? Passion and danger, light and darkness. My maiden sings and flowers die, so her own can rise_ ” Thranduil finished the poem and next to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close to him.  
With a smile of pure happiness, Elydir leaned back, resting against his chest and enjoying his warmth. “You’re cold” he stated, holding her closer.  
“Not with you here” she murmured, eyes closing. “Thranduil, is this a dream? Can this night get any better? I’m _happy_. I can barely believe that things are actually getting better in my life”  
The king smiled and kissed her cheek. “They are, my queen. And they will continue to become better, I promise you that”

 

A moment of silence, the sweetest silence there was, passed and Ely opened her eyes. “I didn’t know you read poetry”  
“I write poetry” he murmured almost shyly. “I used to, at least. I have a small book with them, Amelia loved to read them. She was my inspiration and with her gone, the inspiration left” he said and nuzzled in her neck. “Although I believe I found another muse to inspire me. The Maiden with the Feather and the Sword. Is there a title more fitting in your poem but this one?”

A soft chuckle left her lips. “Stop it, I’m red already” she said and he smiled, placing a gentle kiss on her neck. “I feel strange” she said and turned to look at him, careful not to let the dress get wet from the fountain’s water.

Thranduil looked at her and tilted his head again, which made her smile. “You remind me of a puppy when you do this. Adorable, irresistible, cute” she murmured and cupped his face. A smile lit his face, but he waited for her to explain her words. “It’s strange that I feel such peace within me. There’s no voice in the back of my head whispering dark words. No more looking at people and wishing I had a life like they do. It’s like.. I’m getting used to what I am, the life I have, only because it gets better. As if I’m slowly accepting both who I am and the life I have had all this time”

“Darling, I want you to be happy and I’m more than happy to know that but..” Thranduil took her hands in his, kissing them. “You shouldn’t be jealous of anyone’s life. Everyone have problems they don’t show to the world. Do you show yours? The pains, the difficulties you face every day or the worry and fear in your heart?”  
She nodded. “I agree with that, but.. Can the difficulties of a farmer be compared to the difficulties of a soldier?”  
The Elvenking laughed softly, stroking her cheek. “No, never” he said and looked in her eyes. “The farmer has far greater problems”  
Elydir laughed as well, leaning in the soft touch. “You’re right. It’s just my silly thoughts, ignore them”

 

“No” the king said softly. “I won’t ignore a single part of you. Never again. I did this for years and only now I see all the little things I missed. Do you know I know so many things for you and I wasn’t even aware that I did? You’re allergic to lavender and dislike mushrooms, you like the music of stringed instruments and know how to play the piano, although you don’t have time to practice. You love poetry and history and dislike the art of healing, but you’re an expert on herbal baths. You have a pet hawk, which only your guard knows and you’re trained him yourself. You even do this little thing with your nose every time you find something stupid, but try not to point out you disagree. My dear Ely, I even know the side of the bed you prefer and so many little things about you that even I am surprised”  
With red cheeks, she his her face on the side of his neck. “You have much to learn” she teased and he held her close. “But do tell me something else. Something I didn’t tell you but you noticed”

Thranduil hummed, accepting the challenge and kissing her hair softly. “You like cleanness and order in your personal space, either it’s your house or room or office. You organize everything, from your scrolls and reports in your office to your clothes and weaponry. Order comes to you naturally, not only because of the life of a soldier. You also hate insects but you tolerate butterflies and fireflies because of their beauty. I dare say I know you keep your clothes outside the bathroom, so they won’t get wet somehow, which I found out a morning that you tip toed naked in the bedroom to get your clothes and get dressed”  
A heavy blush made her bite her lips. “You were supposed to be sleeping” she whispered, pulling back only a little, to rest her head to his shoulder.  
“I was tempted to join you” he replied in the same tone, leaning close for a kiss, but stopping a breath away. “Which brings us to another conversation topic”

 

One arm was still wrapped around her waist, holding her close, as the other cupped her cheek; his thumb gently stroking the soft skin. “Don’t you think it’s time for us to.. take this a step further?” he whispered.  
Elydir didn’t dare to meet her eyes yet, but lean into the soft touch anyway. “Thran, I..”  
“I know” he cut her words. “And I know how important this is for you. I’m no fool, Ely, I can read a woman that wants the company of people in her bed and those that keep themselves for someone special. And you do exactly that, which is why I don’t want to force you to do anyth-”

“You’re that one for me” she cut his words, placing her fingers on his lips and finally meeting her eyes. “You are the one I want to give myself to. Not even Cadeyrn made me feel the way I feel with you, meleth nin. A kiss from yours lips lights fires on my entire body, in a way a hundred kisses of his couldn’t. I want this. Badly, trust me. I simply worry…”  
“Tell me why” he whispered, icy blue eyes meeting bright golden. “What is it that troubles my queen’s mind?”

 

She hesitated, lowered her eyes before another word left her lips. “I have never.. be touched by anyone that I wanted”  
In that, the king frowned. “I don’t understand what you’re telling me right now”  
Elydir took a shaky breath. “I was 1000 years old, maybe more, I was close to the final missions to claim my title as a White Knight” she started, Thranduil paying all his attention in her words and already worried about where the knight was going. His body was still and Ely could swear he wasn’t even breathing “I was used to being bullied and beaten a lot, but with time people simply ignored me. But I wasn’t prepared.. I- I fought, but..”  
“Elydir” Thranduil said, cupping her face with both his hands. “What happened?”

“They didn’t..” her whole body shook in the memories. “They only managed to take my clothes off. A group of men, I couldn’t see their faces. It w- was dark and l- late and I was returning h- home” her voice started breaking. “Lord Arcadus stopped them and took me to the kitchens, then called my uncle. I- I was beaten, but conscious and they tried to…”  
Tears ran on her cheeks, while Thranduil’s anger boiled in his chest, and yet the view of her so hurt broke his heart. She could feel his anger, his heart beating faster, but also his gentleness proved he wanted to be there for her more than anything else at the moment. It stung worse that a blade in her chest to recall that night. His arms wrapped around her and Ely tried to stop the tears from falling, not wishing to destroy the night.  
“N- No, it’s fine. I’m fine” she said, yet didn’t move to leave the embrace. “I never told anyone. But the hands, rough and cold and.. The very memory disgusts me” she murmured, relaxing in the warmth and scent she loved.

 

“I can’t believe that being half human caused all these to happen to a person as amazing as you” he murmured softly.  
“This was the excuse, Thran. My father was the reason behind all of my suffering, is mistakes” she said and pulled back, wiping the tears. “He was loyal and he was good, but he was corrupted. He served the crown and loved you and felt like you were his own brother. But he helped the wealthy in ways I never did. He tried to keep the people happy but never left the court displeased. That’s the reason why I’m punished. My mother, my existence.. Everything ruined their extra incomes and luxuries and as Mirkwood grows sicker and sicker, if he was alive today, we would barely made it through a few winters. Celeborn agreed after I told him my thoughts, no more than a century after I got my title. I serve you and I serve the people. I serve justice and he didn’t, not fully. That’s why I’m hated and punished. Propaganda poisoned people’s head and that lead to a strong hate against me. My partly human blood served as an excuse, but nothing more”

The king looked at her, only to lean close and pressed his lips to hers, in a slow, loving kiss. It helped the lady feel better, but he didn’t do it to change the subject, as she guessed at the beginning. “You, lady Elydir of the House of the Silver Sword” he breathed against her lips. “You are wiser and braver than any other woman I know. You never gave in. You never stopped fighting, trying to fix he mistakes of your own father. You are the one that should rule beside me and there’s nothing that will change my mind about that” he said and smiled.

 

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. “You destroyed my dramatic monologue”  
“Well, you’re full of them” he teased with a light shrug. “Elven-drama-queen”  
She threw him water from the fountain and both laughed, but soon shared another hug and another kiss. “I love you, every minute even more. And I want you to know that whenever you wish to try, we can try. We don’t have to make love directly, Ely, we can take steps. One step at a time”

She hummed and left a soft sigh. “This doesn’t sound bad” she murmured and stroked his cheek. “But you don’t seem surprised by what I’ve told you about ada”  
“Because I knew” he replied. “Just as I knew of your try to fix this. The black market closing? It was covered as a random finding of illegal trade but I knew what really happened. The months you tried to locate it and infiltrate it, the fight. Elves were lost and I bet your guard knew of it and helped as well; those lost were fully aware what they were up against. I know of all the things in my realm, Ely, that was never a joke I just said. The attack you told me, I didn’t know. Perhaps some things I don’t know indeed. But I know most of them. I don’t want to have any secrets with you and you with me, alright?”

 

Nodding, she sighed. “Then, perhaps one day, I’ll tell you of something… I’ve swore never to tell another about. One day. I am not ready to speak of it, nor do I wish to ruin this night. I have already, partly” Elydir kissed his cheek. “Tell me one thing. Are you proud of me? Of the person I have become?”  
“I always was and always will be” he smiled and looked in her golden eyes. “Always”

She stood and took his hand, Thranduil following. He let her hand, though, and took his outer robes off, the silver and golden fabric flying in the air for a moment, before it was placed around Elydir’s shoulders and wrapped around her as a cape would, falling majestically and covering her back before falling on the floor much like a waterfall would. “Queenly enough” the king teased and kissed her one last time, before they both walked inside, Ely’s hand resting around Thranduil’s muscular forearm.

 

~*~

 

“There’s absolutely no possibility this will happen”  
“I don’t understand the absolute tone in your voice, my lord”  
“Then I should make it even clearer for you, my lady. We won’t do that”  
Another argument was taking place in the council halls, where a weekly meeting was taking place. Yet, this morning the king and prince were not with the rest of the court. Today the Royal Family decided to take a day off, which meant Elydir and Tauriel taking over for a bit. Rare. But still acceptable.

“Should we tell them?” Tauriel asked, sipping her tea and leaning on the chair’s arm, closer to Elydir.  
“That we cannot afford the upgrade anyway? No, let them argue” She replied with a shrug and both fought not to chuckle, but soon Tauriel presented to the members why their idea of upgrading the walls around the river was not a possibility not due to lack of materials, but of the required cost was too high and because the weather was not in favor of constructions.

 

Yet, Ely’s attention lied on the elf lord that avoided her very existence. Cadeyrn had become distant, which made sense after their break up. Yet, this was something else. Anger, disappointment, even pity. She felt all these when their eyes met, even accidentally.  
The Knight wouldn’t allow this, though. No matter what had happened, he was still her friend and a person she wanted in her life. He didn’t appear in the feast or the week after, with the excuse of a trip to Dale; yet Ely was no fool, she knew Cadeyrn hated the city because ‘it smelled awfully a lot like fish’ as he had mentioned in the past.  
Once the meeting had finally ended, Elydir asked Tauriel to let the notes in her study, before she walked fast and took Cadeyrn’s hand. Without a word, she pulled him towards the gardens.

 

~*~

 

[Cadeyrn’s p.o.v.]

 

This was pathetic.

In all his years and all the kingdoms he had been, from all the people he had met, this had to be the worst. The idiocy of those people, that these weekly meetings proved to be beyond any level, count drive a sane person insane within a month.  
Yet, nothing bothered him more than two certain golden pupils that felt glued on him. Elydir seemed to have noticed Cadeyrn’s change. That trip he used as an excuse was an actual trip, just not to Dale. There was a large cave system in the borders of the realm in the west and there was where the remaining Followers of the Fallen Vala were. He and his aunt Erwarth had been back in planning about Thranduil’s downfall, but this time no warning or any kind of sign would be seen until the actual assassination.

 

Melkor had somehow predicted most of the events of history and so, before he was captured and sent to the Void, he had already left behind a team of loyal servants, hidden even from his lieutenant. And now the Followers were preparing to strike on the first elven kingdom, before the others. Imladris was next and Lothlorien then. Then Men would be an easy target, if the other three realms were under Melkor’s control.

The escape was a few months away and that meant more work in the shadows. Yet, Cad fought hard to manage and do everything he was asked to do by his aunt. Elydir was in his mind and the pain of her decision was constantly making him want to mourn or to murder someone. Anger and sadness. Disappointment, partly, both because this amazing woman couldn’t be in his life and because she didn’t want to be. This was the most painful part, that she loved someone else. Who was that other man that she had in her heart and how could he be better than him?  
Unfortunately, this query was answered the night of the feast.

 

Having just returned in the palace, Cadeyrn skillfully avoided all guards and simply went to relax and hold himself from doing anything terribly stupid in the dance that was taking place in the great halls. He was hidden behind the tall rose bushes, resting his back against a tree and thinking. A dying red rose was in his arms, one that surprisingly reminder him of her. Beautiful, destroyed and yet strong.  
A voice was heard, but he ignored it, before he realized that the woman had the same voice with…

He stood and stealthily, he hid in the bushes and tried to see who was sitting on the fountain’s edge. He could barely stop the gasp that threatened to fall from his lips when he saw Elydir, more stunning than ever and the king himself to hold her in his arms, kiss her knuckles or cup her cheeks. This made his blood boiled with rage and he wanted to jump and cut the blond’s neck right then and there, yet Elydir’s words caught his attention.

 

“ _Thran, I.._ ” she said softly, looking down and obviously trying to find words to say something.  
“ _I know_ ” he spoke and touched her again. Cad clenched his fist so much that his nails dug his palm. “ _And I know how important this is for you. I’m no fool, Ely, I can read a woman that wants the company of people in her bed and those that keep themselves for someone special. And you do exactly that, which is why I don’t want to force you to do anyth-_ ”  
“ _You’re that one for me_ ” she interrupted him, suddenly making Cadeyrn’s body freeze. So he was the one all alone. The one she loved, the one her heart belonged to. The one that never let her to fully love him. “ _You are the one I want to give myself to. Not even Cadeyrn made me feel the way I feel with you, *meleth nin. A kiss from yours lips lights fires on my entire body, in a way a hundred kisses of his couldn’t. I want…_ ”  
Everything felt slower than usual. As if time had froze, sound faded and nothing was heard now. This is how she really felt; kisses that made his breath stick on the back of his neck, sweet and meaningful kisses were.. Nothing to her?  
He got away from them, before walking inside the palace and straight to his chambers. He had never felt anger and hatred as strong as he felt for Thranduil Oropherion.

 

Thankfully, the meeting was over. Gathering his things, he walked towards the exit and was surprised when he felt delicate fingers wrap around his own and pulling him. He looked at the lady confused but followed, not wishing to create a scene in front of the others.  
Once in the gardens, he gently freed his hand. “Are you alright?” she asked, golden eyes searching his for the answer. He looked away.  
“Fine, as always, my lady” he replied simply, with a soft shrug, before turning and walking under the trees.  
Elydir followed beside him. “I know you a little better than that, so why don’t you try again?” she asked, walking in front of him.  
Anger flashed in his eyes for a moment, remembering the words he heard a few weeks ago. “What is it you want, Elydir? More for me before you tell me you found better?” he growled and walked passed her, but immediately regretted being so cold to her. From the one hand, she deserved much worse, but.. He loved her too much to hurt her.

 

Frozen as she was, he stopped and his shoulders fell, before he turned around. “I’m not.. Dealing with this very well” he said after a moment of silence. He saw her not moving a single muscle and walked in front of her again. “I miss you” he murmured.  
She looked up, in his eyes and blinked tears back. “I miss you too” she whispered. “Just not in the same way you do” she added fast.  
“You’ve changed” he said, caressing her cheek and gently removing a tear that ran down her cheek. “You’re brighter. I see hope and happiness and confidence. I see a person that is complete and satisfied with the life she has. I see the Elydir I wanted you to be with me. All those things that I wanted to give you. I am not the one that gives them to you, though” he said and cupped her face. “But I’m happy someone does anyway”

In that, the knight threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I wish, Cad” she whispered, face buried in his black hair. “I really wish I could be with you and feel all the love you feel for me. I wish I could return every drop of the sea of emotions you have inside you. I truly do”  
He held her close, one arm around her waist and one stroking her hair. “I know, my sweet lady” he murmured, kissing her hair. “I believe you want to, but you cannot. I understand that. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at me. My life, my choices, my destiny..”

 

She didn’t pull back or speak for a few more minutes, but eventually she took a step away from him and wiped her eyes. “That’s why I asked you to stay in my life, but I see that this causes you more pain. I’m sorry. I feel so guilty, such a horrible person…”  
He stopped her, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Don’t do this to yourself. Love has many forms and many strange ways to break people. I’m broken, Ely, but not forever. I’ll heal. I’ll just need time”

He avoided mentioning anything about what he witnessed in the gardens that night. He only took her hands and kissed the back of her palms before giving her the best smile he could master. “Speak to me if you feel the need to, it’ll only make me happy” he said and let their hands fall, unwillingly pulling away and walking towards the palace.  
“Oh, Ely?” he asked, looking at her over his shoulder. “In the feast, that night, you had to be Eru’s most beautiful creation”

 

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *meleth nin = my love


	14. Haters will always hate, I suppose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ely has a conversation with her assistant that brings her joy, but it seems that hate will poison every good moment she has. And, even if she doesn't show it, Elydir cares. And it's exhausting.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

The beautiful night the king and the knight shared did not go unnoticed. Even if time has passed since then, word has spread that there was so much more between the Elvenking and the White Knight than people used to believe. And it was getting obvious, more and more each day.

Taking a short break, Elydir took her assistant, Irindul, and walked in the streets of the main city of the caverns, where the palace was as well as the main gate of the realm.  
“You’ll see things will be so much easier” Ely reassured her friend, continuing a conversation they had as they walked down the stairs of the palace.

 

Irindul -Rin, as she called him- was a brunet elf, a little shorter than Elydir and very kind. When he was recruited, people thought he wouldn’t make it through the years of training to serve in the Kingsguard, but he did it. His mind is sharper than his sword- or his arrows, to put it better. Rin might not be the best fighter but he was an excellent marksman and his arrows rarely miss their target.

Much like Elydir, he was a quiet elf, kind-hearted and sweet but shy. Though in his job, he transformed into the perfect assistant. Sometimes Ely thought he was more fitting to the title of the White Knight than she was, as his values and beliefs were noble and he was pure of heart. Even Ely had blood on her hands and hate in her heart, no matter how she hid both of these facts about her. Irindul was so pure, it was always refreshing and giving her a reason to keep going.  
If she knew one thing, that was that without his help and support, Elydir wouldn’t be the person she is now.

 

“I’m still uncertain, my lady, but I trust your judgement” he replied. Walking next to her, in the crowd, he leaned closer for a moment. “I have to say, my lady.. You have the Guard’s true faith; no one shall judge you if.. you know, there’s anything you wish to announce in the future”  
Elydir frowned at that statement. “What makes you think that I do?” She asked, making the elf’s face change, as worry color his fair features. “You haven’t offended me, worry not. That statement was just so random. You caught me by surprise”  
Irindul seemed to relax a bit, but rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Well.. I do not endorse nor spread gossip, as you know my lady, but-”  
“Rin” Ely interrupted. “Speak your mind, my friend. I value your opinion highly, I want to hear what you believe to be true”

People worked around the market, minding their own businesses and barely giving any attention to the two of them. They reach the fountain in the middle of the square -the same square she once sang with Cadeyrn- and took a seat next to each other.  
“My lady, things have changed. I feel it all around me. Your presence by the king’s side, that dance in the feast, little moments that striked me as odd in the past… Even a blind person could see that there is something going on with the two of you” he said, his voice almost a whisper.  
Ely looked around the people for a moment, processing his words and trying to understand his opinion on the matter. “Which, I take it, you don’t approve of” she replied, a moment later.

“No, no no!” He shook his head. “No, that’s not it! I do! I’ve been around you for so long that I can see how happy you are. A whole new person, really. It’s a very good change and I’m honestly content to see you like this. The others agree with me. You’ve made us what we are, lady Elydir; every person in there owes you a lot. One way or another you took orphans and abused children, outsiders and people without home and you have them purpose. You offered us a life of honor and we will always owe that to you” he smiled.  
The half elf blushed, as praise was rare to her and always making her so happy but also so uncomfortable. “Come now, Rin. I’m not a saint-”

“To us, you are a savior. If 'saint' is a heavy word for you, you can try and accept it in time” he interrupted her, with a smile. “The civilians, the politicians around the court or even the other commanders cannot see it, but the Kingsguard is not just an elite force. It’s a family” Irindul took her hand in his own -thing uncommon for elves and that included him as well- and looked at her with his warm brown eyes filled with kindness.  
“You should become a politician, you’re wasting your talent in the Guard” she smiled, cheeks still red. “I have never been prouder of anything in my life more than this Guard. I’ve worked hard -as all of you have as well- and I’m just so proud to see it be an actual family. So many of you were little when I met you. I remember you as a little elfling, always with your little blue book or eating pears”  
Irindul chuckled softly. “I love that book. And pears” he admitted. 

Ely smiled and squeezed her friend’s hand gently. “The only recognition I seek is from the king and those that fight with me. Knowing you all are happy being members of the Kingsguard is enough for me to be happy. Moral is important anyway, since skill and strategy are two areas well-covered” she lightly joked. It wasn’t just moral, though and she knew Rin meant his words.  
“You’re an amazing leader and person, lady Elydir. More people should see that. If the king saw that and loved that in you, then we are all happy and proud to support this union. What matters is that you’re both happy and safe. And you two together -our two strongest warriors- means both of you will always be safe”

“You fancy idiot” Elydir’s eyes were filled with tears at this point and, for a short moment, Irindul’s smile faded. But she moved and embraced her friend and assistant, reassuring him he did nothing wrong. Though he hesitated at first, eventually the elf embraced her back. “Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for everything, through all we’ve been” she whispered.  
“You don’t have to thank me for anything, my lady. I follow you and will always do so until the end of time” he promised.

 

~*~

 

The two warriors continued their stroll, but soon they needed to return to their duties. Taking the road back to the palace, they met a passing patrol of the palace guard and stopped for a word. As they were chatting, Irindul noticed a few old ladies behind them speaking- scratch that, gossiping rather loudly.

“She seduced him” one of them said. She seemed to be the oldest of all. “That dirty woman managed to wrap herself around him and ruined him!”  
The others seemed to keep their voices lower, but mostly agree.  
“He’s a widower for ages, Mariel, he deserves love. And the girl is not that bad. She has helped us with many things, keeps us safe too” another replied. Ely noticed Irindul was looking away and followed his gaze curiously.  
“Nonesense!” The first one replied. “She cannot be a queen! She is not even worth to be the Knight, she’s of tainted blood. Weak”

 

“Excuse me” Irindul walked to them. Ely tried to grab his hand, but she wasn’t fast enough. Instead she followed hastily.  
“Rin, let it go” she said softly, but the elven knight seemed to ignore her command.  
“You speak of a woman of wisdom and skill that possesses such a title. A woman of honor. She fought in wars and kept you safe, it’s her Guard that keeps the city safe. Her Guard and she that has kept the royal family alive for ages. How dare you speak so ill of her, just because she’s not fully an elf?”

The woman stood and squeezed her eyes, looking angrily at Irindul. “She’s not worth the titles! Definitely not worth being by the king’s side! The little whore must’ve spread her legs for him and he fell right into her trap, desperate as he was” she said bitterly. “All men are weak to the temptation of an easy woman”  
“You watch your mouth, lady” Rin held the hilt of his sword. The woman probably failed to recognized Elydir in simple clothes and not in armor and her characteristic white cape, so she continued.  
“Irindul, please let it go. We need to leave” she said softly, gently pulling him away from her.  
“Ha! Even her knights are weak. Letting a woman do whatever she wants with you. She has no honor to defend, boy. Leave that dirty whore and find a decent job” the old woman spat, a smirk of victory on her lips.

 

Shy, quiet Irindul was what people knew. But in the rare cases he was angry, that person faded and a different one took his place. Which is what had just happened and he pulled his sword out -freeing his arm from Elydir’s grip- and holding the sword’s tip almost in her eye.  
“Be careful of your words when you speak of my commander, do you understand me?” He almost yelled. At this moment the whole market was watching the incident, the passing patrol also frozen and watching. “You are no better, to speak like this for someone that has sacrificed everything for you all and in return accepts your hatred!”

“Irindul, that’s enough” Elydir called in a steady voice. The woman must’ve realized who she was now. “It’s hardly the first time I hear these things. Put the sword down, right now”  
“Why?” Irindul screamed. “Why letting these people poison your every day -your whole life- and not take action against it? What have they done for this realm, huh? Have they fought for it? Bled for it? Have they reached death and barely escaped it? Have they done all the things you did?”  
“That’s enough!” Elydir’s voice echoed, loud and clear, so loud that she felt that it echoed almost through the whole cave system. Her face grew red from the effort to raise her voice so much, but she quickly returned to her pale shade.

Elydir rarely raised her voice, even in training sessions; the only expedition being her thunderous arguments with the king. That made Irindul lower his weapon, which Ely quickly took from his hands. “We are warriors, we protect those in need; we keep the realm safe from harm, our royal family alive, our forest clear. Whoever doesn’t respect our efforts fails to appreciate safety itself. We do not force people to appreciate us, Irindul. They can believe whatever they want, for all I care! I follow my oaths and duties and so should you!” She said loudly enough for everyone to hear. “My consciousness is clean. Every warrior and patrol does its job. We seek approval from no one, but our ruler. Is this understood?”

Elydir threw the weapon on the ground and pulled Irindul behind her, now facing the woman. It was another thing that had bothered Elydir, something small but quite upsetting to her. “Your opinion of me is nothing I care about. But..” upset as she was, her shoulders looked broader and the woman took a step back, feeling threatened.  
“..should you ever speak of your king like this again, I have every right to arrest you for public vilification of the crown. You do disrespect king Thranduil again, do you understand me?”

 

Truth was she could sit there and list the countless reasons why he deserved the respect of everybody, but Ely guessed the atmosphere was already too tensed to push it even further. Her angry expression and deadly golden eyes should be enough.  
Takin a step back, she looked at Irindul, who looked so embarrassed by his reaction. He lowered his gaze immediately as the Knight looked at her.  
“Let us go, we have work to do” she called to the patrol, her voice back to its normal tone.  
“White Knight?” The old lady called and the moment Elydir turned to look at her again, the woman spat right on her face.

Swords were pulled and spears were pointed to the woman immediately, with some guards yelling at her to kneel, but Elydir raised her hand, stopping them.  
“Stand down, soldiers! Let her go” she called, accepting a napkin someone offered her and cleaning her face.

“I do not endorse abuse of power of any kind, so I won’t use it to punish someone that disrespects me. You’re free to go. But you’re not allowed to enter the palace for any reason again. That I can do, when I consider a person a thread for he king’s safety” she called, turning to the patrol again. “Spread the woman’s banishment from all grounds of His Majesty’s home to all guards”

Walking away, followed by the patrol, Irindul had the brightest smile on his face; all embarrassment faded from his features. The woman was screaming insults, upset that she was banished from attending all feasts and events in the palace. Elydir’s expression was emotionless though.  
She was actually very upset. But her assistant seemed so pleased by the clever revenge Elydir got at woman's disrespectful action that she didn’t want to show how deeply this had affected her. She simply offered him a wink and a half smile, as they returned to the palace.

 

~*~

 

The sun had set and even if she had gotten a bath and changed clothes twice, Ely still felt dirty. As if this woman’s words had stuck with her, stinking her day and every action she did. The sensation of hatred stick on her skin and she could not get rid of it, no matter how much she rubbed the sponge on it.  
She entered Thranduil’s study, hoping she could manage and hide her bad mood behind the excuse of hard work.

“My king” she smiled softly, walking to him and kissing his cheek as she stood next his chair. He turned his head upwards to peck her lips gently.  
“My queen” he smiled, his voice velvet. With a quick and unexpected movement, he pulled her to sit on his lap, making the knight giggle softly. He held her close and kissed her sweetly, making her forget of the horrible day she had so far. “I think that’s a better greeting” he murmured, though his smile faded a bit when he looked at her. “What’s wrong?”

 

Ely shook her head gently. “Nothing. Another tiring day, nothing worth mentioning really. Except from a very sweet conversation with my assistant, that assured me that he and the Kingsguard guards are happy that we have something going on. Also mentioned it’s too obvious to miss. Irindul’s such a sweet and gentle soul; I don’t deserve his assistance, nor his friendship”

“Is that so?” The king asked, quite pleased. “This makes me very happy. To know more and more approve of us” he stroked her cheek. “But are you sure there isn’t more? Your eyes are so sad tonight, my darling. Should I be worried?”  
Ely sat up a bit, still sitting on his lap and rested her forehead against his for a moment. Eyes closed and silence surrounding them, the Lady let all of her negativity fade and her love’s presence to calm her.  
“Just a headache from all the paperwork. Nothing to worry about, my love. Dinner and sleep in your arms is more than enough to make me feel better”

 

She hoped that he would bite it and he actually seemed to bite it, to Elydir’s surprise. Nuzzling their noses together, Thranduil hummed softly and then pecked her lips once more. “So you wouldn’t tell me about the incident in the market today?” He whispered.  
Elydir’s golden eyes opened and met the icy blue of the king’s, that was surprisingly calm. “I’ve told you: I know everything that happens in my realm” he stroked her cheek.

She looked away from his eyes. The negativity didn’t leave after all and pressing the matter seemed to upset her all over again.  
“Know that I’m very, very proud of you” the Elvenking offered softly. “That I’m so pleased by the way you handled such a delicate situation, with so many civilians and military officers, without any arrests or violence. Everyone else would’ve arrested her and the argument would’ve ended there. You proved that honor and justice can be enforced without violence or power. I’m so proud of the woman you have become. Of the queen you’ll make, one day” Thranduil said and nuzzled against her neck, hugging her tightly.  
This was exactly what she needed. A hug. A tight, long-lasting embrace, filled with love and support. Thranduil knew her need of approval -from him and only- and knew when to offer it. And Ely needed it now.

Though instead of calming her, the embrace pushed the tears she held back to fall. She suddenly started shaking, which made the king pull back and look at her.  
“I- I don’t know why I’m crying, I’m sorry” she sniffed her nose, trying to stop the tears. The king cupped her face and gently pushed her tears away.  
“Because your worse fears were openly spoken” he whispered. “Because words always hurt and because you’ve kept it in you for so long. And I’m sorry they hurt you like this. But know that I mean my words. I am proud of you and I love you. Let the world think whatever they wish, I’ll still love you for who you are”

A sob left her lips and Ely ended up spending the following minutes sobbing in his arms. Once she had cried enough to stop shaking, she rested against his chest silently. “Let’s just go to sleep” she whispered. She was too tired to speak or even eat at this point.  
“Sure you don’t want to talk about it anymore?” The Elvenking asked, kissing the top of her head.  
“Talk about what? The open hate? It’s nothing new for me” she murmured. “Knight or lady or queen, it’ll always be there. I don’t have anything else to say about it. I won’t let it change me”

 

[Thranduil’s p.o.v.]

 

The king kissed her head again and stood, still holding her in his arms. He carried her to his chambers, ignoring the few guards that were outside his study and his chambers. After all, they were Elydir’s knights, he thought. He let her lie on his bed and helped her change in a clean shirt of his, before changing too and pulling her close.

How fragile she seemed like this. Broken. Elydir was so strong exactly because she was so damaged. And Thranduil knew she was affected by such incidents, even if she always hid it and many times too successfully. Even he couldn’t read her sometimes; and he knew her too well.

 

“Can I ask for a belly rub? With everything that has happened, I have my crazy hormones and the back pain of my lady days. I could use some relief” she murmured.  
Happy to help, he gently rubbed her lower stomach, applying more and more pressure, to a comfortable degree for her. He could feel her relax more and more under his touch.  
“Last time we did his, we were in your bed and it was the first time you spent whole night in my arms” he said softly.  
Smiling at the memory, she closed her eyes. “I was so mad and in such pain. But I couldn’t stay away, I needed you” she murmured.  
“And I was there. And will always be” he promised.

 

She fell asleep fast, exhausted as she was. But the king stayed awake, holding her for a while. There would be many challenges like this coming for both of them, until there is a public statement for their relationship. But Elydir wished more time in the shadows, more time to find out if there are remaining people that wish to harm him. More time as a knight and not a queen. He stroked her hair gently.

Oh, how much he loved her. And he would protect her from everything, he swore this to himself. Even if no one wanted them together, he would still be with her. He would still marry her and be happy with her. Whatever it takes, he thought. Even if he had to leave Eryn Lasgalen, to make sure she’s safe and happy.

 

~*~


	15. Just another pawn?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cadeyrn and the followers of Melkor gather to talk about the current turn of events.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a transitional chapter, so sorry it's so smol. :S

[Cadeyrn’s p.o.v.]

 

Erwarth groaned and hit her hands against her desk. “She gains more and more supporters every day. How is this possible?” She called. There were many people in the room, all faces Cad knew well.

Politicians, a few generals, members of the elite class, then lower supporters with great influence and people that wanted to gain as much gold as they could from Thranduil’s fall. It was surprising how money could make people forget of alliances and oaths so easily.  
“Her public appearances are careful, her words promote honor and respect. It’s not like we don’t try to get her out of line. She’s just good, selling the image of someone pure of heart and people trust that”

“She was bullied since she was little, she grew up inside a pool of hate. I doubt you’ll manage to anger her that much or offend her to a point she’ll make a mistake” Cadeyrn said, from the back of the room, where he leaned against a wall.

 

All that had gathered in this secret meeting turned to look at him. Cad had come close with Elydir, enough to know her weaknesses and flaws. Enough to know how to harm her. But he didn’t share any of those facts, not with any of those people. Not even with his aunt.   
Truth was he still cared. His words to her were true. No matter how many years he has roamed this earth, he hadn’t felt like this for another before. Even if he refused to admit it to others.

His aunt knew, of course. There weren’t many things that he could hide from Erwarth, as she knew him too well and he couldn't hide behind his words.  
Erwarth looked at him angrily. “Then what do you suggest? We cannot touch Thranduil if she’s still in the way”  
“Why take her out of the board..” he started, as he walked closer to her desk. “..when you can get her on the very center of it?”  
The people on the room started chatting, in irritated tones and with annoyed comments. What Cadeyrn suggested was absurd, most agreed, but the elf lord wasn't done just yet.

 

“Two birds, one stone. If Elydir is queen, the public will be divided. Divided public is a strong ally to us, while at the same time, we make Thranduil let his guard down, hence making him an easy target” Cadeyrn continued.  
“Or” his aunt spoke, once he finished his sentence. “If she is queen and Thranduil is gone, she will drown in grief. It has happened before, after the Battle of the Five Armies, with that disgusting dwarf king. She spent months in her house, mourning and healing. Vulnerable and broken as she will be, one of our people can easily get close to her and offer her support and friendship. Which she will be needing dearly at the moment, we can all agree on that. And I think we have just the man for the job”

Cadeyrn was now the center of attention, as everyone was looking at him. Of course this plan would somehow backfire, Cad thought to himself. “You want me to comfort her after losing her husband so I can have her do as we please?” He asked.  
A general looked at Erwarth. “In time he could even become king himself, if she keeps the crown” he spoke and more and more agreed, though a few were still against the idea.  
“She will need support from the court to stay ont he throne and I don’t think we will support her” a lady spoke.  
“Or we will do so on purpose, to make sure she stays queen so we can have the plan with Cadeyrn to work” another spoke.

 

Suddenly everyone was chatting with one another and all Cad could hear was how Elydir would either be a widow and he would have to seduce her or how she will be taken off the board with her husband. How she would turn from a threat to their plans into a very useful pawn.  
Yes, Cadeyrn was loyal to their cause. He strongly believed Melkor’s return and rule would bring true justice on the land, as it was pure justice and not pretends, no absurd laws, no tricks but only a strong hierarchy.

But this was getting out of hand. The last thing Cad wanted was to hurt her. The plan in his head was to kill Thranduil and Elydir would step down and leave the realm. He knew this is what she’d do, for she had mentioned many times how he’s the main reason she hasn’t left Eryn Lasgalen. If he was out of the game, she would leave and never return; even sail to Valinor! She would be no threat to them if she was away. But those people wanted her dead -not just gone but truly dead.

“What have I done?”

 

~*~

 

The meeting was over and soon Cadeyrn was out in the forest. More decisions were made, a new plan to make sure Elydir Aegoniel would surely gain negative reactions from her actions. She had to 'lose that halo over her head' as someone mentioned during the meeting. As if Elydir didn't deserve it. Enemies or not, these people couldn't ignore that she has worked hard to defend this realm, to keep it running, to keep it safe. And if they did, they were lying to themselves.

The elf lord was rather confused, at this point. He couldn’t let his personal wishes affect his work. And he was an elf of Valinor himself, alive throughout all of the historical events and -in many occasions- a part of them as well. He had sacrificed everything in the name of his cause; family, honor, oaths. He had to sacrifice his feelings and the woman he loved as well.

 

All in the name of justice. She would understand, if she shared his point of view. She would share his vision, understand the sacrifices.  
He left a dry chuckle the moment he thought of these things.

No. Of course not. She was pure. She wouldn’t share nor understand his vision.

 

~*~


	16. A talk between men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While information about the conspirators comes, Cadeyrn and Thranduil speak openly to one another.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke this chapter in two pieces, because each piece is super important and angsty.  
> The next one will feature a headcanon I have for Elydir that is rather dark. Sorry for the delay in updating!

Things seemed to favor the White Knight more and more. The incident worked indeed in her favor, as many have found her reaction wise and fair, while also word of her action spread further. Enough to reach other realms –along with the gossip of her relationship with the king- and a couple of days later to receive a letter from Lothlorien. She smiled at the kind and warm words the Lord and Lady had written to her. She had missed them, having not seen them since she was young.

Still, this didn’t mean she was now beloved and the road was now a bed of roses for her. People still glared at her, council members still acted coldly towards her. Another beautiful day in the heart of the Woodland Realm.  
But this day would prove to be different. After the fake kidnapping of the king, the crown has sent its spies around many council members that still seemed untrustworthy and waited for any signs of plotting in the shadows. And today, information finally arrived.

 

There was a house that seemed to be abandoned and one of the spies noticed suspicious movement around it. After reporting, Elydir visited the people she trusted the most, in order to discuss this. Her closest knights of the Kingsguard, her uncle, her king and Cadeyrn. All with enough experience and different personalities; this would help see the threat from every possible perspective.  
“I say we ambush the house” Elydir said, after a long moment. “Surround it and wait for the right moment to strike”  
“They will see you” Sellion pointed out. “You have to be dressed as civilians and go undercover on this mission. Perhaps recruit some of the locals there as well”  
“It’s quite far from the palace, in the eastern part of the cave system. I think we can pass for new travelers and merchants” One of her knights said, nodding.  
Ely looked towards Thranduil, who remained silent. “What do you say for this plan, your Majesty?” 

Thranduil looked at her and then back at the map, for a long moment. “We need evidence, you can’t just kick a door down and enter a house. Abandoned or not. And the words of a single spy are not exactly reliable; you need hard proof”  
“Conspirators leave no proof” Irindul pointed out. “If they work in the shadows against you, your Majesty, I hardly doubt they’ll leave any notes or anything to use against them. Definitely not something that is not in some sort of code”  
“A good guess” Sellion nodded. “But Irindul is right, such sort of people are extremely careful and usually have someone to clean up after their meetings, to make sure nothing is left behind”

 

There was one that hasn’t spoken a single word during this secret meeting and whose eye met Elydir’s the moment her uncle was talking. “What do you think?” she asked him. All eyes moved on the elf lord, who seemed to sit up a bit at the sudden attention.  
He knew what he had to say, which was not what he wished to say. But he had to push away the thoughts of helping her; he had a mission. “You should ambush them as fast as possible, or else you’ll lose the only lead you have. If this gets out, whoever these conspirators are, they will never use this safe house again for their meetings. You need to go there and take in whoever you see there.

How was it possible? To be one of the first elves and dedicated to the Fallen Vala for eons and just now to find it hard to manipulate someone into the plan he had? It seemed so wrong, almost as if he was going against his nature. The house was inhibited; a father and his son lived in peace there. But then planted the information to the spy successfully, uncaring for those two. 

 

Looking at him, Elydir saw something not fitting the pattern. It seemed as if Cad was telling her to do something because he had to. As if he wasn’t speaking his mind. Thranduil raised an eyebrow as the two looked at one another. “I take it something doesn’t fit here?”  
Elydir looked at her king and then back at Cadeyrn. “No” she lied. “No, I trust lord Cadeyrn’s word. We shall do it. Let’s organize the details of the operation in my study” she told to her elves, excusing herself from this meeting.  
Something was still wrong. Perhaps it was her instinct, telling her not to do it, or this strange vibe Cadeyrn gave her, but since all agreed, she would do what was asked of her.

 

~*~

 

[ Thranduil’s p.o.v.]

Once Elydir was gone, the rest began to leave the room as well. Thranduil’s study was almost empty, when the king called Cadeyrn to stay. Standing, he closed the door, feeling the elf lord’s gaze on him the whole time. “Take a sit, please” he said in a steady, soft tone.  
Cadeyrn did as asked, without a word. “I take it this has to do with the operation?”  
The king shook his head as he returned to his seat. “This… has to do with Elydir” he spoke. “A conversation we should’ve had long ago, I believe”  
Tensing, Cadeyrn looked away. “The matter is rather sensitive, my king. I think we’ve both avoided speaking of it because of.. this uneasiness we’re having here”  
“That is true” Thranduil replied. “But I still feel that we needed to have it. A talk from one man to another, titles aside” he said, taking his crown off and placing it on his desk, to emphasize his point.  
Cadeyrn’s dark eyes followed his hands and remained on the crown, before he once more looked away.

“I want to clear something, first” Thranduil started. “At no point did Elydir attempted anything with me, when the two of you were together. I admit a kiss occurred from my side, but she did not attempt anything. I don’t want you to think she tried to cheat on you, or something similar to that. Elydir was never unfaithful”  
Cadeyrn seemed to grow more and more irritated as Thranduil spoke, his shoulders tensing more and more as well. “I never doubted that” he said softly. “But the fact you kissed her speaks volumes of your morality” he added, making Thranduil’s eyes widen. He was never openly insulted like this. Cadeyrn looked at him, his hatred making his dark brown eyes even darker.  
“I don’t expect you to like me. I don’t expect you to serve me either, after this whole story. But I don’t accept insults from you. I did nothing wrong” the king spoke in a low voice.

 

At this, Cadeyrn chuckled dryly, amused by the man’s attitude. “A conversation between men, you said, simple men; two men that love the same woman. You expect me to be kind and lick your boots, like everyone else does? My apologies to disappoint, but I won’t do that” his fist clenched. “You.. _stole_ her from me. She was happy. We would’ve been happy together and you know that. I would take her away from here and have a family with her. I would offer her the life she deserves, safe and full of happiness. What do you offer her? More assassins and a fancy title?”  
Thranduil remained silent, his emotionless expression remaining intact. “I don’t expect to compete with the luxuries a king can offer to someone he cares about. But wealth doesn’t mean anything, if you cannot make the other happy. Remind me, weren't you the one that lost your temper to that degree that insulted her, her family and her very existence; then made her flee from Mirkwood and join those dwarves? Without you, she would’ve stayed here, she wouldn’t have gotten hurt, she wouldn’t have lost her friends –and a part of herself with them. Remind me who had filled her heart with sorrow, because he couldn’t return her love” Cadeyrn growled as he stood, leaning against the desk.

“And now remind me who treated her fairly. Listened to her, shared ideas and stories with her. Who treated her normally; as anyone would treat a woman they court. And who was there to heal her broken heart, from a selfish bastard that could not see the gorgeous creature that literally stands every day next to him in the meetings?! Was it you, Thranduil? It was _me_ ” fury filled his heart, the pain of this unfair situation that he was fully aware he could not change now.   
But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t destroy Thranduil or, at least, poison him with self-doubt and guilt. Thranduil deserved to suffer. 

“You treated someone so beautiful and fragile as if they were nothing to you. So tell me, oh great king…” he leaned closer to Thranduil. “…Should I be kind and civilized to the man that will hurt the woman I love? that will destroy her? Because you’ll do that, Thranduil. You always do that. You did that with your son, you did that with Tauriel. You’ll do it with Elydir. For the second time”

 

Thranduil remained silent through Cadeyrn’s dramatic monologue, but truth was that the man was right. Thranduil had treated Elydir poorly, in his attempt not to show he was favoring her in any way. He treated her professionally, harshly, worse than others. Even if Elydir could see right through his act and always cared for him, Thranduil had given her a lot of excuses to doubt his love for her. As well as many bad times he still regretted.  
“I guess our conversation Is over, then” he said softly, clearing his throat. Cadeyrn offered an ironic half smile to that statement.  
“Not yet” he replied. Standing stright, he fixed his outer robes, avoiding Thranduil’s gaze. “If you hurt her this time, Thranduil.. King or not, there will be no place on this earth to hide and no Vala to protect you from my wrath. This isn’t a threat, make no mistake” he looked at the king with all the hatred his gaze could deliver. “This is a promise”

With that, the elf lord left the king’s study. Thranduil was left alone in silence and, for once, he felt a threat actually scaring him. He would never hurt Elydir… but what if he did? Then not only would he regret it, but he’d also know who would deliver his punishment. For once, the Elvenking felt truly threatened.

~*~


	17. The ghosts in our heads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After information had gotten to the palace of a secret meeting of enemies, the ambush took place. But what they found was not what they expected. and it reminded Elydir of her greatest mistake.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her verses, to understand more of the story.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Massacre mention.  
> This is a headcanon I have for Elydir for some time now, because I needed something to break her 'perfect and honorable warrior’ image and show her flaws and mistakes.
> 
> (A detailed version of it can be found in the end here: http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/headcanons )

Two days later, the operation began. Disguised, the Kingsguard had taken their posts and now they waited for the right moment to strike. It was around noon that a man entered the house, looking around him suspiciously. This must be the owner, Elydir thought and probably the host of these meetings too. It was unlikely that someone would let a meeting take place in his house without knowing and sharing the opinions of the others in it.

The signal was given and, silently, they gathered around the house. Elydir, with another five elves walked to the front door. One elf opened the door and looked at Elydir. With a nod, she pushed the door open and let Elydir enter first. “In the name of the king, don’t move!” she called, as the rest of the elves entered.

 

The man that had entered before quickly walked down the stairs of the house, startled by the sound. The guards captured him, before spreading around the small house. No one was inside. “You’re making a mistake!” the elf cried. “No one is here! It’s just me!”  
After a moment of searching, the guards returned empty-handed. But something got Elydir’s eye. A rag on the floor that seemed to have been moved a lot, judging by the marks of dust around its edges.

“Is there a basement?” she asked. The man looked around, at the guards and then back at Elydir. “N- No”  
Without even appointing someone to search, Elydir herself knelt down and pulled the rag, revealing a door. She opened it, unsheathing her short blade. “Lantern” she said and one of her guards handed her one.  
“You don’t understand!” the man called. “This isn’t a basement, it’s a simple room! Please don’t go in there, I beg you!”  
Though that didn’t stop Elydir, who walked down the narrow stairs. Once down there, she could not see a lot of things. But there was a closed curtain and behind it, there was a candle. There were shadows, many of them that she could count. She quietly walked towards it, now two elves following her.

Something wasn’t right though. Her instinct wasn’t sensing danger. But the man’s reaction seemed too suspicious already. She grabbed the curtain, still feeling as if something wasn’t fitting. But she couldn’t step down now.  
She pulled it away and quickly discovered what was wrong. There were many candles around the small room and tools, stones and clay. The man was a sculptor. And now Elydir’s blade was pointed at a child, that was in the basement, playing with some clay.

 

At the sight of the woman and the knife, the boy started screaming on the top of his lungs. “No please! Don’t kill me, please! Help, ada, help!”  
The knight pulled her blade away and knelt down, knowing that being closer to a kid’s height was less frightening to them, but the boy kept screaming and trying to hide behind the sculptures.  
“No, I’m sorry, little one. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” Elydir said in a soft voice quickly, though the boy kept screaming, now crying as well.  
“No! Don’t hurt me!” he said, his little face red and tears falling from his eyes.

 

“No! Please!”  
“Spare the child! Please I beg you!”  
“Run, run away! No, let him go, monster!”  
“Mama! Help!”  
“Let her go! Let the girl go!”  
“Spare the children!”

Elydir’s eyes filled with images of the past, her ears too with cries for mercy. The little boy, his little face that was now filled with fear, brought back memories she had buried deep, deep inside her. Sickening, twisted memories of evil actions in her past.  
People running, house burning, bodies, blood, rain. Screams, mother holding their kids, father trying to defend them.

 

Standing, Elydir quickly walked to the stairs. “Let him go” she called, feeling herself unable to breathe. “Y- You have the apologies of the crown, my lord. There has been a mistake, y- you’ll be… You’ll…” suddenly, the White Knight felt her chest too heavy. “I…”  
The gaze of the father was making things worse. He pushed the guards that held him away and ran to his son. Elydir was left staring at the place the man once stood, before she walked outside the house.

“Rin..” she said softly. “I need to leave. T- Take care of the others” she said, but she was already walking away as she did. The man walked outside, screaming insults, despite the guards apologizing and walking away peacefully. She could still hear the boy screaming.

Elydir walked to the nearest exit to the woods. She needed fresh air, as if this was the cure to what was happening to her. What was happening to her?

She walked through the forest until she started running. And she kept running until the pain in her chest was unbearable. She fell on her knees, panting heaving and gasping for air. Though nothing seemed to work and she still couldn’t take a breath. She was suffocating.  
The elf lied on the ground fully, hearing nothing but her breathing and her heartbeats.

Flashbacks returned to her eyes. No mercy, no second thoughts. She killed and killed and killed. A whole village, men and women and children and elders. She killed them all. Blinded by vengeance, she punished those that killed her parents, by taking away from them everything. Their families, their neighbors, everyone they knew. Little by little, person by person. None made it out.

 

It was Elydir’s darkest secret. The reason she hated herself and the accepted being called a monster. She was young and right before she got her title. She was well-trained and lethal, equipped with deadly weapons she knew how to handle. And she knew names. The men that attacked her parents, those that delivered the killing blows.

Blind. She was blinded by hatred. She spend weeks with little food and rest. But only attacked, little by little taking lives until the men knew they were the targets. Then came their families. The children crying, the mothers begging for mercy. She didn’t spare a single one. It was a small village and yet, she killed them all. The men responsible, she left for the end. And she killed them too, she brought justice.

 

Until she stepped outside the house they had gathered. Until she heard the outer silence. Saw the dead town. The blood that ran on the streets, the rain that washed it away. No, it actually didn’t. It felt as if the rain spread the blood everywhere.  
It was then she understood what she had done. Innocent lives, lives of people that had nothing to do with them. Those five men that were paid to kill her parents. They weren’t even truly responsible. Elydir had given into hatred and anger and bloodlust and this is what she did. She turned into a monster.

No one knew this, no one living anyway. It was some time later that people starter talking of the ghost village of Men, close to the elven realm and Dale. The people that disappeared without any explanation.  
After the massacre, Elydir had returned to bury every single body and read a blessing. To apologize, in a way. As if this would fix anything, the years of nightmares she gained, the self hatred that grew within her, the disgust she felt for herself and still felt until this very day.

 

After being given the title of her father, she swore never to hurt an innocent again, but to defend those in need, to help whoever needed her. Parts of an oath every White Knight took. But Elydir swore she would never kill another that had not committed a crime. She would not lay her blade upon an innocent. She would protect life and save as many people as she could. She swore to work hard to correct her mistake. To make the lives she took rest in peace, to do more good than she did bad. No one knew. No one would ever find out. But she knew. 

She remembered it as if it had just happened.

 

~*~


	18. An odd silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's starting to be quite obvious that what happened has affected Elydir. Perhaps too obvious...
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her headcanons, to understand more of the story and personality.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Here's a new chapter!!! :D  
> (Also, replies to some questions in the end note.)

With those thoughts clouding her mind, her vision and all of her senses, the knight closed her eyes tightly. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, so fast and loud. Her blood boiling inside her, the voices in her head becoming screams. Until she let go and started screaming herself.

She didn’t know how long she was out in the forest, on the ground, curled in a ball. No matter how much Elydir always wanted to be the hero, she was fully aware she could never truly be one. Not only due to her failures, but also due to her sins. This, her greatest sin, would never be forgotten. Nor ever spoken to anyone. This was the reason the Valar cursed her and her life was never getting better. Or, when it did, something would rip her happiness out from her heart with as much violence as she delivered on those innocent souls.

 

She was flawed and she knew it. Not because of her ‘tainted blood’ or her ‘human nature’, nor because of any mistakes on her job. She was flawed because she gave into rage. She embraced it and she loved it. It was refreshing and like a breath after being under the surface of the sea for ages. She felt free and strong by becoming a killing machine.  
_That made her hate herself even more_.

So what if she was bullied and hated? If she has been beaten and touched? If she has assassins always around her, trying to end her life? Nothing would ever compare with the loathing of herself in that state or even the sheer memory of it.

 

She must’ve been out for a while, because things were getting darker. And yet, she had no intention to stand and walk back. The elf wished Yavanna would let her grass and flowers grow over her, consume her, cease her from existance. The perfect soldier she pretended so hard to be was nothing but a cover for a rotten soul. So what good was she to anyone?

To her surprise, someone was there with her, talking to her. She could see dark hair and many figures. Maybe guards? Her vision was blurry and she felt exhausted. And honestly,  at this point, she had no intention to fight and defend herself. They could as well kill her and leave her there. She couldn’t care less.

In a blink of a eye, the world around her faded.

 

~*~

 

She was warm now, dry from the woods’ moister and oddly enough, the tightness of her armor was missing. Blinking slowly, she took a moment for her eyes to adjust, before realizing where she was. Looking next to her, golden hair was spilled against the pillows and the Elvenking was layed beside her reading scrolls, making notes and putting signatures.

For a moment, she was tempted to observe him and not disturb his work. He was probably angry anyway, or worried sick... Which meant he was very angry. But his expression was calm and he looked tired, not worried. Deciding to let him know she woke up, she moved her hand and took his free hand in hers, lacing their fingers together.

The king placed down the parchment and looked at her with a light smile. “Welcome back” he whispered with a soft smile.  
A smile that, as always, was contagious. She returned the soft smile, without speaking a word. What should she say anyway? That she’s sorry? That she had a panic attack-or whatever that was-? That she lied on the ground for hours, haunted by memories?  
Looking at her expression, Thranduil must’ve guessed she didn’t know what to say, so he gently leaned close and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“You scared me” he said softly. “I thought something happened to you. Do you want to tell me what is wrong? Or should we talk about it another time?”  
Honestly, it was selfish from Elydir’s behalf not to –at least- offer an explanation.  But her mind felt as if it was a big pit of guilt and painful memories, at the moment. She shook her head and moved a bit closer to him.  
Sighing, Thranduil placed all of the papers on the nightstand and lied next to her, holding her close. The silence was comfortable and, at the moment, it was all the half elf needed.

 

~*~

 

[Cadeyrn’s p.o.v.]

 

The days that followed were quiet for everyone. The crown had to officially apologize to the man and refund any damages of man’s house, as well as a small bonus for the inconvenience he and his son faced. The false information was troubling for the court: the agent that delivered it wasn’t trustworthy any longer, but also because it seemed that there were still people that wished ill for the king.  
All had hoped that after the fake kidnapping of the king -and Legolas and Tauriel making sure to examine all the suspects and break potential alliances- that things would be peaceful for a while in the realm. They were wrong.

Though things went according to plan, Cadeyrn couldn’t help but feel as if everything was wrong. The threat was alive, everyone knew of it, the king knew of it and yet… He couldn’t celebrate.

 

Elydir was oddly quiet, the following days. To a point she was addressed in a council meeting and yet, she could not concentrate enough to give answers. Which was rather embarrassing, since she was asked about the incident and not a word could leave her lips. She excused herself and left the room, leaving everyone staring. This was unlike Elydir and everyone, liking her or not, couldn’t miss it. This continued, as she refused to interact with anyone, for the days that followed.  
Barely speaking to Thranduil and Sellion, word was spread that the mistake that had happened shook the White Knight enough for her to give up and hide, like a scared child would. Which, of course, she was mocked for.

 

But not everyone was on board with that. Cadeyrn wasn’t. He was worried sick that whatever happened in the operation had broken something inside Elydir that was beyond repair. Later on, he learned that the little boy in he house had some issues that healers worked hard to fix and that he was better when in his house and around his father. Elydir must’ve heard that. Even Cadeyrn would feel uncomfortable knowing he could’ve potentially ruined a young child’s mentality. And he was an ancient elf that had killed many people.  
 There was one person he could get answers for and he highly doubted he was welcomed to his office. Still, the elf lord made his way to the king’s study and entered when he was allowed to.

Thranduil was, as always, dealing with paperwork and didn’t bother to look up from his papers. “Lord Cadeyrn” he called, a voice steady and low. “I take it there must be a very important reason you’re in here. Take a seat, please”  
Cad remained silent, but took a seat in front of the desk, as told. Even he wasn’t sure how to deal with this issue. “Appologies for the disturbance, your Grace, but my visit is indeed of importance. I came to ask you about Lady Elydir”  
This seemed to get Thranduil’s attention, as his hand stopped moving and his eyes were glued on the paper for a long moment, before he decided to put both down and look at the elf.

Sighing, the king crossed his arms against his chest, leaning back on his chair. “What about her?”  
The casualness of the conversation was irritating Cadeyrn, so he decided to stop pretending. “Excuse my weakness, but.. I can’t keep talking all formally. I’ll speak my mind to you, your Grace. Don’t you think she’s acting.. a little strange?”  
He didn’t look surprised and Cadeyrn realized that the worry he felt he could see painted on the king’s face. “She is indeed. Though I’ve tried to make her talk, I can’t. She refuses to discuss even the event or anything related to it. And pushing her can be dangerous, at such a delicate matter. Trust me, I’ve pushed her away once. I’m not willing to risk it, only to gain answers. She will speak eventually, only when she feels ready to”

 

“But it’s been two weeks. She doesn’t talk, she barely attends the meetings. I even asked around her Guard, she’s not training soldiers nor going to patrols. Even her assistant said she’s in her study or her room all day long” Cadeyrn insisted. “Whatever happened must’ve hurt her a lot”  
“Listen to me” Thranduil’s tone was not hostile nor irritated, but actually calm. Because Thranduil’s tone was explanatory, from experience. Cadeyrn could see that and he respected it enough to listen.

“Elydir has endured many things, things that tend to change a person. Whatever happened to that basement must’ve triggered some memory or event she has gone through that disturbed her. She needs time to deal with it and she doesn’t want to share it. Elydir shares everything with me. If she chooses not to share something, I know better than pushing her. Let her take her time; it’s the same thing I do, what we all do”

The elf lord sighed and sat back against his chair. There was a moment of silence that both men simply processed the situation. “You know” Cadeyrn broke that silence. “I know you care for her truly. I appreciate that you do, that you make her happy. I will always hate you for taking her from me. But…” he rolled his eyes. “..I suppose I am trying to thank you for keeping her safe. I’m not good at.. this kind of conversations”  
Thranduil raised an eyebrow and smiled softly. “You’re welcome, though I admit most of the time it feels that she’s keeping me safe than the other way around”

Both men chuckled softly at that statement. He wasn’t wrong, with a dynamic woman like Elydir, it was really hard to understand who had the upper hand in their relationship. Or, to put it better, to admit who truly had it.  
“We could’ve been good friends, in another life” the king spoke.  
“We could have, yes” Cadeyrn agreed, for once being utterly honest with the king.

 

~*~

 

[Thranduil’s p.o.v.]

 

After Cadeyrn left, Thraduil spent a good amount of time looking at the fire. If Cadeyrn came to talk to him -his new sworn enemy- that meant Elydir was as bad as he thought. In the king’s head, Thranduil thought he was exadurating, being biased by his love for her. But Cadeyrn’s visit proved he was right about the true weight of this situation.

Elydir was either drowning in sorrow or guilt, if not both. Problem was that she still refused to talk to him about what had happened. Perhaps what they needed was…

He suddenly looked at his desk and searched for a specific letter. Once he found it, he got his quill and quickly started writing a reply to it. Once done and sealed with the royal mark, he delivered it himself to the messenger and asked him to ride all night to get it to its destination as fast as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ I got some asks about my headcanon in the previous chapter. The reason I made it is because Ely needed a dark side, something to fuel this self-hatred, that is her true enemy. She couldn’t be the perfect character, so this flaw is big enough to shatter this perfect image that she shows through her behavior.   
> And I think the elves always felt something really dark abut her and kept their distance, even without knowing. But I also like the idea of her being ‘cursed’ after the massacre, as a punishment for it. 
> 
> Anyway, hope that helped!!]


	19. Worry is not a pretty color on your face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has noticed the sudden change and those that care for Elydir worry a lot.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her headcanons, to understand more of her story and personality.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

It has been a week since the incident and the council was growing restless. Despite the fact that the White Knight had taken some personal time, leaving Irindul to deal with matters of the Kingsguard, questions about the failed mission still remained unanswered.

Although the guards and knights involved had already given their statements, the fact that a high-positioned military officer refused to talk of a mission of her own command spread both suspicion and worry. Which Irindul just informed Elydir, as she was standing next to the fireplace of the palace's library.

 

"I don't mean to be pushy, knowing that your current state is a delicate one, my lady" the shorter elf spoke. "I mean, we can all see whatever happened down there has shaken you a lot. The problem is that your silence regarding the matter makes everyone curious and worried. And with your friend and enemy rates differing so much, you understand how strange this i"

Staring at the flames, Elydir half smiled at that. "Are you telling me my enemies worry about my well being, Rin?" she spoke, her voice deep and low. Looking up, she met Irindul's eyes.  
"Yes" he replied. "Commander, if I may speak freely for a moment..?"  
Nodding, the knight gestured to the nearest couch. Once both were seated, Irindul placed some documents he was holding next to him and took a deep breath.

 

"Thranduil is silently freaking out" he started. "Your uncle does his best to keep his distance and advice us all to do the same, but even he struggles. We, at the guard, try to cover your absence unsuccessfully and the council misses your energy and opinion. I dare say those you irritated are now bored. You offer them something to keep them busy and interested, probably" he chuckled.  
Though Ely smiled, she remained silent, sensing there was more.

"We worry. A lot. It feels like time has gone back to when you returned from the Battle of the Five Armies. You stayed in your home for, what, months? Now you're locked in your study or wondering in the woods, avoiding everyone. Elydir, speak to someone. Anyone. Tell them what's wrong, or don't. Do whatever you need to do to heal, but... We need you"

Sensing the plain worry in his words, the knight took her assistance's hand and sighed. "I can see you all worry, Rin. I just can't shake this feeling... Like I am back in time, in a time I never want to go again. Dark and cold and.." she shook her head. "Nothing happened down there. The child just started screaming and.. I remembered something. That's all. I'm already better and healing, I promise"

 

The brunet elf seemed pleased to know his commander was working on whatever has been bothering her. "You need to understand... You have so many responsibilities and so many people rely on you. You're a- a... large cog in the machine that's called Woodland Realm. I'm not trying to praise you, I'm stating the obvious. We need you back in the field, Commander"  
"I never expected to hear you talking of machines, Rin; always thought you weren't fond of such things. Aren't you calling machines 'dwarven magic'?" Elydir asked, smiling.  
Irindul chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "I do, but I do recognize that we work just like one. Organization and coherence: the basic pillars of any functional community. You taught us that in the Guard"  
"I did indeed, just as my own instructors did" she hummed. Truth was, Elydir was really sad to see everyone she cared about worry so much. But hearing how much this has affected everyone"

 

"I'll make you a promise" She spoke, letting go of his hand gently and standing."I cannot promise to be back instantly, but I can promise you I'll start following my usual routine. Slowly. Baby steps"  
"That's all I needed to hear" the elf stood as well and smiled at her. "As always, at your service"

With that, Irindul left. He was an unsolvable quiz, this elf. Caring and yet professional. She had taught him well, if not too well. But the conversation didn't just fade. The sun had set over the trees of the realm and the moon had taken its place. Elydir was sitting on Thranduil's bed, stretching lazily as he walked in.

 

"My queen" he greeted with a smile and pecked her lips. Elydir returned the sweet gesture and smiled softly at him. Once again, the Elvenking's smile was contagious.  
"My king. You look tired" she commented, as Thranduil walked to place the paperwork he was holding on the small round table, where the wine and two glasses were.  
"That is because I am" he commended, filling the glasses and offering one to Elydir. She accepted it and shifted, so he could take a seat next to her.

"My beauty, I... need to talk to you" he started, turning so he could face her fully. "It's about your recent behavior"  
"Thran, I know what you'll say. Irindul and I had an honest conversation and I understand I've left a lot of work on your shoulders, but-"  
"That's not exactly what I wanted to focus on" the king interrupted her. "Well, I could certainly use some less paperwork. Once more, your absence by my side proves how valuable you are to me. But..." he commented, caressing her cheek gently.

 

"What I wanted to say is irrelevant with that" he continued. "I realize whatever happened has.. Shaken you a lot. I can feel it, everyone can see it. And we are worried sick, as I'm sure your assistant has already informed you"  
Nodding, Ely took his free hand and pressed a soft kiss on it. "He has. Said you're silently freaking out"  
"That's..."; he paused for a moment. "..quite accurate, actually"

Chuckling, Elydir shook her head. "See, I haven't seen that in a whole week" he commented. "That smile. Sweet, relaxed, unburdened. I've missed seeing that smile. Your eyes are darker, I can see the dark marks under them. You're not sleeping. Or, to put it better, you are sleeping for a couple of hours and then you wake up. Yesterday, you were talking in your sleep. Begging someone to stop, before you woke up. Don't mistake my silence for ignorance, for I can see you're suffering from terrible nightmares, yet again. But these feel different than those you used to have when we started sharing a bed at nights"

"Yeah, I.." the knight lowered her gaze. "I just..."  
"I don't need an answer. It seems like a very delicate matter and I cannot risk pushing you for answers. I'm not going to break you just to satisfy the curiosity of the counsil; nor mine, for that instance" he pointed out. "You can talk to me whenever you're ready. You know that, hm?"

 

Drinking a few sips from her wine, Elydir knew she had to explain what had happened. Even partially. They were to be married, she loved Thranduil more than anything. She owed him an explanation. A very delayed explanation.

"When I went to the basement, there was a child there. At my sudden presence, he got scared and started screaming for help. I..." she swallowed hard, her throat slowly closing as if an invisible hand was tightening its grip around it. "Memories from the past have resurfaced. I cannot tell you from what. I- I gave a heavy oath never to reveal something from my past. I share everything with you, my love, but that.. I cannot shar"

 

She was expecting his impatience or tiredness to take over and him pressing the matter, but instead Thranduil remained silent. Perhaps for the first time, he was too patient. Looking at his blue eyes again, Elydir felt an unbelievable amount of weight on her shoulders. "I cannot remember the person I was back then. I just can't..." she whispered. "I know we share everything, but this one thing I cannot share with you. I cannot tell you this secret'

Slowly nodding, Thranduil stood once more. Oh my, here we go. Was that the beginning of the end? Elydir could never hold a secret from him, her King and mentor, her lover and -ignoring the weight of the statement for the moment- her soulmate.

Thranduil took his long, outer robes off and then unbuttoned his long tunic as well. The white shirt he wore underneath was -as always- unlaced and his marble skin made him look like a living statue under the low lighting. Once again, Elydir found herself drinking in his beauty, simple and perfect as he was at that moment.

 

"When I returned from the war, I couldn't speak. I remember, after I woke up and my wounds slowly started to heal, Amelia was asking the healers if my voice was lost. But they kept reassuring her I could speak, but didn't want to. She couldn't comprehend it, insisting something was wrong. Until your father, if I remember correctly, told her that the reason I could not speak was because I wasn't back home yet. My mind was still in that battlefield. Still holding adar in my arms, still screaming from the pain of my burns. I wasn't ready"

Slowly walking as he spoke, the Elvenking continued. "I slowly started to come back and talking to her. She knew not to ask questions, especially after we buried adar. There were a million open matters to deal with. Dead to be buried, wounded, searching partied, patrols, a coronation... An absolute chaos that took almost all of my attention for weeks. Until Amelia had had it and she demanded answers. You know what I replied to her?" he removed his silver tunic, white shirt and boots, before sitting down again, this time behind Elydir.

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he gently pulled her backwards, so her back was pressed against his chest. "I told her I could not speak of the person I saw out there. It wasn't me. It was.. someone else" he hummed, kissing her cheek. "See, I understand the sentiment, that suffocating feeling each time you remember. Every detail that stands out makes you shiver, you hear a voice similar with one of those in your memories and shudder. I know it's horrific. So I understand if you don't wish to share something with me. Just know that I've been where you are and... When I was ready to speak, I had someone by my side. As you do now"

 

Closing her eyes, the knight relaxed against the warmth of her king and surrounded by the sweet scent of his skin. She was safe, no memories haunting her now. He was right. He had seen real war, terrible things, suffered incredible amounts of pain. But she still could not tell him. "It's just that the child... it reminded me of that time. I relived that moment, Thranduil. It was terrible, it was.." she shook her head.

"If I could tell you, you'd leave me. Hell, if I could tell you, I'd take my own life out of shame. Perhaps before anyone else could" she murmured the last under her breath.  
"There is nothing in this world you could've done that will make me look at you any differently. Nor any chance to let you harm yourself. Never. As for anyone else, I'd like to see them try to defeat me before hurting you" he held her tighter, kissing her hair gently.

"I did something monstrous" she whispered. "Abhorrent"  
"You're incapable of such actions, Elydir. You care too much for people" Thranduil replied.  
"I didn't, once" she replied, almost too fast. He looked at her, curiosity painted against his sharp features. "I can't. I swore to myself never to tell another living soul. No one knows this and no one will ever know of it"

 

"Alright" he said, kissing her cheek. "Alright, if this is your choice, I'll respect it. I trust your judgment and know you can't keep secrets from me. Well, not forever, at least"; he was probably referring to the incident of her almost sexual assault when she was young. Elydir still believed it was idiotic that she told him, she was young and nothing happened anyway.  
"Can you be with me, knowing that I have a dark secret? Knowing I'll never tell you truly everything?"  
"Elydir, I will never tell you truly everything either. Either because I'll forget to mention it or selectively not share it. You know of a few topics I never talk about. My.. My mother being one" he replied. Even the word seemed filled with sorrow.  
"I know not to ask" she replied, caressing his cheek. "If you accept me as I am, then I accept you as you are. Secrets, regrets, mistakes and all"  
"I can say the same, then" Thranduil smiled. "Now.." he stood and easily swept her in his arms. Chuckling, she kissed his cheek. Being in his arms was always pleasant, especially with his chest bare. The softness, despite some burn marks from the dragonfire, was impossible not to love. "...I've wanted to do this for a while now"

 

The Elvenking started walking towards the small pool that decorated his chambers. A natural formation of the cave system that he was really fond of and had embraced, even if his father disliked it and had tried to cover it when he was the owner of those chambers.  
Elydir raised an eyebrow. "No.." she looked at him. "You will not dare. Thranduil, I'm serious"  
The king only chuckled and kept walking straight to the water pool. Elydir tried to free herself, but Thranduil easily threw her over his shoulder. There was a mixture of chuckles and angry threats leaving Elydir's lips, which all seemed to amuse Thranduil.

Right before the pool, he stopped, though and Placed her on her feet again. Relieved, Ely slapped his arm playfully. "Shame on you, Elvenking, you act like a child" she teased. But that smug expression was still on his face.

Elydir was too late. She had not realized he placed her literally on the edge of the pool. He quickly wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in the pool with him. All she could do was leave a cry of surprise, before she was soaking wet.

 

Thranduil was laughing loudly, as Elydir resurfaced a moment later. She pushed her hair away from her eyes and threw water at the king's face. "Thranduil!" she called, but she could not stay mad at him. She could only laugh as well, surprised by the action. Childish and unexpected, yet refreshing.


	20. What a crime to care too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elydir decided to make an official statement for the failed mission. Which backfires in an unexpected way.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her headcanons, to understand more of her story and personality.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

It was the very next day that the White Knight decided to clear the air, about the failed mission, to the council. She was slowly suppressing the memories and pain once more; she knew she had to. Ely had a lot of responsibilities she needed to return and to neglect them any longer was not an option.

As the morning council was summoned and everyone was seated, Thranduil stood; proud and majestic, as always, inspiring respect to all those that were present. A man born to be a strong authority figure, Ely mused. Everyone remained seated.  
“I know there are a lot of questions about the mission that occurred a week ago. My councilors are asking, my Generals are asking.. Even my tailor asked, yesterday afternoon” he gave a side glance at Elydir, who remained silent. “But today, lady Elydir has asked me herself to grand her a few moments to explain to us of the situation in detail. So I ask of you to listen to her, before we can all ask our questions. My lady” He gently took her hand and helped her stand, before taking his seat once more.

In an uncommon gesture, the Elvenking took off his crown of leaves and berries and placed it on the table in front of him. A gesture to show that at the moment, he was just another council member. That all attention should be focused on her.  
And that made Elydir even more nervous. But she had decided to talk about this and had already rehearsed the speech in her head. This should go smoothly…

 

“I understand you all have found sources to ask about what happened” she began speaking, hands resting on the hilt of her sword. “I don’t blame you. It was irresponsible of me to keep you in the dark and for that I apologize. I see people representing every fraction of our society here, every branch of this gigantic tree that our realm is. So I’d appreciate to save the comments for the end, as our king requested. But I want to hear your questions and fill in all the gaps you might have”

Taking a deep breath, her shoulders relaxed as she looked at her uncle. “A few days ago, word arrived from an unnamed but reliable source. Reliable at the time, at least. Word of enemies of the state, plotting against it in a house within our cave system. As it is required, the Kingsguard was called to take action and investigate, as well as eliminate the threat quietly. But I…”

Elydir sighed. “I made a mistake. In my worry to take care of this situation quickly and not alert the people, I was careless. Trusted only one source, without investigating further or trying in any other way to double-check the intel. And that lead to the unfortunate event of that day. Where I… I lead my knights, under disguise, into a full attack on the site. Little did we know, there was a father with his young son in the house. A hard working man, raising a child only son”

 

“As we entered, there was a rag placed oddly on the floor, which indicated there was a basement that was kept hidden from our search. I was warned not to go down by the father and I admit, my senses agreed with him. I felt no danger, but I had to continue and follow my orders” she admitted. Thranduil’s eyes were glued on her, she could feel it. But not everyone was looking at her. One pair of dark eyes didn’t meet hers.

“Once down there, I saw shadows moving behind a thin curtain. I- I pulled it open, only to reveal the son of the owner, playing with clay. As the man was a sculptor, there were make realistic creations that gave the impression of a small crowd being there. The light of candles dancing made it even more realistic. And with my sword in hand, you realize that this would be a scary picture for every child. So the boy started screaming and I could not make it stop”

 

Her voice almost broke as she mentioned that last part. She couldn’t stop. Instantly, her mind took her back in that day, that she could not stop herself. She pushed that memory away and took a deep breath, ready to continue.  
“And you realize my shock when I later found out that the boy suffers from mental illnesses, and healers often tried to help him deal with his own problems. To know I only made the condition of a young child worse is.. not easy to deal with”

“It was something that.. triggered some suppressed memories of my own youth” she answered honestly. “I instantly left the sight, unable to breath. I was later informed I was found in the woods, which I do not recall. It was a moment of weakness, something unlike anything I’ve faced before and for that, I apologize to you all. Especially to our king” she turned to look at Thranduil. “Not only for compromising this mission, but also his name to the his own citizens”  
“As your Councilor and Commander of the Kingsguard, I showed a significant lack of organization and responsibility, sourcing from personal matters. Which is why I took so long to make this statement public” she looked back at the council. “I will now accept your queries, my lords and ladies”

 

Though members of the council were already murmuring things between them, a few looked pleased with the reply. Others not. There were a few questions about details of the mission, but no one would stand and talk of the matter extensively. Which was probably good, it showed that people were pleased with her story as explained.

The first to stand and talk, though, was the Head of the Court of the realm. An older elf, not too tall, yet his status was highly respected by all, including the knight herself. He was of white hair, in a long, tight braid and two thin locks of hair falling from each side of his forehead. Inspiring admiration, despite his physical appearance was a powerful ability.

 

“Thank you for coming forward about your mission, Lady Elydir. I understand it must’ve been hard for you. We’ve all noticed the change of behavior these past few days. But I cannot help but noticing another pattern, through your honest words”

 “You are a person of exceptional capabilities, my lady, but what I’m seeing is you having your plate full- and even have a second one in front of you. Don’t you think you’re dealing with a lot of matters at the same time? Remind me of your duties again, if you please”

The brunette took a moment to answer. “I am the sworn protector of the Royal Family and the Commander of the Kingsguard, an elite unit of warriors dedicated to their protection”  
“Go on” the Head spoke. “List those you acquired apart from your hard-won title”  
“I am the king’s personal councilor and I assist him with matters of the state only when he believes it to be necessary. I..” she looked at Thranduil for a single moment, finding his expression blank. “…have also, over the years, acted as an ambassador for the realm, but this has been done by many in this room. Apart from that, I don’t think I’ve-“

 

“Let me stop you there” the elf kindly interrupted. His tone was sincere and not hostile, but also straightforward. “So you act as his secretary when paperwork reaches the top of his Majesty’s study, that is acceptable. I know many of us would find a good excuse if we were asked to help with it” a light chuckle was spread throughout the room, making even Thranduil smirk. “And as a messenger of his word to other lands, which as you mentioned, many of us have done before. But what about some of your other actions?”

“I did some research, out of curiosity and I’m specifically referring to volunteering in various causes -which is admirable, but also takes a big part of your day” he unfolded a scroll and started reading. “Joining patrols few days every week, visiting the orphanages every Friday –if I’m not mistaken- and donating as well, recruiting members of your guard personally, training them as well, offering manpower for the protection of the streets. Not to mention your actual duties, which are to keep our king and prince safe, which can take a lot of time, I imagine…”

  
“Where are you heading with this, my lord?” it was Sellion that spoke, instead of Elydir, probably reading his niece’s confused expression. “And training and recruiting are duties of a Commander, these do not qualify as volunteering”  
“Acceptable, lord Sellion” he replied. “But the point remains. No doubt, lady Elydir is doing everything in her power to help this realm and everyone in it.  But I believe this goes beyond the necessary levels” the man spoke. “May I express myself openly, your Majesty?” Thranduil’s nod was enough of an answer.

“You’re doing a lot of good for this land, my Lady. Perhaps covering a lot of things we should be doing as well. Donating, helping, protecting. No doubt, you’re a caring person, Elydir and for that, the state will always be thankful. Even if it’s not shown a lot” the Head of Court spoke. “But you’re doing too much and that is unhealthy for you, as well as dangerous for all of us”

“Do elaborate, Master Celeblasson” Thrandiul’s voice was heard, but Elydir did not turn to look. She knew him well enough to know when he agreed or disagreed with someone. So far, by his tone, he agreed.  
“While Lady Elydir works hard to help you and our citizens, she gathers a lot of power that is dangerous for everyone. Not only does it poses a threat to the council, but to you as well, your Majesty. I don’t implicate anything; let me make myself clear: I still believe we should be more like Lady Elydir”

Another council member stood, wishing to help the Head of the Court. A younger elf, the Head of the Healers of the realm. “As I understand lord Celeblasson’s train of thought, allow me to assist him with his argument. Lady Elydir, your intentions are pure and you don’t seem interested in power of any form. But you’re involved in a lot of different matters, which gives you power on many different directions -even if you don’t want it. You need to understand the threat that any person would feel”  
“It is only logical that one must stay within the walls of their jurisdiction, but also their sector. You’re a military officer, a warrior and a councilor of the king; you don’t have the responsibilities of the entire realm on your shoulders; nor should you”  
The Head of the Court nodded in agreement. “Having your fingers in a lot of pies is dangerous for you and us all”

 

“Not to mention the fact that this busy lifestyle must be taking a tremendous physical toll on you. This last episode confirms it. Overworking yourself will not only weaken you but also drive you mad. Unfortunately, we cannot achieve perfection in everything, my lady, this is a dream that no one ever achieved. In fact, one wished to do that and thank goodness two little Hobbits managed to overthrow him. Do you see where I’m getting at? Noble wishes can be twisted in the hunt for perfection. You cannot fix every problem in this realm. You’ll either exhaust yourself to death or lose your sanity” the Head of the Healers replied.

“I suggest you think about relieving yourself of some of your duties and appoint them in other council members or people you trust, my Lady. That is my suggestion and may the crowd and you, my lady, take it into consideration” the Head of the Court replied, before sitting once more.

 

Elydir remained silent throughout the long speeches. Though there should probably be an answer to these words, deep down she knew both of them had valid points. And yet, a selfish part of her wanted to be angry. She was doing what all others should do, precisely because no one was actually doing them. And a hunt for perfection? Is safety and eliminating danger or poverty perfection? But how should she feel about this?

Still, one pair of eyes remained glued on the wooden table. Cadeyrn had never been so… uninterested? This silence was really difficult to read. Especially at a moment she could use someone supporting her against these allegations.

“I say” another member of the council – an elven woman in charge of trading routes and exchanges- “we give the Knight some time to rest and process everything that was said. There are many agreeing on these matter, my lady. We cannot ignore the rumors and, well, what we see. Your personal involvement with the king makes your position even more delicate with the amount of power you possess at this moment. As well as your health, considering…”  
“Considering what exactly, my Lady?” this defensive tone left her lips before she could stop it. “My part-human nature? Do you really wish to throw that in the pile of problems I -apparently- cause?”  
Raising her hands in defense, the lady should her head. “I meant no disrespect, Lady Elydir. My words are literal, it’s true you’re physically weaker. It’s not a bad thing and certainly not something you chose to have. But it’ll always be there. Now rest and consider assigning some of your duties to others” she added with a soft smile. That didn’t relax Elydir’s tensed shoulders or her tight grip of her sword.

It was Thranduil’s hand under the table that did the trick. Nodding, Elydir offered the smallest of smiles to those that spoke. Though Elydir wanted so badly to excuse herself from the rest of the meeting, she remained silent until the end.

 

~*~


	21. Let's try and relax, hm?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the council meeting, Ely needs a break. Though Cad's presence is soothing, it's Thranduil that surprises her with a way to relax.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her headcanons, to understand more of her story and personality.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

As the king was called to deal with some matters directly after the morning session, Elydir excused herself and returned to the royal chambers. Only she didn’t enter. Instead, she turned around and entered her own chambers, that she didn’t use as much anymore. There, she filled the tub on the bathroom floor with warm water and prepared an aromatic bath.

She was in the water until it turned cold and the smell of flowers was starting to fade. Ely was just sitting there. For quite some time, she was simply staring at the wall across her, but later, she pulled her knees close to her body and held them tightly. So she was doing too much now? Helping too much? When no one cared and certainly no one would care in the future? She was asked to do less, especially since she would become queen. If she ever did.

 

Everyone was so certain and yet, Thranduil had not even proposed. Not that Ely knew what to answer, if he did. She was still unsure if this life was the one she wanted. But then again, belonging to her one true love was something she could only dream off.

_Do less_ , they asked. _Too much power in your hands_.  
Disliked by many, yet she had power over.. who, the people? She was always happy to listen to their worries and carry their word to the council, to help them have a better life. Most of the poor and homeless had found an honest living in the last decades, crime rates had fallen with the Kingsguard patrolling, orphans that reached adolescence were forced to leave the orphanage but could still find a way to survive. Their society was growing stronger and healthier with each passing year. And she wanted to believe that she had even the smallest percentage of contribution to it.

Then, Thranduil wanted a wife at his side. One that would attend meeting and do paperwork with; one he could rule the realm with. Not a fighter, a knight, a commander. He wished for her to have luxuries and jewels, not being out in the forest, slaying spiders and orcs that would cross their borders. And she wouldn’t mind less danger, but less action? A life in scrolls and meetings was.. not what she wanted.

This dilemma was almost suffocating.

Was she to accept the council’s word and become inactive, as a future queen? Or ignore them, continue her work and probably refusing Thranduil’s proposal for a different life?  
Sighing, she exited the bath and got dressed, once more. Feeling her chest heavy, she was in no condition to work, stressed and tired emotionally. But, as she exited her old chambers, she found someone that would hopefully make her feel better.

 

[ Cadeyrn’s p.o.v. ]

Things could not be better for them. Not only did their plan worked to shake the White Knight, but also made her unstable enough for everyone to notice. After today’s council, the members were not just talking of the power the elf possessed, but her mental stability as well. Something his aunt would be delighted to hear and probably use against her as well.

Elydir falls and so does Thranduil. She was the basic line of defense. Cad still believed they could target Thranduil directly, but no one seemed to agree. Everyone’s filled with joy as Mirkwood’s corruption grows stronger and the crown grows weaker. As its last good parts fall, the Followers of Melkor rejoice.

 

Sighing, Cadeyrn walked in the halls, not wishing to remain inside the palace for the day. Somehow the walls felt like closing in from every direction, trapping him there.  
_Guilt_. He felt this unknown-to-him emotion more and more these days. Ages had he waited for the fall of Elves, the rise of Melkor and finally, the completion of his vision: the perfect world they were promised. Sauron fell and hope seemed to fade, until rumors of Melkor’s return started to appear. If he could rise again, so could Sauron. Once more.

He was taken by surprise when a delicate hand caught his arm gently. Elydir was smiling softly at him, pulling him away from his thoughts.  
“Didn’t you hear me calling you, mellon nin?” she spoke kindly.  
Goodness, she was a mess. She looked exhausted, signs of sleepless nights made her features sharper and her golden eyes darker. But she looked tired on the inside as well, which made perfect sense. Being told you do things wrong would shake every person, no matter the context.  
“My apologies, I… I find it really hard to concentrate today, for some unknown reason”

 

“I noticed. You were silent the whole morning. I expected at least a question in the meeting. Or a look, at least” she spoke. Perhaps Cadeyrn’s clouded mind was obvious to others, especially those he assosiated with. He needed to be more careful.  
“I apologize. I am feeling a bit... Under the weather, I suppose. I was interested in what happened, Ely, I just couldn’t focus. I’m sorry”  
“You have nothing to apologize for” she replied. “I was just worried for you”  
Cadeyrn scoffed at that statement. “ _You_ were worried for _me_? Ely, you looked like you’ve seen a ghost for days. But you’re the one that’s worried?” he teased.

 

Smiling, they walked together, side by side. “I suppose you’re right. I’ve been rather… upset with what happened”  
“We all noticed. I even..” he rolled his eyes. “I even went to talk to Thranduil about it. But he seemed equally worried, lacking of answers to my queries. I guess he didn’t mention this visit to you”  
Elydir shook her head. “No, he had not. But I still appreciate it a lot” she smiled softly. “I wanted to talk to you, Cad…”

Though the moment she was about to continue, a messenger called her name. “There is a matter of urgency, Commander, and the King requests your presence”  
Nodding in thanks, she looked at Cadeyrn apologetically.  
“Go” he said, not minding. It’s not like it was the first time they were interrupted. “Come find me when you have time. I’m always here for you”

~*~

Elydir walked to the king’s study, feeling her head heavy. Perhaps all this time in the water was not as helpful as she thought. She felt even more tired and the feeling that things would keep getting worse didn’t fade at all. Not even when she saw the sweet, familiar smile of her ruler.

Thranduil seemed calm, oddly calm. The knight walked to him, kissing the top of his head, as he still held a piece of paper in his hand. He pulled his chair back and gently pulled Ely to sit on his lap, strong arms surrounding her and making her feel safe. Breathing in his scent never failed to relax her, but it didn’t seem to work as effectively as usual. Though the weight she felt on her chest did fade away.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she murmured, eyes closed as she was held tightly.  
The Elvenking rubbed her back tenderly. “Tell you what, meleth nin?”  
“That you agree with them” she replied. “Had you even thought about it before?”  
“Hm… The fact that you work too much, yes. But the power threat… I always thought they weren’t taking you seriously, so you posed no threat to them”

Elydir pulled back, to look at him with her eyebrow raised and Thranduil offered a confused expression. “I mean.. Come now, you thought the same; be honest”  
Though the knight was highly amused by the momentary worry of her king, she let it go for now. “You have not offended me, my love, you’re right. So did I. What power do I possess that can bring down an entire council anyway?”  
“I’ll take a wild guess and say the people, Elydir” he replied, irony coloring his voice. “I mean, sure, many are still not fond of you but no one can deny you do your job well. People trust someone that gets the job done. Especially if she’s kind to all, doesn’t mistreat the people, doesn’t misuse her power. I can understand their worry, even if it’s pointless”

 

“After all” he caressed her cheek. “If you want power, you can have it all. By my side, as my queen, you will have the ultimate power. Change the world as you see fit, as you believe it should be”  
Elydir scoffed. “You know I cannot and will not do that. Surely I’ll help just as I do now, but I’m still not interested in power that way. Acceptance is all I ever wanted and I finally have it. I can’t help but feel proud, as well as sad over the words of the council. They see and recognise my struggle. I find it impossible not to be proud of myself at the moment. But.. being told I do too much was… unexpected”

“I can see the delicate change of topic, but this seems more important at the moment” Thranduil teased, placing a loving kiss on her lips. No time to discuss the duties of a queen that she was not yet. “You are accepted and your work is recognised. But I understand what they believe. They think all this work you do can push you off balance. Mentally”  
Elydir’s confused expression was enough to make Thranduil elaborate. “Your guards found you after Irindul gather them and sent them in the forest as searching parties. Took him two hours and when he finally did, you were not awake nor sleeping. You were talking, but not making sense. You were in total shock, meleth, they brought you to me and I didn’t know what to do”

Swallowing, Elydir looked down. “I… Wasn’t aware of that”  
“I gave specific orders that no one tells you of it. Not even the healers. They gave you a sedative so you could sleep, when you woke up you were yourself again. With something missing”  
“I can see why you were silent. You had those thoughts in your head long before this morning” Ely murmured. “I do too much”  
“You do everything you can to stay busy. Which means you either love working in a dangerous degree –proving the council right- or trying to keep your mind off of something. Which, I assume, is whatever you cannot share with me”

The maiden didn’t know how to respond, there was nothing to say. Thranduil had put together the puzzle pieces and he knew the answer already. He placed his finger under her chin and gently raised her head. “I sent for you for another matter though. Hopefully one that will put a smile on your face”

Picking up the paper he held before, he handed it to Elydir. “Read it out loud”  
Taking it, she kissed his cheek before looking at the words. “ _My dear Thranduil_ ” she looked at him. Who could possibly speak with such familiarity to him?  
“ _I haven’t heard from you in eons and your letter surprised me in the most wonderful way. It is always good to hear from your own kin. And this is quite hard these days, cousin_ ”

“Cousin?” she raised her gaze once more to meet Thranduil’s, but he only nodded her to continue.  
“ _I would be delighted if you’d pay me a visit, there are so many matters to discuss in person. As well as seeing you, that will bring me joy. We haven’t spoken in person since Gal…ladriel and I had attended…_ ”

 

“What is this?” she asked, waving the paper.  
“I sent a message to my distant cousin, Celeborn. Thought you and I could pay him and Galadriel a visit. As he said, we haven’t seen each other in ages and.. I admit, I quite enjoy his company. Even more than Elrond’s. But don’t tell him that” he smiled, much like a mischievous child would.  
“Why now? And since when do you wish to leave the halls of this realm? Even if Lorien is two day’s ride from here, you’ve repeatedly refused to visit in various occasions you were invited”  
“But” he interrupted her. “This time is different. First, because you desperately need a break from all this. It’s more than obvious and while I wanted to send you to Imladris, I figured that a visit to my kin wouldn’t hurt anyone. And second, you didn’t finish the letter”

Taking a quick look at it, Elydir left a dry chuckle. “So, coincidentally, lady Galadriel throws a celebration and she invites us anyway?”  
“Not convincing, huh?” Thranduil asked, but Elydir simply smiled at his cute expression.  
“Not really, no” she pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear. “Are you sure about that? I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, just to give me a few days off”  
“Ely, I’m not an animal, I know how to communicate with others. And how to walk. I thought –odd as it may sound- that it would be good for me as well to see the sun and get some fresh air”

“In Lothlorien?” the knight asked, not amused. “You have a large garden. And we’re surrounded by the forests, fields and rivers. Even mountains”  
“But not that particular forest” he added, the mischievousness still there. “Since when do you say no to a trip? Especially to Lorien? You spent years in your childhood there, didn’t you? I assume you’ve missed the place, if not any friends you have there”  
“It’s not that. I just feel that you treat me as if I’m sick. That I need to leave Greenwood and take a deep breath and heal somewhere else, before I return to work again”

 

“You _need_ to heal, Elydir. Let me remind you that you barely slept and ate the past week, that you barely talked and smiled” Thranduil pointed out, his tone changing into one more serious and imposing. This makd Elydir lower her gaze again.  
“My beauty” his tone softened again. “I’m trying to help you as best as I can. And I’m running out of options. A week, just you and me. Sure, a few meetings and all, but think about it. Walking in the city, seeing the lords -which I’m sure they’ve missed you- walking in the forest. Safe and carefree for once. Not to mention the obvious: a feast. Songs and drinks and food and laughs. It’ll be fun”

“You do realize how surreal you sound when you talk of fun?” Elydir commented, making Thranduil chuckle.  
“I do. Which only shows how hard I’m trying” he pressed his forehead against hers. “One week, together. A nice dress to make you shine brighter than any star, not that you need one. You shine like a star every moment of the day for me”  
“Aww” she smiled. “Sweet-talking will get you anywhere, Thranduil”  
“I’m fully aware” he smiled. “Perhaps we can even.. Try new things. Who knows? We’ll have time to spend together”

 

In that statement, the elf’s cheeks turned into a darker shade and she closed her eyes. It’s been some time since she and the king have been trying to.. connect. But haunting memories and shyness made things pretty difficult. Though it seemed Thranduil knew his way around a woman and knew how to make her feel nice –if not too nice- she still felt unsure of the actual action of lovemaking.

“Perhaps that trip is not that bad, after all” she murmured. “If we’ll be together, then I don’t care. I just need you by my side. Only you”  
Thranduil kissed her nose and then tenderly, her lips. “Then that’s exactly what you’ll have: me”

~*~


	22. Mad future Elvenqueen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so, our couple travels to Lothlorien. Let's hope that Elydir will find peace there.
> 
> Check out my muse's story and her headcanons, to understand more of her story and personality.  
> { http://i-dream-of-oceans.tumblr.com/nav }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've stretched the story a bit, and that is because the action's about to start. Our bad guys will get their turn, bad things will happen and so I'm trying my best to set a good basis for everything. Be a little patient and the story will hopefully surprise you.

Word spread fast, becoming gossip even faster. The king was leaving the realm for a couple of days, to meet with the neighbor elven kingdom in the Woods of Lorien. No one missed the connection with the recent behavior of the White Knight and the king’s decision to visit another land.

In fact, gossip spread like wildfire and all sorts of theories reached Elydir’s ears. The most common was that she needed help by lady Galadriel to get over whatever had clouded her mind the past few weeks. Other was that she was going insane and that perhaps she could find her sanity there. One crazy theory even supported that Thranduil and Elydir were going to get married in secret there, because she was either dying or going insane and they needed to make it official. That last one made Elydir roll her eyes twice. Elydir, the Mad Elvenqueen.

 

“Like Thranduil would miss the opportunity of having a huge, fabulous wedding for everyone to see. He’s a peacock, he naturally enjoys showing off” Elydir commented, sipping her tea. She was seated in her study’s comfortable chair, but facing the window behind her, enjoying the slowly rising sun. There was a chair next to hers, with one of her most trusted friends on it, that had joined her for breakfast.

“He would definitely grab this opportunity by the hair” a melodic voice replied. “I wasn’t present, obviously, but I hear ada’s wedding was legendary”  
Elydir chuckled at Legolas. “Are you serious? I’ve asked, like, everyone. And have heard many descriptions, from detailed to simpler ones. All included the terms ‘bright, ‘majestic’ and ‘remembered forever’. It is, after all, a royal wedding, they are supposed to be like this”  
“The one included. Especially with two royal members, this time” Legolas added, eyes not leaving the horizon, not even when Ely looked at him with a raised eyebrow.  
“Right” she scoffed. “Lady of the realm and all. No need to remind me...”

The prince chuckled, before taking another sip. “I agree with ada’s decision, Ely; a few days of can be very refreshing. Look at me, for instance. I’ve been gone for a few months and it was.. truly refreshing”  
“I see” the knight replied. She was delighted to have her friend back, especially in this time that she needed him the most, but she could see he already missed the peace of the wilderness, the thrill of adventuring and even Imladris’ serenity. It was colored on his features.

 

“Question is: how did he even decide to write a letter to them? As far as I remember he and Galadriel are not the closest of friends. Despite Celeborn being distant family and all”  
Legolas shrugged. “Desperate times, Ely” he offered. “He must’ve been really worried to do such a thing. I personally would’ve send you to Imladris alone, to clear your head. But something tells me ada’s choice was the right one: you two need to stay together. Only he can help you heal faster”  
“Everyone’s saying ‘heal’ as if I’m wounded...” she commented. “This ‘wound’ is deep and not meant to ever close. And, Legolas, I know you’ve asked before. So had Thranduil. I still cannot tell you about it. I can't risk losing any of you”

The prince left a long sigh, before turning to look at Elydir. “I know. And I won’t push you about it; I take it you’ve already been asked many times for whatever haunts you. But know there are consequences. People say you’re starting to lose yourself. If they knew there is something you did in your past that haunts you –even if they don’t know what that it- they might start speculating. And you know rumors, they can grow as large as a Balrog within a single month”

 

“Well, you’re not wrong” Elydir replied, taking another sip. “But marrying your father won’t solve this. It won’t make it fade, I’ll just once more suppress it enough to forget it. It’s a part of me, no matter what. And my image won’t be fixed either. Now everyone will think the king’s marrying a workaholic psycho”  
“I mean…” Legolas shrugged. “There’s no lie in that statement”  
Though both giggled at the joke, she punched his arm playfully. “Idiot”

But Elydir’s expression became serious again. “I’m worried Thranduil wants Galadriel to extract whatever happened from me and tell him”  
Legolas turned to face her, surprise painted on his expression. “That’s a serious accusation, Elydir. Ada would never go that far, just to find out of a hurtful event of your past”  
“What if he thinks this will help me? To share whatever happened? Already too many people know of it, without knowing what ‘it’ is. My uncle, then you and now your father. I cannot hold any secrets, especially from the three of you. And you all know there is one, to begin with. I can’t help but feel.. Terrified. Always stressed that I will slip and tell you. It’s frustrating and... just terrifying”

 

“Whatever it is” Legolas took Elydir’s hand in his own. “Whenever you wish to tell us, we will listen. No matter how bad it is. We share everything, we’re a family”  
“We cannot be one, not when there are secrets between us” she replied softly. “I feel like I owe you the truth”  
“You never owe those you love explanation for your past. It’s the past, we’ve all made mistakes. It’s gone, Elydir. Over. Whatever happened, you owe us nothing. We only wish to help you move on from it, as we can see it still affects you. Otherwise, you’re free to keep it to yourself forever”

A gentle knock was heard just as Elydir was about to answer. The door opened before she could speak a word, which only one person did. The king walked in, dressed in a dark red tunic with golden details. “Ah, ion nin. You’re here as well, wonderful” he closed the door and walked to them. “I take it you’re both ready?”

“Yes, ada” Legolas stood. “I’m very happy to see Lorien again. Even for a day and then return. Are you ready to travel, after so long?”  
“Honestly, ion, not that much. But the company will make it better and the fresh air as well”  
Elydir stood and took one last sip of her tea before walking to the two blonds. “Then let us go. I’m in a dress and hate traveling in one. So the faster we arrive, the better”

 

As a Lady of the realm escorting her king to another realm, Elydir had chosen to present herself accordingly. No leather armor today, unfortunately, but instead she wore a new creation of the royal tailor.  
Inspired by a foreign land from Middle Earth, that merchants have come from and showed their traditional clothing, which the tailor fell in love with. The women there wear a hybrid of a dress and tunic, called salwar and they wear leggings of matching color and fabric with them. Basically it’s a very long tunic that looks like a dress, but elegantly decorated on the edges.

Even if Elydir’s new outfit was as comfortable as simple leggings and a regular tunic, she still felt a bit uncomfortable in this one. Perhaps the feeling of being a lady rather than a knight was the rear reason behind it. Still, the fabric was soft and yet warm, even if it was spring and the weather was getting warmer and warmer. The leggings and the long, outer tunic were both matching the robes of the king, in the same shade of red and with golden details. Elydir chuckled to herself when she saw it, thinking it was the female version of Thranduil’s outfit. Matching outfits. Would you look at that…

[https://i.pinimg.com/564x/bd/f1/9c/bdf19cc30c3393db93d86e02f568985b.jpg ]

 

The three of them walked to the gates, where Elydir mounted her black stallion. She was grateful she wasn’t wearing a normal dress but this salwar, because there wasn’t anything more uncomfortable than riding with a dress and being unable to properly mount.  
Petting Thrandraug’s neck, she moved next to the king’s elk.

“We’re matching” Elydir commented. Thranduil seemed very please with that fact, pride making his smile wider.  
“We are indeed. And not a dress. Is there anything else I can do to make you feel comfortable, I wonder...” Thranduil winked at her, before moving forward. And so the journey started.

 

~*~

 

In a regular pace –regular for a royal convoy- the journey was one and a half days long. Sometimes two, depending with the times the convoy would stop for the king to rest or the threats that they could encounter. But instead, as nightfall arrived, the convoy reached Lorien and was welcomed by a patrol. Almost no stops and fast pace were enough to save precious time. Though, admittedly, it was a tiring journey.

The city of Lothlorien. Elydir shuddered as they entered, the place looking so majestic under the pale lights. Elves were smiling and waving as the royal convoy entered the city, soon forming a crowd.  
The Lord and Lady were waiting by the palace’s entrance. Dressed in white and silver, the couple looked –as always- stunning. As if they were not real, but ghosts. Pure light reflected on this wonderful celestial-looking duo.

 

As they arrived, Thranduil dismounted and helped Elydir as well, offering her a warm smile, before taking her hand and walking to the lords.  
Both bowed, but so did Thranduil and Elydir in return. After all, they were mere visitors to their realm. Thranduil’s title held little meaning in Lorien, especially since Celeborn and Galadriel held the same power over their people, but chose not to rule as monarchs.

“Welcome, King Thranduil. Lorien's Forest welcomes you and your White Knight” Celeborn spoke, escorting Galadriel as they walked down the stairs to greet the royal visitors. “It is an honor having you here, cousin. As well as a personal joy. Welcome” he added, in a lower and softer voice. A tone friendlier and less formal than the previous one.  
“We are the honored ones, dear cousin” Thranduil replied and placed his free hand over his heart. A gesture Celeborn returned.  
Galadriel stood there, watching their interaction, but her eyes soon moved to Elydir, her serene smile making the knight’s knees weak. It has been so long and Galadriel looked even more beautiful than Elydir remembered. Though Elydir did copy Thranduil’s gesture, the Lady of Light simply opened her arms. Elves were not font of physical contact. But Galadriel loved hugs.

 

Chuckling, Elydir didn’t even think of it. She embraced her tightly, feeling all her worries fade. “I’ve missed you so much, my Lady”  
Stroking her dark hair gently, Galadriel looked at Thranduil. “As have I. Both of you”  
Pulling back, Elydir looked at Celeborn, hesitating to do the same, but did the gesture instead. “It’s so wonderful to have you both here. Especially Elydir, who hasn’t seen Lothlorien since she was young. I remember the last time you were here, a teenage girl determined to be a knight. And now look at her. A fully grown woman, strong and beautiful”  
Though Elydir’s cheeks turned red, it was Thranduil’s smile that caught everyone’s attention. “She became so much more than just a knight. But we can sit here and praise my beloved Elydir for hours. Shall we?”

It's not even surprising that Legolas' presence was normal to the realm. He had spent a lot of time there as well as Imladris and he didn't even take part on the formalities. It seems someone has been making the right friends.

 

An actual crowd had been formed around the entrance, that the patrol of the convoy was keeping at a safe distance. Elydir looked back, searching for a particular guard. As the two men walked in front of them, already chuckling at something, Galadriel took Elydir’s hand. It was indeed refreshing. To feel so welcome and to see someone had actually missed her. “Little moonflower” the lady smiled. “Look at you. How much you’ve grown since your coronation. You were too big for that armor you wore when you became a knight. And now, you’re.. stunning”  
“Please, my Lady” Elydir’s cheeks were still red. “I’m not used to praising, I- I don't know how to reply to it”  
“I doubt that. You must be drowning in it. Especially from that tall man in front of us” she teased. “I’m truly glad you visited us. I’ve been thinking of a visit myself. We are at peace, true peace after ages. We have the luxury of time and safety to visit each other, don’t you think?”

The four of them were escorted in dining halls, where dinner was served. For a moment, they were all talking to each other, chatting happily and joking around. Many members of the realm’s court were there, but Elydir was still missing someone.  
“My lady” once more, the two cousins were lost in a conversation and the ladies had plenty of time to talk as well. “I can’t help but wonder… who is your current marchwarden?”  
“Oh, of course” the lady chuckled. “I’ve been wondering who you’ve been looking for. It is the one you seek, only he is in patrol tonight. Thinking you’d arrive tomorrow, he took the night shift so he would welcome you in the morning”  
“I see. I’m surprised we came so fast as well. I suppose I’ll see him tomorrow then” Elydir smiled kindly.

 

“So, tell me” the Lady continued. “How did it happen?”  
For a moment, Elydir was confused by the generic question, but she soon realized what the lady was referring to. “Oh…” Ely smiled. “Well, I think I was good at hiding my secret –that I had feelings for him- but apparently I wasn’t. Thranduil’s life was in danger and he had to hide at our family house, in the forest, for a few weeks. It was the little things, mostly. But I had no idea he returned my feelings until we had a fight. You know both of us, we always fight. It just came out of my lips and… It ended well. We’ve been together ever since”  
Galadriel smiled, sipping her wine. “It’s perfect. Fitting your relationship, one with a lot of fire in it. And matching outfits, hm? I admit, very cute and also giving a clear statement: this is truly happening”  
“What do you mean?” Ely asked, before taking a bite of her food.  
“You will soon be crowned queen” Galadriel replied, in a relaxed tone. Elydir noticed the lady was rather friendly and relaxed this whole time –which Ely liked- but she must’ve noticed a change in the knight’s expression and sat a bit straighter on her seat.

“Did I spoke of something I shouldn’t have, little moonflower?” she asked softly.  
“Oh no, of course not. It’s just.. the statement is quite unusual for me. I.. I still haven’t..” Ely shrugged. “He hasn’t proposed and I haven’t…”  
“Oh. You’re unsure of it...” the lady said softly. “This requires a long discussion that I sense you want to have with me. Tomorrow, then. Today, we exchange news and stories. I want your stay here to be as pleasant as possible, you're not on official business. Here, you're our honored guest and that young girl that used to ask so many questions. This stay here should be as pleasant as possible for you”

 

‘ _As pleasant as possible_ ’. She wondered what Thranduil had written in his letter that had made Galadriel so careful with Elydir. When the Elvenqueen died, Sellion had taken little Elydir to Lothlorien and had stayed here for some years. She was studying history with Galadriel and strategy with Celeborn, as the lords were close with her uncle. This is how she knew them and was so familiar with them. She was very font of them and they both were glad to take care of a little girl –perhaps remembering their own daughter. But this was suspiciously relaxed, too careful. Galadriel always had a certain tone in her voice, one filled with wisdom and her words were delicate and euphonic. This tone was casual. Too casual.

“I think I should rest for the night, my lady” Elydir replied, keeping her thoughts to herself and controlling her expression so she wouldn’t show anything.  
Thranduil must’ve heard of that and reached for Elydir’s hand. “Ready to retire for the night?”  
“Oh, please, stay my king. There is no need to accompany me” Elydir smiled kindly, standing but not letting go of his hand.  
“Are you sure, my beauty?” He asked softly, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.  
“Stay for as long as you like, my love. I don’t mind, truly”

Bowing to their hosts, Elydir excused herself. Following a servant, she was lead to the chambers she was to share with Thranduil. The room was vast and bright, though thick curtains hang in front of the large window. It almost covered the whole wall, curved at the top as it was. She pulled the curtains open, so the nightsky could be seen. Through the leaves of the trees were thick, there was a clearing in front of the palace and the sky was visible from the room she was in.

 

Their luggage was there, most things already unpacked, probably thanks to Galion. Elydir only hoped he had willingly followed them there. Of course, he was Thranduil’s servant but there was a choice if someone wished to remain back in Greenwood. Either way, she was happy to slip in one of Thranduil’s shirts –that was a short dress for Elydir- and lie on the soft bed. Lazily stretching, she let a long sigh before closing her eyes.

Was Thranduil overprotecting? Yes, he always was. To a point where his fear had made him a different man than the one he truly was. He pushed Legolas away because of this fear, this stupid idea of protecting him that way. How glad Elydir was that they were brought closer once Legolas returned, after the war. And not to mention that their own fights usually held fear and worry for one another behind them. Yet, this time her king's behavior troubled her.

What if Thranduil’s overprotection would suffocate her? It was one of the reasons she was unsure of this wedding. Thranduil’s love was a gift she could not believe it was hers now. But his fear? That was their true enemy, taking over him entirely at times.

 

She remained in bed, trying to clear her head. Perhaps she was overreacting.  
Thranduil returned, quietly entering but as he saw her awake, he walked to the bed. “I see you’ve made yourself comfortable” He commented, before removing his outer robes and throwing them to a chair near the bed. He climbed half of the bed and placed a tender kiss on Ely’s lips, before moving away again to fully change.

“It’s a beautiful place and it truly fills you with peace” she replied. “But I am quite sleepy. We came here so fast, I didn’t realize I got tired from our trip”  
“But not only” Thranduil said, from the wardrobe. “Something bothered you. I saw the change, even when I was talking with Celeborn. You suddenly lost your smile”  
“I.. yes, I was surprised by something I noticed” she replied honestly.  
"Which was?" he asked, returning to bed with his upper body bare. Once more, under the starlight, he resembled a detailed statue. A perfectly carved rock, that had come to life.

 

"I truly needed this trip, after all" she replied, gently running her hand over his soft skin. "I needed some time with you, without the fear of being seen or heard"  
"There will always be ears and eyes on us" Thranduil replied, pulling her close. "But what we are called to do is live our lives ignoring them. It's our life, it concerns only us"  
"I know" she murmured. "I'm just... not ready yet. For an entirely different life than the one I have now. I'll always look over my shoulder. Always have a weapon on me. Always expect people to leave"  
"I won't ever leave you" Thranduil promised. "And trust me, nothing can prepare you for this life. It is bestowed on you, you are asked to live it without having a say on the matter. But, what makes it beautiful, is knowing you have someone to share this weight. You have me, just as I've always had you"

This is so important to Thranduil. Only a fool wouldn't understand his need for companionship in more than just a title. He didn't need a Queen or an assistant. He needed a friend and someone to love him and be loved by him. Elydir knew these things. But she could also see how important it was to him to officialize this relationship.

 

Needless to say that, despite how tired she felt, sleep didn't come easily. But when it did, eventually, it was blank. Colored by no dreams, no memories or thoughts. It was just a dark, quiet night.

~*~


End file.
